Recently I moved into my mother in laws as a temporary living situation for my child and I ( I am also pregnant) because the father of my children has made some bad choices. I have absolutely nothing going for myself right now. I am sick and tired of being dependent on other people. I dont ever want to be in this position again. Its such a horrible feeling not being able to take care of myself financially. I use his car depending on when he feels like letting me. I know I need to gain financial indepence but I dont know how to get there. No one will hire me pregnant and if they do I have to take time off in the near future to have a baby then daycare for my 2 babies will take my whole paycheck. My family lives in another state and I question moving back home again but then I struggle with that decision because then my children wont have their dad in their lives. I know moving home I have a lot of support and a family that I love and miss. How do I choose between the two?
2007-08-25 11:29:25 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should not have to choose you have already made your decision and that is going to be made because of your kids and not you. You have a father that does not want to help you yet alone use the car when you need to. He is not financially taking care of you and your kids and you are worrying about them seeing him and being in their lives. He is not worrying about them and how you take care of them. Your choice has been made take your kids and go to your parents where you can have the support you know you need until you get back on your feet. You do not need him and your kids do not need him they do not need to be raised by a man who does not care about them and their financial situation. Your kids need structure and stability and you can give them that at your parents. Leave and do not look back and put everything in God's hands he will make a way.
2007-08-25 11:45:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know where you live, but some states have a program called (or similar to) Job and Family Services. They help people find jobs and give them job skill training. They also have childcare service as an option if you're in the program, or at least they do in Wood County, Ohio.
However, I'd return home with your kids if their father is not in their lives because of bad choices he made, especially if he's not paying child support. You need to think about taking care of your kids, and if you have family who will help you get back on your feet, then move there.
2007-08-25 18:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by Karen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
bad choices... we all make those sometimes but the thing u need to remember is that instead of wallowing in self pity, u need to get up off the floor dust urself off and go on...
thank God u have a place to stay even is it is temporary... be grateful. u have to make a decision to get ur life back in order... u said the father of my children but u didn't say husband... is he trying to do the rite thing by u or is he being selfish and avoiding his responsibilities... there r many factors that come to mind but the most important one is u n ur kids n the predicament that u r in. u need to look deep inside urself n think about ur future... if u stay will ur life be the same drama that u have experienced so far... is he promising that things will get better n r u buying it, if u r God bless n more power to u n ur family... if ur not buying it, then u know what needs to be done.
as far as the financial aspects, God always makes a way... go n take a class n learn a trade... when u have ur baby u should be able to get on ur feet, whether it is with ur man or independently that will be ur choice...
hope all turns out well, God bless...
2007-08-25 18:57:07 · answer #3 · answered by Ivy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not just the father making bad choices, YOU are making bad choices, actually you are making horrific choices. Apparently you have no sense of doing things in an orderly way, you just jump in bed with a guy and have a baby, you know he's a rediculous individual, but then you DO IT AGAIN. You talk about "their father" so I assume you aren't married to him, but that doesn't even phase you, you just find it a normal thing, all of this and you wonder why you have problems. You don't have a choice to make because neither is going to solve your problems. You can just flip a coin, that's about as serious as you've taken these other issues.
2007-08-25 19:11:29 · answer #4 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want a Father around for your children than doesn't even want to own up to his responsibility and take care of them? Thsi doesn't make sense to me. I suggest you move on and let family help you. I suggest also reporting him as a deadbeat Father and have them garnish his wages if they have to. Please get a backbone and get some help. You can get help too from a womans and children shelter. There are plenty of programs that can help you until you get back on your feet. Don't put up with his crap anymore.
2007-08-25 19:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by hsmommy06 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the father of your children is doing illegal things then it is best to not have him in their lives. Go back to your parents and start fresh. YOU can make a difference!
Good luck!
2007-08-25 18:37:49 · answer #6 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Contact the community college in your area and find out about taking classes. Good luck.
2007-08-25 19:12:15 · answer #7 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋