question bout custity?

Question

let me just say that i wanna live with my dad and at this moment i live with my mom(well she has full custity but i acually live with my grandma) and they know that i want to live with my dad but they wont let me in fact they wont even let me spend the night with him! So dad talked to his layer to see what he could do bout goin to court to get full coustity and he said that they best dad could get was half custity?? Is that true because im 15 and live in IL and i thought that i could pick the parent that i choose to live with!? So could someone help me plz!!!!

Answer 1

Custody is a very serious issue and the family court weighs many issues when determining who has custodial rights.

The court will look at the:

Lifestyle
Financial responsibility
Availability
Past behavior
Criminal conduct
etc of both parents and make a determination as to who would provide the best environment for your development.

So, if your father is a stable man, who has proven that he can afford to maintain you, has shown a desire to insure your positive development (not a drug user or have been charged with abuse in the past), has adequate accommodation (you will have your own bedroom), has work hours that would allow him to care for you (not leave you home alone for long hours), doesn’t have a criminal past, and tells the court that he wants to look after you, there shouldn't be a problem with being awarded "joint" custody.

Joint custody generally means that you stay with one parent on some days and the other parent on the remaining days. Which days you stay were generally depends on your schooling and the work schedules of the parents.

The one issue that stands out though is that your Mom won't let you spend the night at Dad's home. Why is that? If you father was abusive or cheated on your Mom, she has good reason to want to protect you. While you may not want to hear this, Mom's and daughters often have friction and it isn't uncommon for daughters to side with Dad, even if Dad was not a great father/husband. While your Mom may be withholding access to you in order to hurt your father, she may also be aware of issues that make it unsafe for you to live with him. Give your Mom the benefit of the doubt here.

At 15, the courts will be interested in finding out with whom you would rather live. However, teens often choose the non-residential parent because they feel that the strict rules of their current household would be lessened. If Dad is great fun for the few hours that you see him on the weekend, then surely he will be great fun all the time if you can move in. The fact is though that Dad may well start acting like a parent again rather than a "best friend" when he is responsible for you 24/7.

If your Dad is truly interested in joint custody, he should contact his lawyer. But be aware, joint custody still doesn’t mean that you get to live with him every day. Try and talk to your Mom (or Grandma) about spending one night a week at Dad’s house. See how that goes.

Best wishes

Answer 2

do not know the laws in your state. but in georgia it is 14 that you can decidie. But even though you wish to live with your father and live with your grandma and your mom has full Custody, there must be a reason for it.
You could ask you dad to speak to his attorney and that way he could explain the WHOLE situation to you in a way that you would understand. You can also file an affidavit with your dads attorney if you all go back to court stating that you wish to live with your father full time and not your grandma/mother.
But that is a very hurtful thing to do, I do not know what your situation is. but you realy need to think it over first and ask maybe that your dad and mom go to mediation first before court. A medator is a person who listens to both sides and then makes his/her best recomendation to the two of them with thier attorneys in the room as well. If neither one of them can agree on anything on whats in the best interest of you then you go to court and you get to speak to the judge. Now remember sometimes the judge will allow you to speak to him in his chambers/office with out your parents listening, and then thier can be some judges who make you go on the stand and and he ask you question in front of him. Im sure that both of your parents love you very much and this is a very hard time for everyone. Before you make any permanant decissions ask to speak with a mediator or a child advocate, to help you with this and you can even speak to your councelor at school or at your church. Good Luck

Answer 3

You obviously have a computer or access to one so try looking up the rules/laws/guidelines on custody rights in your state.I personally think at your age you should have a voice and be able to live with which ever parent you want.good Luck 1

Answer 4

If your dad applies for custody, he may have to have joint custody, but at the time of the hearing you should be asked with which parent you want to live, if there are no reasons (such as drugs, unfit parent, etc) why you shouldn't live with your father, the judge will take your request to live with your father into consideration.

Answer 5

A 15 yo should know how to use spell check.
A court will normally do "whatever is in the best interest of the child", but it MUST go through court to be legal.

Answer 6

It would make a difference if during the custody hearings, the judge would ask you. I don't know if your father's lawyer can get this to happen, but maybe you can ask them to try. Good luck!

Answer 7

have you tried to talk to the judge or lawyers yourself in most states you do have a choice when you are 13 years old maybe talk with them and see what your rights are

Answer 8

time to concentrate on your school work as this is where your future lies not worry about which parent you live with. In a few years time you will be working and not worrying about your parents problems. So please more school work .