I hate my boyfriends brothers. I dont like when he hangs out with them but I know that since they are family,?

Question

they are always going to be there. They dont respect me or our relationship at all.
They once brought their friend over and some girl w/him to hang out and drink. When my bf was drunk she came on to him and kissed him. My bf pushed her off but it really hurt me and they never even apologized for bringing the $lut over, nor did they care. Since then I have felt that I cant trust him when he is w/them.
I like drinking but it seems like thats all they do. His twin has no job and his older brother is in debt and is a user. They really need to learn to grow up. He's starting to make friends with their friends and its really annoying because they are either immature or think that they are bad a$$. I dont want my bf to start acting like them.
They live an hour away so I always get upset when he goes to visit them because i have no idea what their doing and its hard to trust my bf with them when they are all drunk. I dont no what to do. he loves them but i hate them. Any advice will help!

Thanks for all the answers. I admit that I may have some trust issues. But I do have some things to clear up. First of all, I dont want another boyfriend. I've been with him for almost 2 years and I would never change that. He truly makes me happy and no one else could even compare. I do love him enough to deal with his brothers. After all, I have been dealing with them for over a year now. Normally I am fine and even nice about it when he visits them because I know it makes him happy. But it seems like every time he gets the weekend off he goes there. Its like he is missing out w/them if he doesnt go. I just wish he didnt go every time he had a weekend off. I agree that he shouldnt have even let that kiss happen, but he WAS really drunk. I believe him though because he could have not told me anything and I would have never known. He was so mad that it had happened and how upset it made me that he kicked all of them out at 3 in the morning with no place to go. So ya, I do believe him

Answer 1

I can't stand my boyfriend's brother either, though the circumstances are a bit different.

Firstly, you're going to have to accept the fact that your boyfriend is going to be around his brothers, and expect to come second to them. Blood is thicker than water.

However, make it known to your boyfriend that you don't like the way his brothers drink and that it makes you feel uncomfortable when he drinks with them. It's very important not to tell your boyfriend that you hate his brothers, though. This is one of those situations where blatant honesty could do a lot more harm than good.

Also, it sounds like your boyfriend is an okay guy, but you're worried that he will turn into his brothers. Try investing just a tad bit more trust in him. After all, he did push that girl off of him, didn't he?

Answer 2

This is sort of a "rock and a hard place" situation. On one hand you seem to be looking out for his best interest, but on the other you can't tell him that he can't see his family. You can't tell him what to do at all actually. You pretty much have to decide if you love him enough to deal with it because this is the sort of thing he needs to figure out on his own. If you try to come between him and his family, you are going to be labeled the villain and you are the one who is gonna end up out on your a$$ sorta speak. So the question you should be asking is, Can you deal with it? Also, how do you know that your bf "pushed the $lut off?" Because, I'm sorry, but this girl would have been giving him major signs if she were planning to kiss him. Your bf shouldn't have even let her get that close to begin with.

Answer 3

there is an old saying" you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family". There is very little you can do about this, it sounds as if your boyfriend really cares about family values. I have two brothers myself and know that there is alot of one up manship going on. You know the old "i am better then you" routine. Which is were the drinking comes in. From your mail it seems that your the one that has the problem, and this may seem harse but you need to evalulate if you love this guy enough to like his family. people grow older and change all of the time. You say you don't trust your BF but when he was drunk he pushed off a girl who was kissing him. so he really likes you.

Sort yourself out!!

Answer 4

Now this is all meant to help you but if i sound tough well i have to be to explain!!
You have to accept his family & allow your b/f to visit them when he wants,
you have no right to say he can't visit them!!
You must trust him also (or it will end very quickly) he pushed that girl away so there you go, he loves you
but he wont if you get BOSSY
just let him go & you go also when he wants you to & act nice to them & then come home after all he is mostly with you
you cant be his mum & protect him he can protect himself that is the quickest way for a guy to stop caring for you
so be his lover & friend not his Mum
good luck :)

Answer 5

Apples don't fall far from the tree. You get the whole family when you start a serious relationship, and if the family is so screwed up you can bet your boyfriend has a lot of the same morals and issues they do, he's just a little better at hiding it, for now. Move on, you don't need this drama in your life...

Answer 6

don't waste your time being annoyed that he hangs out with them. you can't change his brothers, and you sure as hell can't change him (don't try). if he's got a good head on his shoulders, then ahve faith in him. let him know how you feel about his brothers, but also make it clear that you KNOW and understand that his family may always come first.
he can care about his family and love you-- it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Answer 7

If it bothers you so much then maybe you should get another boyfriend.....like it or not they ARE his family and that is something you can do nothing about....it sounds to me that you may have some trust issues. Also don't expect them to apologize for being who they are....after all she was their guest as were you.... the girl is the one that should apologize not them.

Answer 8

I think he needs to be "p***y" whipped! but family is family... you need to trust in your BF and talk to him with the way your feeling.. Relationships are hard. Communication is the key.... or try and find one thing about your BF's family that like... or make friends with their GF's and get the inside scoop... Good Luck ; )

Answer 9

i had a topic alot like that different than my mom hated him ive found out its extra advantageous to no longer sneak around.. they ought to have faith you and him in the previous they enable you carry out with him additionally you should take a seat down them down and communicate over with them and tell them which you're sixteen and additionally you should be waiting as much as now.. and grant to have them meet him and his parents (in the event that they havent) BE RESPECTFUL yet sneaking around would not make parents have faith you needless to say

Answer 10

don't carE! the matter is that sometimes in order to do sth we have to declare our belief and orders,if u want him outta the battle ,ok well all that u should do is to let ur boyfriend know that and ask him to go over his brother and talk to him also,remember u shouldn't go and talk to the brother urself,!!!! do this it will help u honeY!