im trying to get custody of my unborn child?

Question

im 19 and the sister of the girl idated back in jan-feb called me about 2 weeks ago saying my ex gf is 30-31 weeks pregnant and its my child!! me and the mother are not on speaking terms anymore and she was going to give the child up for adoption and her mom was going to adopt it but i refused to sign over rights!!! now she wants to fight custody with me!! im planning on getting a paternity test done as soon as the child is born! i just need as melp as i can!!!the mother is a 16 year old high school dropout!! they have had cps at there house before i think twice!! they have 8 people living in there house which is kinda small and 1 of which is 2 months old and there on welfare!!! i live with my mom and brother in a 3 bedroom house and i already graduated and work a good job making 17 dollars an hour never had any police trouble minus traffic tickets and have access to a very depandable vehicle in which they do not!!! how good of a chance do i ggot to get physical custody???

by the way i didnt leave her when i found out i havnt been with her since febuary and already have a new gf and i found out 2 weeks ago

Answer 1

Of course you have a chance at getting custody of that child, but if I were you, i would watch your back and your every move. I don't know what state you are in but here in NY, a lot of times the child will go to the mother before the father, even if the father is a better home. I don't know why, I don't make the rules, and I wish it could be different.

First, you need to start proceedings immediately, before she does anything to lessen your chances of getting that baby.

Second, YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE IT IS YOURS! I know you have plans for a paternity test, but they can be very expensive, so don't hesitate, even when you see how much they can cost. You need to have it done!

Third, like I said before, make sure you are on your best behavior, just to be on the safe side. In court, anything can be twisted around in an effort to make you look bad.

Fourth, start thinking about who you can use as a character witness in court. The court may want to hear from a few people close to you that your are capable of taking in this baby. So, yes, you live with your mom and brother, that is great....but how about maybe a teacher from school, or your boss. Someone who isn't related to you and isn't going to be biased, but someone that you have spent some time with and they can account for your attitude, your maturity level, and how responsible you are.

And finally, if you get custody of that baby, BE A GOOD FATHER!!! Give that child everything that you can possibly give.

Best of LUCK to you!!!

Answer 2

Get yourself a lawyer. That's the best and first step. It sounds like you've already got a really good scenario for yourself. Let the facts speak for themselves. A good lawyer will help you present your case appropriately.
Can I add in though? Make sure you know for a fact that she's a terrible mother before you completely take her child away. Atleast consider giving her visitation. I was once young and immature as well. It took having my first baby to make me turn my life around. It's sad that it has to happen that way. But you would be surprised what a person can do when they odds are against them. All I'm saying is I just can't imagine not being able to have my children with me or not being able to see them at all. I would hate for someone to have to go through that pain if it wasn't necessary. Keep in mind, pregnant women are very hormonal and in the heat of the moment will say things that they don't necessarily mean. I know I've done it. I've made my fiance so mad at some points and also feel about 2 inches tall at others. But in the end he knew I didn't mean to be such a b*tch. I was just pregnant! My point is this: Don't be so quick to solve this matter right away. What seems like the answer right now might not be the right answer when the baby comes. See how they situation plays out after she has the baby and then decide if you want to get full custody or not. Good luck and congratulations! If it's your baby, you're about to be a daddy! That's the best thing in the whole world that you can be(next to being a mommy of course!).

Answer 3

My husband went through something similar with his daughter. The good news is that he won. You need to make sure you are living your life as good as you possibly can. Do not give anyone any reason to think you would be an unfit parent. Come up with a plan, like who will watch the child if you are working. Maybe buy baby things, so the baby has everything it needs with you, just make sure you keep receipts. The courts seem to favor the mom no matter what, which I think is completely unfair. Keep your eyes and ears open any proof you have she is an unfit mother will help your case. Just make sure it is proof and not something the courts will see as you bad mouthing the mother of your child. Make sure you get that paternity test and be prepared for either answer. Good Luck!!!!!!

Answer 4

ok you really shouldn't say nasty things about people. Reguardless of how they live. Second...if the paternity test comes back in your favor, then all you need to do is get a lawyer and file for custody. You will however have to have some kind of relationship with the mother of your child. Because even if you do get full custody, then that means that the mother will get visits with your son/daughter. By law, you can't keep a child from his/her parents,unless it is court ordered, or one of the parents has signed over parental rights.
GOOD LUCK!!!!

Answer 5

you really dont have any chance unless your willing to go to jail. She is 16 you are 19 and there is no way in hell your gonna get custody over that baby , let me explain it is illegal to have sex with someone who is underage consensual or not . the mother can easily call the police and tell them the situation and you will be arrested fined and be listed as a sex offender. It is considerd by legal terms having sex with a child regarless her age therfore you wont be allowed around children when you get out of prison, you wont be able to find work as easily due to a felony charge for statutory rape, your best bet is to get the test, give custody to the girls mother but be as nice as possible then ask if you can visit watch the baby and finacially help with any thing the baby needs to avoid child support bacause we all know that baby might not ever see a dime of that money cause she has the say in where it goes ,so she might get her self some new crap or something .

Answer 6

Why on Gods earth did you have a sprint one with such an ignorant, infantile twit? besides there is not any way he can get custody, the only way a new child toddler would be taken faraway from you is that if your mentaly sick, have drug and alcohol themes, have anger themes i mean severe anger themes the place you wind up smashing the full residing house and so on, judging from what youve instructed me, the toddler would be extra extra secure with you than him! He beverages and so on so thats not a sturdy start up, your the only thats offered each and every thing for the toddler grew to become into has this lazy bugger completed? not something so tell him to maintain on dreaming because of the fact he will on no account get custody

Answer 7

If you are her parent and the only one who wants the baby you have a very good chance of getting custody. Hell, if she wanted to keep the baby, nobody would have even said boo to her. It's harder for the dads, although it really isn't fair.
Talk to a lawyer immeadiately. Or if you can't afford one, call the local division of family services. Talk to a counselor who can best advise you on how to go from here. One of the things you need to worry about is the paternity test.
(Just in case it comes back negative, be prepared).

Answer 8

Unfortunately only the courts can decide. It sounds to me like you would provide a much more stable environment for the child, and since she was trying to put the baby up for adoption this may increase your odds.

I don't think you are at any risk of being prosecuted for statutory rape. It's true that she was a minor and you were a legal adult at the time you had sex...but if you actually look into your state's laws (as these vary from state to state) you will find there has to be a certian number of years between the two parties' ages. http://www.cga.ct.gov/2003/olrdata/jud/rpt/2003-R-0376.htm
Good Luck.

Answer 9

You might need to get a lawyer. Depending on where you live the state usually favors the mother. But she doesn't have a job or is leagally an adult so it really is hard to say.

What in the world were you thinking when you were banging a 16 year old?


I don't know what anastassia is talking about it sounds like you didn't even know that she was pregnant.

Answer 10

You have the right to get custody of your child.. They can see that the mom wanted to put the baby up for adoption and you didn;t sign those papers that you wanted the baby. She would be able to get full custody and take your right ways. She would have to prove that you are unfit father and you are not. The judge might see her unfit mother and she would lose the custody you get the baby. Best thing you can do is get a lawyer. They would help you alot.. Good Luck!!