If you have a teenage son (17 & over). Do you still require him to follow the house rules, or do you just let him roam free (go wherever he wants, be home whenever he wants, etc). What if he was 18 and his girlfriend was 16 what would you do if he spends all his time with her when he's not working (at her house) and sometimes even sleeps over.
Yes, I am asking for myself. I have a good son (18 yrs old) and have only asked him to be home at a decent hour (by 2 am). He does work, but does not contribute to the household in any monetary way, does not go to school and does not do anything around the house unless asked specifically. I have three other (younger) children that idolize him and I do not want him setting this example for them.
Please give me your opinions.
2007-08-25 18:12:33 · 10 answers · asked by ♠LISA♠ 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is for me and my mom. My mom won't allow me to just stay home and do nothing rent free, but if I am going to school or working on a career for the future to where I can be independant she allows me to live home rent free. I don't have any chores, but I help out when specifically asked. I don't have a specific curfew, but I need to inform my mom when I will be back, but I don't think I have ever had a reason to stay out later than 1am. As for the girlfriend, my mom would not be too happy or approving of spending the night at her place. My mom likes me to spend time with the family. I am a good teen and got A's in school and never got in trouble or into drugs. I personally feel if he is not going to school and just working for the heck of it, then he should start paying some type of rent when he turns 19, but that is just me
2007-08-25 18:56:01 · answer #1 · answered by lilfry14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sons are 26 & 29 now. When they lived at home we had more rules when they were in school. After they graduated they were on their own but had to go by our rules if they wanted to live under our roof. They always had a job & were real hard workers & still are today. They need to contribute to jobs around the house even at adults. My husband & I clean up after ourselves so should they. They know they needed to call if they stayed out all night just so I don't worry. I couldn't be more proud of my sons today so we must have done something right. Holding a job is real important.
2007-08-29 09:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by underthemoon101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not in school, you have a job and rent to pay to ME. If you are in school, you will maintain a C average or face childish punishment for your childish attention to your education.
I've never had to punish my children for their grades. They are expected to be AVERAGE, and I delight in their EXCELLENCE. Each son was expected to know how to wash their own laundry and fold it by the time they were 13. They each started at 10. (at two they helped sort and transfer their clothes) Each week they had 2 chores that contributed to the household. I don't get paid for chores, why should they?! You get paid to do OTHER people's household chores (job).
I have found that when parents make their children's childhood's about fun, the child doesn't want to grow up, because it's about the child's WANTS. I've told my kids this "I'm not interested in your FUN. My job is to grow you into a productive adult. If you have some fun along the way, consider it a bonus."
2007-08-26 01:27:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Aloha....sounds like you run a boot camp. kids should be allowed to be kids and have fun!
18 is adult...
And he sleeps over at the 16 year old girlfriends house... her parents are where?
But to answer the original question...I am nearly 50 years old and I still follow house rules when home. If you don't like them, then get yourself in gear and make your own life! At home, follow house rules!
;)
2007-08-26 03:14:57 · answer #4 · answered by PattiAtk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've raised an unconscionable freeloader! If he isn't going to school, but is working...why no contribution to the household? And no chores? Were you just looking the other way for the last 18 years?
2007-08-26 01:21:03 · answer #5 · answered by A Canadian 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well when I was that age, as long as I lived with my parents i was under their rules. simple as that. If i didnt make it home by curfew, i was gonna get it. If i didnt like it, hey i was 18 and pefectly able to go get my own place. Of course he will not like it, but in my humble opinion (im a young guy 23 no kids) To be a good parent somtimes you wont be able to be the friend.
2007-08-26 01:23:15 · answer #6 · answered by Flying Spagetti Monster 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister is 20 and she lives with us. Mom makes her live by the house rules. All 3 of us look up to her but maybe we shouldnt by the way she acts with her boyfriend some times.
2007-08-26 01:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by baby face. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmmmmmmm.....well i dont think an 18 yr old should be staying over with a 16 yr. old shes underage......thats a problem of its own.....he should contribute to ur household he stays there...just because hes of age...hes still under ur roof....hes needs to get some values and morals....make him pay rent ...everybody else has too...if hes old enough to do as he pleases .....he can pay bills like everyone else........you dont learn anything by having everything handed to u...whats he gonna do when moms gone...???
2007-08-26 01:23:09 · answer #8 · answered by wildfire 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably had no father in his life. It is time to kick him out and let him hit rock bottom. You are just like the other woman that thought it was no big deal to have a decent father in the boys life. I can see by what you wrote you were lax with your standards.
If you dont kick him out and let him hit rock bottom he will never get better. Possibly in a few years he will turn himself around. He wont as long as he is living with you.
2007-08-26 01:24:31 · answer #9 · answered by eric l 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Boot his butt out. That is the only way he is going to learn to grow up and be a man. Stop babying your son.
2007-08-26 01:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋