We had another couple and their 10 month old over for dinner last night. Once she found out that we haven't offered our daughter (not quite 4 months) solids yet, and don't plan to until 6 months, she wouldn't let off on telling me to give her baby food. Even after hours of me quoting current medical research and defending our reasons, she still tried to give my daughter apples when she was feeding her son! I had to take my daughter and go outside for a while, I was so livid. At bedtime, I just went in the nursery with the baby until they left. This woman is constantly doing this - she bottlefeeds but she gives me breastfeeding advice!! Needless to say we are no longer going to spend time with them, but in the future, how do you get people to shut up about stuff like that? I tried to politely tell her we feel differently and change the subject, but it didn't work. How do you handle people like that??
2007-08-26 04:29:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Funny Girl - You're absolutely right - it took forever to get my daughter to bed last night because she could tell how pissed off I was when I was nursing her. Just all around a bad night!
2007-08-26 04:46:17 · update #1
She didn't actually get the apples in her mouth, thank God, but she held the spoon up towards her while asking me if it was ok. I snapped at her and left. Even if the apples were ok - why the heck would I want her sharing a spoon with another baby??
2007-08-26 04:48:47 · update #2
cathrl69 - Thanks for your experiences. I'm not set on six months, but I also don't feel that she is ready yet. Getting there, but not quite. I think it's best to wait until she is ready, not just give it to her because she's of a certain age and other people gave their kids food by then!
2007-08-26 04:51:45 · update #3
You just have to keep doing exactly what you are doing. Walking away, going to the nursery, changing the subject. You are the only one who knows what your baby wants and needs, because ALL babies are different. And everybody believes in something different. If you don't feel your baby is ready to have solid foods then she isn't ready yet.
I have a friend whos baby is 9 months old and she still just eats baby food and baby cereal, NO real solid foods, because she doesn't think that she could chew them good, (she just swollows her food). That is her choice. If it were to become a problem development wise, the doctor would tell her to do differently.
As far as your friend goes, she is definately not a good friend if you told her not to and she still tried to give your baby food. That is definately not someone that you want around. Your friends need to respect you and your decisions, EVEN IF they don't agree with them.
I wish you the best of luck with this situation and especially with your new little one!
Hope this was helpful to you! :-)
2007-08-26 04:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by I LOVE BEING A MOMMY 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
i'm getting that too. regularly from my mom in regulation. She's an "progressed determine" by using fact she had 4 little ones by 3 diverse adult males on a similar time as she became nonetheless in extreme college. i know how i'm elevating my little ones. If a definite rule or punishment would not artwork, I attempt some thing diverse. I do what's best for my little ones and that's no longer the comparable factor as what others could do. they don't seem to be being abused or starved so i do no longer see a topic.
2016-10-09 06:32:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You avoid them, I'm afraid - how did she know your baby doesn't have a medical condition and apple would be dangerous for her? That's unacceptable.
That said...a little bit more unsolicited advice :) Babies are ready for solids at all sort of different ages. You and she will be miserable if she's ready at 5 months and you are determined to follow current medical research (which is based on averages and statistics) and not let her have solids for a whole month more. Not saying you should ignore it, or give her solids earlier, just that you should keep an open mind and remember that all babies are different.
2007-08-26 04:48:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well you are the one is doing the right thing. It is not recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics that you start solids until at least 6 months. I teach this stuff to parents for a living, and even I don't go around telling friends what they should and should not do with their children even when they do something that is against all advice. Unless they ask for my opinion, I keep it to myself. Tell her next time that you are getting your advice from the American Academy of Pediatrics who suggest breastmilk and/or formula only for the first 6 months. This is coming from very respected pediatcians and a lot of research behind it.
2007-08-26 04:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Melissa 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's as simple as saying do what you want with your child, but this is my child and I will raise them how I see fit! Don't let people get away with that. I know a lot of moms think they are being helpful, but you have to let them know that this is your child. I would be pissed about her actually giving your child food after you told her that you did not want to. That would be grounds for me to tell that person to get out of my house!!! I have 4 kids and yes, I started giving them baby cereal and stuff at around 4 months, but they are my kids and that is my choice. Do what you feel is best for your kids and do not let poeple do things to your children that you do not want them to, even if you have to be rude about it, because in my opinion what she did was very very rude!
2007-08-26 04:45:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you had to deal with that situation. Sadly, it won;t get any better as the child grows. My son is 2 1/2 and we're potty training. I'm getting all sorts of advice on the best way. But I stick to my statement, and it's something you may consider saying. "What works for your family is great, but this is what works best for MY family". I say this often about our sleeping issues, eating issues, potty training, etc.
Unsolicited advice is also best to let go in one ear and out through the other. Being the better person and acknowledging someone's suggestion is polite in regard to 'conversation etiquette'. But don't feel like you need to defend your child-rearing practices. It sounds like you are doing just fine!
Stick to you guns and practice "What works for you is great, but this works BEST for MY family".
Good luck!
2007-08-26 04:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by Sharon F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I always just told people that I know my children best and each child is different and there is not just one way to raise, feed, discipline or handle a child. I just said "My baby is happy and healthy with the way I am doing things and I feel very comfortable with my decisions, and I would like you to respect that, just as I respect the decisions you've made concerning your child."
2007-08-26 04:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore them, just like you did. If your breastfeeding your baby, you don't need the stress that someone like that can put upon you. (Not good for the baby) So just smile and let them tell you all about it. Don''t ask questions. Tell them your belief and change the subject. Ignore any references to that conversation. And then, don't spend time with that person.
2007-08-26 04:43:30 · answer #8 · answered by Funny Girl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
what was she thinking giving apples to a 4 month old?
I would definately not be around her anymore.
I'd tell whoever that you are raising her based on your doc's advice. Period. Then ignore any other comments.
2007-08-26 04:45:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you handled the best you could! Some people just don't get the message period! I think your doing the best you can do, stay away from them. They obviously think their way is the ONLY way.
2007-08-26 04:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by cartoon_lady 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋