Dating/Just Ended with a Jehovahs Witness, Advice please?

Question

Well me and this girl have been dating since September of last year. She told me about her religion, being a JW, which was really strict on dating. Things went well, and we fell in love with each other more and more everyday. Until recently shes just now telling me that she wants to break up because her religion. She says she still loves me, but she doesnt want the title of Girlfriend. I am understandable about her religion, but I do not see why she waited all this time(about a year) to tell me it, when she could have easily done it back then. I love her with all I have, and shes my world, and she used to confess her undying love for me as I did for her, but now she wants us ended, just like that. She wants me to convert myself to a Jehovahs Witness just so we can have a "positive" future. I dont feel like I need to change that topic for anyone, but I would for her, but I dont know what to do right now. I wish she understood how much I felt for her, but obviously my love isnt enough.

Thank you everyone for your help, it means alot, =].

And yes I realize I shouldnt change my faith for anyone but myself. Thanks again Yahoo for being good people =DD

Answer 1

With Prayer and perseverance,you can maybe win your girl over to Christ. You have to become a Man of God first....
Are You A Christian? If so, man up! Your girl is in danger of losing her salvation, and you can help. Go Today> Now and Get all the literature on Cult behavior especially the Jehovah's Witnesses.

I was a Witness for 22 years..the Book that revealed the falsehood and danger to me is "Kingdom Of the Cults" by Walter Martin.

You can save her. You can bring her to Christ..Think of how wonderful yuor relationship would be if you were together worshiping god in the right way?!

http://waltermartin.org
http://freeminds.org
http://towerwatch.com
Here is a little help to get you started...e mail me if yo need to, and PRAY, like you never have in your life, for god to direct you...God Bless, and sorry for the Man Up thing, but If I was your mom, I would have smacked you upside the head with a sock! LOL

Answer 2

DON'T DO IT. Because she's gonna break up for another reason later on down the line. It could be because her family doesn't accept you or because you don't have a certain status. FYI, status takes years to build in the JW organization. For example, I told one of my ex-gfs I never wanted to be a "Circuit Overseer" which is kinda like a bishop in the catholic church, and I told her I had no desire to be a "Pioneer" again which is someone who spends 70 hours each month preaching door to door out in public. This desire to not be a certain "status" conflicted with her desire for prominence in the organization, so she bailed. Also, even though I was a witness for 20 years and I had some titles (Bethelite, Ministerial Servant, Former Pioneer), her family decided I wasn't good enough because I wasn't an "Elder", and they all wanted and "Elder" for this chick. Plus there were some racial issues. Her family was white, and I'm Mexican.

If you join the religion, join it because YOU want to join it. Don't join it for some chick that will flip on you later down the line. You sound young, so I'm assuming this girl is too. I guarantee you she's gonna do this same type of thing again before she turns 25.

Answer 3

She may have left it this long because she thought that you might convert once you and her were serious? You can't just change your faith because someone wants you to, though. I know that your girlfriend will be feeling pressured, probably by her beliefs and by others in her faith group, and I'm sure she feels that she has to do this. But if you convert just to stay with her, it isn't a healthy basis for a relationship. Being a JV isn't just a title, it will affect your whole way of life. If she doesn't feel she can be with someone who isn't a JV, I'd say you'll just have to try to move on.

Answer 4

There is no universal rule (one size fits all). We all have different characteristics. What you need to bear in mind more than anything else is how YOU respond to various things in life. I'd expect you know yourself pretty well by now yeah? :P For some people, they have that burning desire to soak up more information and this is like a hobby to them. Some of them can concentrate on certain subjects and keep other (spiritual) matters at the forefront of their mind. As for others, they tend to be one track minded. They get obsessive and addicted easily. Their thinking can be "all or nothing". For these ones they could potentially get distracted by secular things and choose them over spiritual pursuits. Due to experience/personality they find it hard to keep things in their place.

Answer 5

Well I am a Witness. Probably the reason it took her so long to say what she said, is she is having an internal conflict between you and her faith in the Bible. I think you should learn about her beliefs, if you wish. Then decide if it is for you. Then make it clear, if it is a case of you as a Witness, or not at all, and you aren't willing to be a Witness, then she needs to decide, and you to need to move on.

Hope things work out. Please go in with of course some skepticism, but also objectively. Realise if she believes this, and is in your opinion pretty smart/level headed, there might be something to it.

Answer 6

I was once a JW but left because my religion wouldn't accept my boyfriend and I would never ask him to convert to my religion (he never asked me to convert to his, so why would I do that to him). Unfortunately, it seems that your ex-girlfriend is very spiritual and really likes her religion. This will be really hard for you since it only leaves you 2 choices:
1. convert and hope that your love will last to have a "positive" future together.
2. forget about her and find someone that loves YOU the way you are with your beliefs and everything.
I guess JW were right about me, I loved him more than I loved "God."

Answer 7

This is an interesting question, primarily because so many current Jehovah's Witnesses originally studied with the religion with ulterior motives.

(Jeremiah 20:7) You have fooled me, O Jehovah, so that I was fooled. You used your strength against me, so that you prevailed.


Perhaps the largest single group of these is formerly unbelieving spouses. Time and again, a reasonable husband quietly tolerates his wife's newfound association with Jehovah's Witnesses until it becomes clear that this is no passing distraction; whereupon the intelligent, sophisticated husband takes it upon himself to "expose" what he condescendingly assumes is a series of naive and unscriptural teachings. If he is a fair-minded person, the passing weeks or months of study will bring surprise after surprise, and a growing respect for the bible scholarship of Jehovah's Witnesses.

(1 Corinthians 1:20) Where is the wise man? Where the scribe? Where the debater of this system of things? Did not God make the wisdom of the world foolish?


Admittedly, not all unbelieving spouses who study with Witnesses quickly become Jehovah's Witnesses themselves. But an extraordinary number who study openmindedly do 'bear fruit and produce'.

(Matthew 13:3-23) [Jesus] told them many things by illustrations, saying: “Look! A sower went out to sow; and as he was sowing, some seeds fell ...upon the fine soil and they began to yield fruit... As for the one sown upon the fine soil, this is the one hearing the word and getting the sense of it, who really does bear fruit and produces


In general, each Jehovah's Witness is expected to perform a conscientious personal ministry. An individual Witness tries to make his efforts meaningful, but understands that the important thing is his willingness and effort rather than any specific accomplishment. A householder should feel free to communicate his precise level of interest to his Witness teacher, and the Witness teacher will likely work within that interest level in the future. For some, that will include rides to meetings at the Kingdom Hall; for others, it will include a regular weekly sit-down bible study from a bible-based publication; still a third might simply be on a magazine route and spend a few minutes each month to discuss a bible topic for five or ten minutes. Even if a person wishes to merely continue as a person of good will, Jehovah's Witnesses are happy to remain friends and merely check in once every few months.

If a householder realizes he is wholy uninterested, or comes to regret having schemed to waste the time of a Witness minister, it might be best for that householder to thank the Witness minister and allow him to now redirect his energies. The typical Witness will be glad to have had the opportunity to share and explain his faith, but will appreciate such an expression of honesty.

(Hebrews 13:15) Let us always offer to God a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips which make public declaration to his name.

Preaching
http://watchtower.org/e/jt/index.htm?article=article_04.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?article=article_15.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/lmn/index.htm?article=article_11.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/ti/index.htm?article=article_09.htm

Answer 8

Like it was mentioned JW is not a title like the majority claiming godly devotion. Its a way of life. If your not willing to change your spiritual mentality. In my experience the best thing to do is walk away....or analyze this religon by yourself and with no tied connection with another person. Convince yourself. Thats it.

Answer 9

Someone who really loves you wouldn't want you to join a religious sect just to be with them! My mom threatened my dad with leaving him and taking all 3 kids with her if he didn't become one of JW. He became baptized but later told me he regretted it.

Answer 10

Don't take it personal. Try a meeting or two then if you like it proceed but don't change that part of you for anybody but you.