Mums (and Dads!) who have more than 4 kids - how on earth do you cope!??

Question

Here Here Christine! Well said - and ditto..

Answer 1

My husband and I have 5 girls, ages 21, 18, 17, 15 & 12. It really wasn't the number of children either of us were thinking about having before we had any. He wanted 1 son (lol) and I wanted 3 kids at the most. After I had my 2nd daughter (had my first at 25), I felt that three wouldn't be enough. I come from a big family and deep down I wanted one of my own. I think the only reason why my husband agreed to keep having more was so he could have a boy, but that never happened.
I love my 5 girls to death and they are the center of my world, but we certainly had our down days. I remember certain times looking at my husband and saying “WHY DID WE HAVE 5!? WHY DIDN’T SOMEONE STOP US?!” and many times where I couldn’t imagine not having them around. They are 5 well behaved, respectful, caring, loving and passionate young women and they weren't just born that way. Raising 5 kids was a lot of work but I did my best and I think I did a pretty good job.
When my girls were younger, it was hard at times to keep everything in line, but I learned to go with the flow, to take what life threw at me and to go one day at a time. I learned to multitask VERY well. I'd be helping the oldest with homework, breaking up a little fight between my middle ones, feeding the baby, making dinner, folding laundry and talking on the phone to my mother about the kids all at the same time. I’d amaze myself with what I could do.
We had a set routine (with a little bit of wiggle room) that all my girls followed and if they didn't, they knew they'd be in huge trouble. Their chores were to make their bed, have their room clean and put their folded clothes away. As they got older, every week they would switch between doing the jobs of emptying all the garbage cans, the dishwasher, setting the table and making sure the playroom was clean. They were home from school at 3, homework finished by 4, showers by 7, in bedrooms by 9 and all lights out by 915. There was never any fuss or battle about it. That’s how it was set since they could remember. After 915 I made lunches for the next day, put them in the fridge, cleaned up etc and relaxed.
The girls were taught manners, values, responsibility and good behavior. They knew I had ZERO TOLLERANCE for acting up and only my oldest tested my limits :). They knew I was always there to come to if they needed something and I have a very open relationship with all of them.
As they got older, they were each allowed to pick 1 after school activity. They couldn't all do everything they wanted but understood it was because they had 4 other siblings. When one had a game, we all went to watch. When one had a recital, we all went to watch. Everyone got their turn to shine in front of the family. At least once a month, I would do something with just me and one of my girls. Whether we went shopping, into the city, went out for dinner etc, I made sure they had some one on one time with me and they really enjoyed that. We also did A LOT as a family. We ate dinner every night together. We did lots of family trips, outings and spent a lot of time in our backyard swimming, cooking and relaxing. I have TONS of pictures around the house. I love it and I find it weird when I go to someone’s house and see only one or two pictures of their kids. My house has so many pictures of the girls together, by themselves, in the ocean, school, our backyard etc at all different ages.
We are very blessed to be able to support our 5 girls with very little financial issues. They were sent to the public schools down the street and did/do excellent. We gave them what they NEEDED and a little bit of what they wanted. They were taught the value of a dollar and learned to pay for things that they wanted and to get jobs and work themselves. When they reached their teen years, we set up a curfew and a schedule when it came to the cars. The rule was that if you wanted to drive, you had to be willing to help me out as well with the driving and dropping off of siblings and picking things up here and there. I COMPLETELY understood that I AM the parent and not them, but I do believe that if you're part of a family, you are to help out every now and then. It isn't the end of the world and isn't going to ruin your childhood.
There were good days and bad days with my girls. I'd laugh until I cried and screamed until I was blue in the face all in the same hour when it came to them. They could be monsters one minute, hitting each other and fighting over toys and be angels the next, playing nicely together and offering to help each other out. Each of them have their own personality and there were rivalries in my house sometimes! My 18yr use to not get along with any of my girls. Little Miss. Independent, I don't need the rest of you. My 15yrs use to/still does get along with everyone, was ALWAYS willing to give a hand. My oldest was the rule tester and use to see how far she could push me. My youngest is the complete opposite. My 17yrs, the middle one, can be moody at times and fine the next. She is the walking definiation of middle child. They all had different interests and abilities. 3 of them will watch football with my husband, 2 of them like crabbing, 4 of them like dancing, all of them are HORRIBLE when it comes to history (weird subject, huh?) but all shine when it comes to writing.
I love my big family and the key was to take each day one at a time. My girls are at fantastic ages and I hate now that they're starting to leave :(. I remember wishing they would leave when they were little at times and now that those days are here, I wish they were little again. I'm bringing my 18yrs up to Boston University in two days! And my 17yrs leaves next year. Before you know it'll, you're nest is empty. They grow up too fast.
Best wishes =]

Answer 2

I am a father of 6 kids all boys. My wife and I sometimes have trouble but not all the time. Most of the time everything is fine and under control. We kind of manage because I drop and pick up the kids from school and after school activities. Also if they need help on their homework. My wife takes care of the house and cooking and the newborn. Together with the whole family we go to see special occasions like Daryll's rugby games, Stephen and Brent's cricket games. The others are yet kinda young to play the sports. When they fight its a problem but that we can manage. Most of the time my wife and I get special time after the kids go to sleep. To take a break on everything we go on family vacations now and then. I dont know how we manage but we do. I guess you and your spouse just got to be kinda organized and have to compromise a lot.

Answer 3

people like me ..we cope by giving everything we've got to get by.. hard work, yes.. great joy too.. at day's end all pain and strife is washed away by the comforting thought that my kids would say thank you someday.. somehow, in any way they can. I got six kids with me.. from two different moms. i'm a single-dad, see.. i have my kids bcoz i wouldnt let their moms abort them.. how did i cope? i really can't explain.. i didn't have the time then to grasp everything.. it's like taking a slip while holding a tray of eggs.. you'ld rather let yer head or body hit the floor, to prevent the eggs from breaking. i gez i gave away a lot of me for the kids' sake.. and i really don't mind at all.. my first-born is 3rd yr HS now.. my youngest is pre-school.. and im really gearing up everyday.. as i cant afford a maid, so i cook and clean, and work at home.. sometimes my parents help out to look after the kids when im ongoing construction works, im an architect .. sometimes i have to be away for weeks, it's a lot of sacrifice.. but hey, ain't that what being a parent is about?

about their moms? ..now, that's a different question..

Answer 4

that may no longer precisely a great formative years/youngster to check, whether, at the start being a single Mum with 3 infants to elevate on my own is not any elementary job, and in spite of a mothers endurance, some infants do stretch it to the shrink. Suspect your Mum has a complicated lonely existence, and feels a sprint functional help around the homestead may be effective. the reality you're purpose on leaving, in all probability throws up worry of "Will he be ok, Can he look after himself ?) etc etc, only like a number of Mums do. in line with probability your Mum has no longer been what you think approximately the ideal yet little question she tried complicated given the situations. may be useful spending a sprint time chatting together with her approximately hers and your thoughts, and take a inspect to reignite the mother/Son dating you have ignored and so of course pine for. attending to understand her motives to your undesirable formative years ought to help.

Answer 5

I have 6 boys aged between 15 and 4 and it can be hard sometimes but I wouldn't be without any of them. We do have problems but you get by with love and patience and eyes in the back of your head!!! You go without a lot but you get so much in return. my house is often a muddle but it's clean. Theres never enough space for everything. My washing pile could be mistaken for mount Everest on occasions( usually after they've been asked to tidy their rooms!!) and my washing machine is constantly on the go.
But there is a lot of laughter, a few tears the odd trip to A and E for falling out of trees, but I cope because I have to because I want to it's my job and I love it!

Answer 6

I'm a mother of 4 and yes it can be hard at times but me and my husband work as a very tight team and the most important thing to get right im my eyes are RULES. you need a good set of rules that everyone can keep to and then a good routine and everything else falls into place. (yes some days you do get a hiccup but thats what a team is for)

Answer 7

Actually, it's not that bad. I have 2 older kids that help me alot with the younger ones and they all play together and individually. The best is when I have to deal with one of them the others will play together and give me time with the one in trouble. The worst I'd say is when they all get sick at the same time. Hope this helps! I wouldn't change it for the world

Answer 8

I have 4 kids already 1 girl who is 8 another girl who is 5 and twin boy and girl who are 2, and im expecting another boy in 4 months.

Answer 9

My uncle has 8 kids ages between 3 years-20 years
My mom has 3 and she can barely handle us and since i'm the youngest i'm really spoiled

Answer 10

i have 5 siblings , 6 in total 3 girls 3 boys , some times its crazy , but i luv my brothers and sisters and sometimes help my mum out by helping my Little siblings with homework and my small sis 13 likes to cook.

Answer 11

I agree with Christine - I've just got the one and that's enough!