Is it tacky to just serve cake at a reception?

Question

I made a question last night, but some girl said it's tacky.

I just wanted a simple, inexpensive wedding. We are not changing plans! Invites are made already! We've just got 26 days left! We are having the wedding in a nice looking church. It's smaller, but it's decorated very beautifully. It's just enough seating for the amount we're inviting. The church has a room where they have parties and things. The room is not very large. There will be no sit-down reception. There's not enough room. If anything we can line chairs along the walls and have enough room with food down the middle on a large table.

Both sides are making a feud over catering. My mom keeps getting her feelings hurt over it cause she wants to do it for me, but the grooms family keeps trying to change her mind! I just said to do cake, ice cream, coffee (some people suggested punch, which is great, with water, sweet tea, and other drinks). Then there are other small things to serve as well.

My family and I have been to a birthday party for my great-grandmother when she turned 103. Her daughter threw the party and spent nearly $1000 on catering. The catering was TERRIBLE! Guests were throwing the food away and going to the coke machines and snack machines to get food! Then afterwards she had the nerve to ask everyone to help pay for the catering.

THAT'S TACKY! I'd much rather eat wedding cake than that garbage!

To Tricia:

I didn't want anyone paying because I don't want my parents going into debt and I don't want anyone else to feel like they have to either. And yes, my fiance and I can't afford anything, but we can still have a nice wedding and reception for very little money.

Also, his grandmother was going to pay closing costs on a house for my fiance's brother who isn't getting married for a year! My fiance and I could use the help NOW to get us into an apartment. It may sound selfish, but my feelings were hurt over it because nobody seemed to want to help us out with getting a place to live. It's all about this catering thing that doesn't matter to me.

Answer 1

there's nothing wrong with a cake and punch reception. Add some mints and nuts and it will be fine

Answer 2

It depends.

If you have only invited immediate family and are serving cake because it's the best you can do then I think you are not going to be considered tacky. Those people are close and will understand your situation. You can't do this at a peak mealtime though....you need to do it at a snack hour (2pm - 5pm) or late in the evening (after 7:30) like having a romantic "sunset dessert reception". It really also shouldn't last more than three hours. You should absolutely have chairs so guests can make themselves comfortable as well as a few tables so they can set down their drinks and plates while eating....

If you invited 300 people and are only serving cake it is going to look like you are gift-grabbing by bulking up the guest list instead of throwing a good quality party that you can afford.

I would consider having a sugar-free option as well for diabetics or people who are just watching their waistlines. Perhaps something like a sugar-free cheesecake made with Splenda can be rich but still healthy.

As far as the birthday party fiasco that was whoever planned it's bad mistake for not having a tasting first! You should always get tastings of any food, mockups of flowers, etc. before setting the final contract. Would you buy a car without checking under the hood first? Sorry but that person was just asking to get screwed.

Answer 3

So happy to see a bride who is not looking to have a huge fuss of a wedding or reception. Very rare in this showoff-y age! Congratulations! I've attended lots of wedding receptions where it is primarily cake, nuts, punch, and sometimes finger sandwiches. This sort of thing is very common throughout California, Oregon and Washington State. We're considerably more casual out here, and it's not unusual to have wedding receptions that are barbeques/picnics or even potlucks where each guest brings a dish to share.

What you are describing is a "tea" reception, and it is not tacky at all. A tea reception is a very elegant and traditional type of reception, but still simple and economical. In fact, I've gone to "tea" receptions that were fancier than a sit-down dinner kind of reception. So they can be as simple or as elaborate as you desire. Such a reception is good, especially if you don't want any alcohol at part of the festivities...and an increasing number of wedding receptions are going "dry" these days for a variety of reasons.

A "tea" reception is perfect following an afternoon wedding, and good for gardens or smaller venues like you described. You'll want to make sure you have the best cake available since the cake is the "star" of such a reception. I would also recommend having a designated "pourer" so that things run smoothly. The church may even have the fancier silver sugar bowls, tablecloths and what not...you can always ask...or rent some for a reasonable price.

BTW It's ok to serve coffee at a "tea" reception, too.

Answer 4

Hi again. I answered last night and still have the same thought. NO, it is NOT at all tacky. Contrary, I give you credit for being thrifty and not caving in to the wedding industry "have to have this and have to have that" buying frenzy.

THE ONLY THING....your invites are out already. You don't say what TIME your wedding/reception is. You only have a small element of time where this would work.
If the reception would START anywhere from 2-4 p.m., OR, if it's later at night - say 7:30 ish, then it would be fine. If it's at any other time, then you really NEED to feed your guests. If your reception is during dinner time (anywhere from 5-7 p.m.), or during the lunch time (11-1), then etiquette states that you need to feed people.

I think it totally sounds nice. I would put a few chairs around for anyone elderly. Otherwise, people can stand. This will only work, though, if the time element is correct. If not, then you will have to let your mom or the grooms family cater it.....but you don't want lots of food where people need to use forks and knives if there is not going to be tables. You would need to do finger type foods - small sandwiches, wraps, veggies, other things. Good luck!

Answer 5

No, it's not tacky. What you are doing is called a "calling reception" and is well founded and quite conventional. The reason that receptions with meals and family dinners began in the first place was because many people had family and guests that were travelling from far away and might have no place to stay or get a meal before heading home again. Nowadays with flights, motels and fast food restaurants, though meals at receptions and family dinners have become "traditional" they are not really necessary and have turned into an unnecessary expense and just another way for people to try to outdo each other showing off and trying to be splashy.

If you want a simple wedding with a reception where people can simply drop in to wish you well, then having cake and simple refreshments is perfectly acceptable. Congratulations on having the good sense to know better than to spend a lot of money on a needless display!

Answer 6

Way to go! It is not only better for the budget but the more extravagant the wedding it seems the less comfortable people are.

We had a small wedding with the reception immediately afterwards. Just some punch, fingerfoods, coffee, and the cake of course.Since it was during the evening, it was the reason for the fingerfoods. We had it all easily under control. Everyone was helping themselves and enjoying the evening. My family members, who have had afternoon weddings, served only punch, coffee and cake.

The wedding and reception is not to create a show, it is to create a couple and introduce them as husband and wife.

Answer 7

The cake and punch or coffee reception is not only not tacky, but has a long tradition. It's usually not more than about two hours long, but that hardly makes it tacky.

Oh, and my father and I self-catered my wedding and nobody complained about the food. In fact, it was great.

Go ahead and have cake, coffee, and nibbles at your reception. Unless you're expecting people to stay for five or six hours and have dancing etc. it should be fine.

Just keep in mind that if your wedding is right around a meal time, and you expect people to stay for several hours, you'll need to add something fairly substantial to the menu. Do consider this point well, and then make the decision that fits your needs.

I think you're right to want to keep to a reasonable budget and to make things meaningful for you. Plenty of brides do just fine without a professional caterer, and you can, too.

Thank your soon-to-be-in-laws for their input, and let them know you've got everything under control. It's your wedding, what you're talking about doing isn't rude or failing to care for your guests, and it isn't breaking the bank, so it's entirely up to you. Let it be known that you've made up your mind. Firm but polite is the tone to take.

Then let your mother feed your guests in the way you see fit.

Answer 8

Most of the time the venue will serve the cake and punch at the reception. If you are having the reception at someones house then I would suggest a close friend or even an aunt to serve the cake and punch. Your sister and sister-in-law will be needed for the pictures.

Answer 9

I can't comment on the house thing butI think that cake and punch, and MAYBE just a few light finger foods would be fine, if the familys are insisting on helping (as long as you are not holding the wedding during lunch or dinner times) But I think that you are on the right track. You can always hold a better reception or party later.

Answer 10

There is nothing wrong with a cake and punch reception. It is fine.

I agree with your idea of putting some chairs along the walls. There will be some folks who need to sit.

In some areas of the country, cake and punch receptions are the norm. These receptions are of course shorter than receptions with sit-down dinners and dancing, but there is nothing wrong with either choice. Just have plenty of cake and plenty of punch. Make sure your guests are comfortable, and greet as many of them as you can.

Good luck to you, and best wishes for a beautiful wedding.

Answer 11

If your wedding is in the middle of the day, cake will be perfect! You could have a few small tables with chairs for the elderly, and everyone else can stand.
Maybe your mom can cater a "day-after brunch" the next day, this is becoming more common to do, and a general invite to whoever wants to come by her house.
Let it be what you and your fiance want.