Here is the scenario. I’ve Been dating this girl for 7 months now. And has it’s moments but all in all been great! Even thinking of getting married. She came home after work and all of sudden said she was getting a hair cut shorter in the morning. Ok what ever. She got it cut looks great.
Walked in the kitchen she was text’n some one. I asked who’s that babe? She replied it was her friend, we’ll call “Jay”. From let say from “boon-town”. And she was going to meet up with him later to pick up some paper work from her previous divorce from, lets call him “Bob”. I’m not usually not the jealous type but I don’t think she wouldn’t of said anything if I didn’t ask
Well they were sending text messages back and fourth, what ever. Then after a little she went in the shower but grabbed her phone with her? Hmmm
After her shower we chit chat for a bit. Then she said she was going to blow dry her hair, and I saw she left her phone on the bed. I prob should go to hell for this but I looked at her text messages and she was not texting “Jay” she was texting “Bob” (ex-husband)! My heart dropped. I read a few of them one witch stood out saying she was volunteering till 3:30 (time I go to work) and asked if he wanted to meet up afterwards. None of the text said anything about divorce papers. HMMMMM
Well I was getting ready for work putting on my shoes at 3:30 time I normally leave she comes up and gives me a kiss and I ask her what she is up today? (Saturday) said she’s going to pick up the papers from “Jay” who lives in lets say “mo-town” and was going to see if she could pic them up in lets say “yo-town” (closer town) But as you recall she told me earlier he lived “boon-town”. I said nothing and just left.
Why would she lie to me? I don’t think she would cheat on me. Did she just want to see her e-x and didn’t want me to worry?
2007-08-25 12:49:39 · 15 answers · asked by butters 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no she doesn't want you to worry. She is being kind to you.Loving in fact.
Leave her be.
She is taking the steps she needs to take to get closure in her life. This isn't a conscious decision, really, its more of a natural process. and if you don't look the other way while she processes this step,you might as well kiss your little ars good-bye.Then she will have to start all over... and she STILL will not be over thinking
your relationship. She has to continue on this track with Bob, or she will be forced to keep repeating this step forever.
Be as supportive as you can be. give her as much "alone in the head" time as she needs. Play music she likes. hold her a lot and tell her you love to be near her.Treat her as if she has had a death in her family and grieving.
She has to grieve for things to be really over.
Do not ask questions.
You will be her hero
This has nothing to do with you or her relationship with you.
This is just her learning how to deal with hard stuff. If you don't listen to me now.....
YOU will be learning from YOUR own grief...
and remembering what advice you were given.
What may seem "sneaky" of her now ...
translates into none of your business.
She is trying to be OFF with the old so she can get on with the new. And that would be you !
and as I said...treat her as if she is grieving and be quiet. I doubt she will tell you anything about this.But then it isn't for you to know.
2007-08-25 13:19:59 · answer #1 · answered by to tell ya the truth........... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she knows you better and feels that you wouldn't understand. Maybe she's just a liar and can't be trusted. Either way, you can't be trusted to respect her privacy as you showed by reading her txt. The two of you should talk. Tell her what you did, and that way you both can come clean. You about the invasion to her privacy and her about lying. All the cards will be on the table then, and either you will work it out or you wont. If you don't then the relationship is on a course to self destruction. You need to talk to her. I wish you luck.
2007-08-25 12:57:13 · answer #2 · answered by sustasue 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you know where they're going to meet up (which I suggest you look at, you have a good reason to now) have a friend or something 'accidentally' run into them or something. Just try and figure out what's going on. If that doesn't seem right to you, tell her you looked, and that you had a good reason to. Indicate that you've been suspicious, and ask her yourself why she's lying. She might be cheating (most likely she is, sorry to say) and i don't see why else she'd hide it.
2007-08-25 12:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she was going to see him and did not want you to worry, then she should have told you up front from the beginning. Sounds like there may be a little rolling in the hay going on here. Maybe for old time sake or what ever it may be. Sounds like she is not being honest / faithful towards you.
2007-08-25 12:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by psycho magnet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to ask her. maybe they are metting for a legit reason-working things out so there's no grudge-money things. my ex is a mechanic.he did everything for my car. bout a 18mths ago we broke up i meet some one so did he.i didn't want my bf thinking anything was going on while my ex worked my car-didnt want him to be jelous so i always told him, i'm hanging with kelli..well one day he found out, we talked worked it out, and he has no problem with the set up, the only guide lines is i telll him when and where the car will be fixed and i drop it off come home and pick it up when its ready. ask her whats going on. tell her you're feeling left in the dark and tell her you know "jay" is "bob". you just want to know if she's with you or if she with him.
2007-08-25 12:59:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is a married woman!! she is seeing her husband on the side either get out or put her out!!! yes she is cheating on her husband with you!!! and on you with her husband!!!! in Michigan they passed a law earlier this year making infidelity in marriage grounds to do prison time!!! for real!!! cut loose and find a girl who is single or already divorced!!! as long as a couple is married whether they are living together or not it is adultery!!!! good luck.
2007-08-25 12:59:54 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She did not want you to know she was meeting "Bob". She is a pretty bad liar if she can't remember what she said previously. Sound suspicious to me.
2007-08-25 13:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds liek shes chaeting ahte to admit but It does honesty is the best policy why dont u just tell her your sorry you read her texts but you think th bigger problm is hwy she was lying about talkin to her ex and then meetn up with him that seems the bigger lie
2007-08-25 12:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She's definitely cheating on you. Or she's a spy protecting our country from terrorists and you're compromising her by talking about it. It's probably the first one. Sorry man, you should run from her and don't look back. Be thankful you're getting away relatively unscathed.
2007-08-25 12:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you need to face up to the possibilty that she is cheating on you. Why else would she need to lie if there was nothing for you to worry about.
2007-08-25 12:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋