Are the actions of my just-turned-3 year old normal? Or do I have a major problem child on my hands?

Question

Just the name a few:
-tries to flush the puppy in the potty
-hits and bites animals and people
-screams at me
-acts like he is going to hit me
-pushes his 10 mth old brother around by the head
-dumps 1/2 gallon of milk in the toliet
-pours syrup on the carpet
-moves his head back and forth really fast making loud obnoxious noises
-does NOT listen
-destructive of his toys (breaks them)
-stuffs things into his brothers mouth
-throws things (example: my cell phone at the deli lady, his shoes in the fountain at the zoo...)

I am constantly around him. I don't know what to do! I am about to lose my mind! It isn't like he does one of these things each day. It's usually back to back all day long. In the first 15 minutes after we woke up today he smashed his brothers fingers in a door, pulled over the pack and play to let his brother out, locked me out when I took the puppy potty, and then while I was trying to get in, he got into the fridge to help himself.
I NEED HELP!

Answer 1

oh my goodness. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. You definately have a problem on your hands. First let me say that you a certain point he is just acting like a typical 3 year old. BUT he is getting away with everything, therefore he is doing it again. You need to start disciplining him. Take things away from him, make him sit in the corner, have time out, don't let him go to the park, or other fun outings, that type of thing. Show him that his bad behavior is going to get him in trouble and he is going to lose the things that he likes.

Maybe you should consider some time of family couseling as well to help you cope with the stress.

Best of luck to you, I wish you the best! I hope this helps you!

Answer 2

I've heard worse, don't worry! But you do have a problem that's for sure. Give him things to keep him occupied and praise him for a good job coloring or a good job playing with his brother. Chances are he's doing it for attention. They don't care how they get it, as long as they get it. It's probably only gotten worse since the new baby came along understandably. You're stretched a lot thinner and it's hard to keep an eye on them every single second while you've got housework and baby to take care of as well. Just do your best to give him activites that the two of you can enjoy together. He will appreciate the time with just the two of you. Take a step back and quit looking at him like he's a little monster (eaiser said than done, huh?). He's still your little boy and he just wants mommy's time. You can all do things together too. Take a walk to the park (excellent to help him burn off steam!) or read stories. I hope this helped!

By the way, don't listen to people who are going to criticize you. Mothering is not an easy job and not everything has a quick fix.

Answer 3

No this is not normal behavior for any child, but it happens. My youngest was trouble like that as well and I wish I would have done something about it then because when he went to school it was worse. He was supended 14 times in kindergarden alone! My sons problems were caused by taking the drug Zyrtec, but the problems were the same.

He is 9 now and in anger counselling and it has been working wonders, I only wish I would have started earlier so that we didn't have to go through as much as we did for as long as we did.

Don't listen to the people who are putting you down. Some of them probably don't even have kids and if so they have not had to deal with what you are going through now.

Get him some counselling, the sooner the better. It will be covered by health insurance. You want to get control of the situation now before it gets worse and before he harms his siblings or someone else. This is also an important time in learning social skills so you want to take care of it now so his social growth isn't stunted.

Good luck, I know exactly what you are going through and I know it isn't easy. I wish I would have listened to people when they told me to get some help for my son but I thought I should be able to handle it myself, that it would reflect badly on me as a parent if I had to get help. But I was very wrong. I should have gotten him some anger management help at a younger age because it really does help.

Answer 4

What a handful you have on your hands......I'm sorry for you!!

My first thought is, are there anger issues with any one else in the household. Are you or your husband/boyfriend, (you didn't mention) displaying or showing anger and he is copying that behavior.

He may need more attention from you. He is probably using this bad behavior to get your attention. As the "experts" say, negative attention is better than no attention. He is probably jealous of the baby and not feeling included in the family enough. You can try to punish the negative behavior, time outs and such...try REALLY hard to find positive behavior and reward that like crazy. Also, maybe, if he is old enough, have him help with the care of the baby.

Ask him to help get a diaper, the wipes, maybe to get clothes, so that he is the big helper......accomplishing. Not the big frustration, destroying things. I really hope you can work this out, you have a long battle on your hands!!

Best of luck to you and good luck keeping your patience.

Answer 5

i see already you will get a lot of different responses to this question....
can i share some personal story? my older brother[ by 13 mo]] was like this.,,,, all my childhood he was mean and destructive.. and as we got older it olnly escalated.... to the point that at ten yrs old he was sneaking out and stealing things, and doing a lot of other destructive damage to peoples property.. once he even stole a car at age 12 and crashed it...
guess who had to pay for it?? my parents... and it was the last straw..

they had for years gotten him counseling and therapy,, this was before add, and all the kid meds that have become so popular... so our family suffered,, my parents did everything they could... the best solution for my brother was to be in a boys home with strict rules.. and activities... and if they break rules they lose priviladges,, and if they do good, then they earn extra points to get things like days out, or other fun activiteys...

now i know this is one extreme of the spectrum... you are doning your best to be a good parent,,one thing i would suggest is a structured firm time/ out when he does these things...
also some behavior therapy may help//


one other bit of personal experience,, my brothers 2 sons, they are being raised now in onother state by his ex,, and they have not been raised with my brother.. and the older one is having the same type of problems,, with therapy on a regular basis, sport activitys every other day of the week, year round.. and some mild meds, he is still crazy but not nearly as bad as my brother was.....

Answer 6

You have to watch the Nanny exhibit! You will study what you're doing fallacious and methods to proper it! You can't permit your little one to hit you, slam doorways and throw a have compatibility! When you stroll clear of him at institution, why do you flip round? Walk out the door, and allow him run external when you. Then you'll placed him within the auto and punish him while you get residence. Explain why you're placing him in day out and go away him there for three minutes. If he will get up, placed him again and hold doing it until he remains the complete three minutes. Then make him express regret for his habits and deliver him a hug. Don't allow him up, til you get the sorry. If he throws a have compatibility, placed him in day out once more. You must be steady with it. Watch the exhibit, you can be surprised at how good their ways paintings and you'll study methods to get your little fella below manipulate. Better do it ASAP as it is going to most effective get more difficult for you and him the longer you allow it move!

Answer 7

You have a problem. I thought I had a problem with my 3 yo, he's not even close to doing what your son does. All I can say is get professional help and good luck.

Answer 8

NO this is not normal behavior. You need to be consistent, firm, and use consequences and rewards with him. He is not just hurting himself, but other people and animals.

Talk to your pediatrician and get some help.

Answer 9

sounds more like a neglectful mother. most of that can be prevented, but you have to get your head out of your butt and watch him and punish him

the food products being wasted is your lazy parenting, get off your butt and watch your kid
also tell him no and put him in time out hwn he harms his brother

the problem is you not him a little punishment and a mother who follows him and watches him would do him wonders

Answer 10

you have a problem. you need to get counseling to learn how to help him get better. call Dr. Phil.