My boyfriend and i have been toghether awhile now. I really care about him and i know that he likes me and wants to lose his virginity to me. He knows how i feel and i think tries to be patient but he gest so frustrated sometimes. It makes me feel soooo bad however, I realize i am just not ready to be having sex. I always wanted my first time to be once i was married.. Also i can't get over the fact that pregnancy is always possible no matter how protected you think you are.
Somehow he doesn't seem to realize that this is a VERY real risk. I like him and I want him. I also want him to be happy but morally i don't feel like its the right thing to do. I also don't feel emotionally prepared but am scared i'm going to lose it to him anyway.
ps- i'm a christian and he's not and i feel this has really been harmful to me especially. although i like him soooo much and don't want to break things off with him. =(
2007-08-26 05:05:28 · 54 answers · asked by starryeyed 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If he cannot respect your values as a Christian, then he may not be the man for you. Just stay strong, and don't let him convince you otherwise. This is what you believe in. If you give in to his temptation, then you cannot go back. I respect your willingness to save yourself for marriage. Since he is not a Christian, he may not completely understand your values. Have a talk with him about it. If he can't accept it, then you may need to move on. If he can do this and respect your values, then I feel he does love you for you. You want to make sure he loves you for you and not for your body or sexual prowess. If he respects you, then he does love you and you should stay with him.
2007-08-26 05:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
You really are immature. Why did you get in marriage if you knew you couldnt keep the commitment of staying with someone for as long as you both should live. Its because of people like you that the divorce rates are so high If you want to have sex with someone that is not your husband..Get a divorce first and then do whatever you want. But you can not make someone think that you love them and then go off to the side to be with someone else.. that is completely disrespectful and inconsiderate. I really hope you do not have kids because you will end up hurting them. When you get married you really need to be 100% percent that this is going to be real and that you can make a commitment like that because i dont know if you know but marriage is a serious thing it is not something to joke around with or to think you could fool around with some other person. Im not the one to judge you. But really do things the right way. if you want to go out there have have sex outside your marriage get a divorce and do not lead on your husband. leave him and let him know you are curious and want to be free and you got into the marriage without 100% feeling that you could stay in it. Sorry i just read that u were looking at different views so reason why: -marriage is a serious thing and needs to stop being a joke to people -do not make a commitment you can not keep -and you would hurt the other person it would be best to end something before you start another. I hope taht helps
2016-05-18 02:10:05 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The Bible's taboo on sex outside of marriage has a lot to do with the time period. Because of the patrilinear (from father to son) succession, they had to be sure they were the father of the son they bequeathed their wealth and/or title to. Women were considered property, much like brood mares. A lot has changed since then.
However, that being said, if you are not ready then you are not ready. It's as simple as that. Noone should be pressured into sex, or let fear push them into it. Sex is about love and connection. Negative feelings or motivations have no place in it.
I know it is hard, but until you feel ready stand your ground. If he truly wants what is best for you he will understand. If he is only after personal gratification, you are better off knowing that now so that you can find someone who truly loves you.
2007-08-26 05:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two thoughts right away and they contradict eachother. The first is, don't have sex before you're emotionally prepared and you're obviously not. The second is just how I personally feel. I think people should live together before they get married. You don't really know how compatible you are with another person until you've done that. I respect that this isn't in keeping with a Christian upbringing, so I suggest this alternative. The Catholics have something called Engaged Encounter. It's a weekend retreat to see how compatible the two of you are, to decide whether you SHOULD get married. I bet there's a non-denominational version of this. Ask your pastor.
2007-08-26 05:11:56 · answer #4 · answered by vita64 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm not against pre-marital sex, as I'm an atheist. However, I am against people have sex before they are ready, and that it should be with someone you love and who loves you. I'm 17, and made the decision that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend of over a year, with whom I am in a very loving, healthy relationship with. That was the right choice for me.
However, you say that you're not ready. Which is perfectly fine. If you want to wait until marriage, then that is your choice and your right. If you're not emotionally prepared for having sex, then you shouldn't do it. If your boyfriend doesn't respect your beliefs and opinions, then he's not a very good boyfriend. If he really loves you, then he'll respect your decision about YOUR sexuality, and will wait for you. Anyone who doesn't respect you enough to not pressure you and who doesn't love you enough to wait, is not worth it. You can find someone better.
Only you can know what is right for you. And if that's waiting until marriage to have sex, then good for you. And if you feel this strongly about it, then stick to your beliefs. I wish you the best of luck and happiness :)
2007-08-26 05:14:37 · answer #5 · answered by Kristin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well a lot of the pregnancy still possible with protection spiel is played up dramatically to manipulate you into not having sex until you're ready. Can't say I disagree with that, though, considering the rate of teen pregnancy, abortion, and the hardships that causes on the people who have one, or have to raise a child at 14.
It doesn't matter if you're Christian. If you're not ready, you're not ready. If he doesn't just want you for that explicit sexual purpose, then he'll marry you as soon as he's able. If not, you'll discover his true nature by holding out.
2007-08-26 05:11:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i say if you want to wait thenhe should respect you
on that and for you to sit down and talk to him and explain
how you feel about this and if he is any kind of a good man
then he will understand and still be with you.so it is your
choice and his too if he cant wait then he knows where the
door is and dont let it hit you where the good lord split you.
i know from expericence i am a mother of 5 all by the same
dad i had sex at 16 got pregnate and then married him 2 kids later so 12 years later him and i are no longer together
so good luck to you
2007-08-26 05:17:18 · answer #7 · answered by az_angel_wings 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're not ready, you're not ready. It's as simple as that. I don't know how old you are, but don't get hung up on the slight risk of pregnancy. If you're well protected (i.e. on the pill and using a condom to protect against STD's) then the risk of pregnancy is lower than getting struck by lightning or winning the lottory. The real reason to not have sex is because you aren't ready, for whatever reasons. Don't worry, it will happen one day. It may not be with him, but when you're ready it will happen, and you don't have to do it before then, regardless of how your boyfriend feels.
2007-08-26 05:13:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should be able to do what you think is right, and what makes you happy. So should your boyfriend. He has to respect your reservations about sex; but he also has needs that aren't being met, and if he finally decides that he can't wait any longer, you'll have to respect that.
I don't personally believe that marriage is a necessary prerequisite to sex; in fact, I don't necessarily believe in marriage. I think your concerns about pregnancy are easily addressed, really; but if it's your religious decision to wait until you're married, so be it.
Obviously nobody on Yahoo R&S can tell you what to do about this. It's between you and him. I'm just tossing out some opinions.
2007-08-26 05:14:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would have been nice if you told us your age. My answer would be different if you are 15 than it would be if you are 25.
I am not a supporter of the idea that sex should wait until marriage. If I could start my life over, the one thing I would do is have more sex.
However, I am a firm believer in not having sex if you are not ready -- and not having sex with someone who is not ready.
Wait until you are ready -- then enjoy it without guilt.
2007-08-26 05:27:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ranto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him your not ready. Obviously you arent if you have to go to this measure. And dont listen to all these sinful people here telling you to do it or its ok to have sex out of marrige. Its your body and your life and you have got to manage it. Because at the end of the day all you have is you. I think you should just tell him exactly what you told us on here and if he cant except that then he was just looking for some sex believe it of not. If you are a Christian, what does Christianity mean to you? So on that note I think I will leave you with a be strong and stand up for what you believe and who you are. :)
2007-08-26 05:19:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋