Organising an engagement party, what's the etiquette?

Question

We are organising a Halloween costume engagement party. (I know it sounds weird, but we both love costume parties and October is coming soon) What is the etiquette in terms of who to invite, do we invite good friends who we cant afford to invite to the wedding, for example? We want it to be fun and Halloween like, but also a bit classy and engagement like. It will be an at home party.(we have lots of outdoor entertainment space) Does anyone have any good creative ideas. I have no idea what design to do for the invites either. (I am doing them myself, but have creators block)Most halloween style invites are too tacky and most engagements invites are too formal. Also, does anyone have any suggestions for what costumes we should wear (we dont have to dress as a couple nessesarily)

Answer 1

I am so gald I found your posting! We have been engaged since the end of May (the same day we closed on our house) and have been remodeling our bathroom for the past two months. Needless to say, we have not had anytime to celebrate our engagement OR our house. My parents advised me long ago that they will not provide an engagement party and we have decided to throw our own. Every year we throw major Halloween Parties and now that we own our own home, we plan on continuing the tradition bigger and better than ever. I guess some may find it tacky but we are throwing an Engagement/Housewarming/Halloween Party on Oct 27th. People we have talked to so far have been really excited about the theme and glad they are being invited to an engagement party that is going to be fun and not so stuffy.
The pourpose is really to have a good time and celebrate with all of our friends and family- all while enjoying our favorite Holiday.
We are thinking of being a dead bride and groom...and I (he doesn't know this yet) am thinking of getting our coustumes now and taking a pciture together in front of this spooky abandoned house in our town and using that picutre on the cover of invite.

We also may just do that for the invite and for the party, he will be the bride and I will be the groom...not sure yet- just throwing around ideas.

I am curious how to properly note on the invitation that we are not expecting gifts....any ideas?

Answer 2

The bride's family usually gives the engagement party. However, if they cannot afford it or are unable to, the groom's family may do so. The guest list is unlimited, but the majority of engagement parties are restricted to relatives and good friends. If you're planning on having a smaller, more intimate ceremony, the engagement party is the occasion to invite all the friends and family who are unable to be invited to the actual ceremony due to your financial restrictions. This gives them an opportunity to celebrate the occasion with you since they won't be at the ceremony. Also, this is not an occasion where you are to expect gifts, and it's important that the guests know that as well (if they don't already). If would be awkward for those who didn't bring gifts to see that someone else has. It's proper for you and your mother (if possible) to greet the guests at the door and be gracious hostesses. Once everyone is there, let loose and have a great time!

Because this is such a unique engagement party, I would suggest making your invitations by hand, rather than buying them. It will not only bring home the notion of the uniqueness of the party, but you'll be in control of how you want them to look and what you want them to say.

Answer 3

You can have a great Halloween costume party and invite anyone you like. Don't however make it an "Engagement" Halloween party. If you are only asking people to come so that they will bring you a gift, that is downright tacky. If you want an Engagement party, do that, but only invite people whom you will actually invite to the wedding. Otherwise, you will appear crude and vulgar, and lose friends.

If you have a Halloween party, Halloween invitations are fine. If you are having an "Engagement" party, you should design your own invitations (since you are using a computer, you can find lots of inexpensive software and stationery for the cards at your local office supply store).

If you want "elegant" halloween costumes, why not make Bride and groom outfits - they have long-sleeve t-shirts with a tuxedo print at some novelty shops, you can find little white veils and toga style white dresses everywhere. have fun.

Answer 4

I would not give a gift at an engagement party...getting engaged is special...but it still doesnt mean you'll make it to get married. when the couple is actually getting married is when I give a gift. I've never even known a couple who's had an engagement party.

Answer 5

First of all - others should be doing this. It is tacky to throw your own engagement party. this is the parents role usually.

Second - DON'T invite people you are not inviting to the wedding, that is like saying - we want to give you a chance to give us a gift, but you aren't important enough to come and share our big day. Just send these people an announcement after the wedding.