I read or heard somewhere that only the guy should be congratulated, probably cuz he got the best of the deal :-)
The lady should be told that its wonderful, what a nice ring, etc.
Anyone else heard something like that?
Two friends of mine are getting engaged shortly and I probably will see them seperately....
2007-08-26 04:28:10 · 13 answers · asked by Movinonup 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Hi Movinonup! Yes, it is proper to congratulate both parties. I have never heard anything about doing it separately or in a different fashion.
When I got married, I never took offense to anyone telling me congratulations. I would say go for it.
Good luck with it! Let me know how it goes.
2007-08-26 07:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by Slipped Halo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but it sure sounds like you're saying to the guy
"Wow, what a lucky person you are...I am really happy for you that you have found happiness, someone to actually love you, someone to take care of you, share with you, give her whole life to you."
and you're saying to the woman
"That's nice, so how was the rest of your day? Anything new?"
or
"You sure you want to do this."
or
"Ok, it was expected that a woman would find a man, fall in love have his babies, make his house, do his laundry...so why should we congratulate you that you went ahead and did just what was expected of you?"
(I am not saying that is what you are saying, I am saying that is what stands to be heard.)
PHEW---anyway you look at it, the message you are giving them, especially when he says to her "Met _____ today, They congratulated me on our engagement."
and she says
"Hmmm, they didn't congratulate me. Wonder why that happened."
Yep, I can see where etiquette stands to cause a fight or lose you two friends, potentially.
I hope you see my point. My feelings are--GO WITH YOUR INSTINCTS...one way, you can't be wrong, and if you have not heard it that way, your friends probably have not either.. If you say congratulations to her, all you did was upset Miss Manners, you did not upset any friends.
2007-08-26 04:43:10 · answer #2 · answered by sirburd 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Ladyleo. You are congratulating the man on the "acceptance" of his proposal and you are giving your best thoughts and wishes to the future bride. I also am a wedding planner/caterer.
2007-08-26 05:21:33 · answer #3 · answered by betternher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
According to a recent Miss Manners column, you congratulate the gentleman and tell the lady, "I'm so happy for you!"
2007-08-26 04:38:23 · answer #4 · answered by VeggieTart -- Let's Go Caps! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Congratulate only the man! (for success)
Give best wishes to the girl for happiness because she deserves it. (While she still weighs less than a Buick)
2007-08-26 05:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You congratulate the man and tell the woman how happy you are her.
2007-08-26 04:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by ladyleo817 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of the stuff you said concerning your question.
We have ALWAYS congratulated both.
2007-08-26 04:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by offthemenu 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
both not just one person thats why its a couple same to when a child is born you congratulte the parents both of them not the mum coz she is the one who went into labour hahaha
2007-08-26 04:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by jollybear 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you should definitely congratulate both.
2007-08-26 04:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-08-26 17:21:24 · answer #10 · answered by Christian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋