How can someone rise above the social anxiety and go out and socialize with the rest of the world?

Question

I am literally being pulled apart. There is an inherent contradiction between my perception and reality. I often feel useless, worthless, and undesirable, so obviously I avoid being noticed as much as possible. Others (women) have taken notice of me, but I have always found a way to avoid or to reject them without them knowing they have been rejected. Obviously, I want the love and affection of women, but I am unable reciprocate on a mature level.

When social anxiety becomes avoidant personality disorder...

Answer 1

zoloft saved me ask your dr

Answer 2

"How can someone rise above the social anxiety and go out and socialize with the rest of the world?"

I have a couple of suggested approaches.
1) choose an activity where you and 1 or more people attend an event together. (baseball game, movie, concert, rodeo, where you have an assigned seat.) How much you interact with those around you is up to you, and if you want to stay silent, it's not a problem.

2) my grown kids have found it to be the most fun when a group of 3 or more all do something together (no couples). (Bonfire on the beach, visiting the park playground after dark, playing Frisbee, mini-golf, ordering a giant pizza or plate of fries.

3)Volunteering your time with kids or others. You are there to do a job, as are the other adults. Choose something without high pressure. (delivering magazines or pushing wheelchairs in a hospital, Church or scouts, youth sports team, library, an hour a week in an elementary school reading to students or other duty.

4) a solo sport. (Walking or jogging, marathons, kayaking, read the paper and find out where the local hiking group is going - join in, bicycling, rollerblading, play your guitar at a park)

The object is to choose an activity outside your house. As you become accustomed to having others circulate nearby, occasions will arise for a brief "hello" or "nice evening" or a bit longer conversation with someone nearby. Try to not "force" conversation, but let it flow naturally. Some days in the park all you will connect with will be the birds. Hey, that's OK. Other days you may stop to catch your breath and meet just the most interesting people to really enthuse you. Don't worry so much about the girls. Just be friendly to everyone. The right girl will notice you in time.
Really, just make it your daily goal to be outside one hour a day or more.

Answer 3

I've suffered from social anxiety myself for the longest time now I'm finally getting over it. This may not work for you but it has for me. I just get out there and deal with it. I have made a huge break threw without the help of any drugs/pills. And it feels great.

So first try getting out there more, put yourself into situations where you have to be social. If that doesn't work talk to a doctor.

Answer 4

In a similar boat. I was at a wedding celebration just today, and these two girls came and sat right beside me and I

I blew it. Didn't say a word to 'em.

Answer 5

You should see your Dr. He might consider putting you on Paxil..it has been very very helpful to many people in your situation.

Answer 6

You need to keep telling yourself that everything is going be to OK. You have to sort of train your mind to be relaxed and carefree. What kind of life is it to always be in fear?

Answer 7

having a dog to walk is a very easy indirect way of meeting people too.

I agree, have a chat with your doctor - tell him you need help for depression. good luck

Answer 8

women take notice of you!? you have it better than i do

quit whining. go ahead and take your pills and make the mega-drug industry rich.

who cares about being "mature" you want those snobby uppity bimbos gawkin at you and not giving you a lay. well if you want that go ahead ill take the getting laid thank you very much

Answer 9

You simply make yourself. It's that plain and simple.

Answer 10

Xanax is good stuff too.