I've fallen in love and don't know what to do?

Question

I met a guy three years ago and we chat and know each other now but never gone out with each other or had that kind of relationship, I've never had any luck with men and the last time i had a boyfriend was 11 years ago, i do know him well and it's not a crush or anything this is deep. I really don't know what to say I'm very nervous and don't think I'm good enough because I just don't know what to say whenever I try and make a move I get scared and am scared of what he might think or say, please help me I really love this man. Thank You x
Oh and by the way I am a lady.

I have not met him on the internet.

Answer 1

There's this funny paradox:

If you are confident and act like everything you do is natural i.e. as it always suppose to be, everything else conforms to your move or way you act.

As a man, I would not recommend women to get too confident or they will get arrogant (a big reason to reject a woman) or take too much control in the relationship.

The self esteem thing, it's your perception of yourself. If you feel you are worth it, you are. If you don't, you are not. It does not matter what the thing or person is, it's a matter of personal judgement. Get over it (but again, don't over do it).

The guy you are in lve with has noting to do with your previous relationships. If you see him like your past relationship, he will end up like your past relationship - a common mistake for people to screw things up. Your nervousness and love for this man is a factor to screw up your opportunities. Hold them back a little.

I am not an expert on dating for women, but there are my recommended manouveures (although I recommend your own):
1) Start conversations as you normally would (or if you can handle it, start to flirt a little)
2) If he mentions something you like e.g. music, hanging out, movies etc., start saying, 'i saw this thing at abc, want to go to xyz?'
if he says yes, the date is sorted. if he says no, don't let it get you down. keep talking like it never happened.
3) if you started flirting at step 1 and he responds back etc. it means he has alwas liked you and you just gave confirmation that you like him back. in that case, you can move onto the date. if he does not mention about it, you can arrange the date.
if he does not repsond as you expect (assuming he is a confident guy), stop.
if he starts asking what was that all about, come straight and say 'recently, i have been having these feelings for you and i wanted to be more than just friends now,etc.' he can then arrange a date or he can reject you.

4) if either way you get to the date. remember to have fun and do fun things. Takes things slowly.

There're various ways to learn how to flirt if you don't already know. Tracey cox does good books on how to flirt although they are pretty basic, it's a good place to start)

Answer 2

I have been introduced up in an extraordinarily musical household. I'm the only family member who presently performs an instrument (drums), however my mom performs her stereo nearly everyday, and that i take heed to my mp3 participant daily. We actually have a agenda where we play a certain band for an complete month (March is U2 month, for example). So I've continually loved all genres (besides for nation and most of rap). However, Coldplay and Keane grew to become me on to a entire other style (although i am now not sure what it would be referred to as), and that i used to hate 80s track unless come what may I began liking it. I've at all times appreciated ancient institution punk from the seventies and eighties, but in view that I own Message in a field (The Police) I wish to be trained more about the clash, The intercourse Pistols and The Ramones.

Answer 3

i've got been talked approximately in an incredibly musical relatives. i'm the only relatives member who at the instant performs an device (drums), yet my mom performs her stereo virtually on a daily basis, and that i pay attention to my mp3 participant on a daily basis. We actually have a time table the place we play a undeniable band for a complete month (March is U2 month, for example). So i've got continuously enjoyed all genres (aside from u . s . a . and maximum of rap). yet, Coldplay and Keane became me directly to an entire different type (although i'm not sure what it must be referred to as), and that i used to hate 80s song until eventually by some skill i began liking it. i've got continuously enjoyed previous college punk from the Nineteen Seventies and Eighteen Eighties, yet for the reason that I own Message in a container (The Police) i decide to earnings extra with reference to the conflict, The intercourse Pistols and The Ramones.

Answer 4

Hi,

I had this problem, known the guy for a long time, but just from him being a singer and i used to go see him.
we used to smile at each other and that, but it never went much further. i really really really liked him, i still do.
my friend bit the bullet after me not having the courage to do anything. he didn't like me the same way. It was a real lump in the throat moment, but now i now, and can move on. we still talk, and as far as i know, there's no awkwardness.
Just be casual, give it a go, u never know, your story might go alot better than mine!
Good luck!

Answer 5

Yeah, if its someone over the internet, forget it, but if you know him in person, just pluck up the courage, maybe he likes you too, but is in the same situation, maybe if he likes you, he's scared to make the first move incase of what you will say or think, just go ahead and hope it works out, cause if it doesn't, what you got to lose? cause if you dont tell him how you feel, then 10 years from now, you will regret it, good luck xx

Answer 6

In the good old days what would happen is this. You would ask your friend to ask his friend to ask you out.

Or

You would arrange a foursome and ask him to make up the number. Usually it is the other gentleman who will ask him. He goes on a 'blind date' and lo and behold the young lady he meets is your very own self.

In the very old days, apparently, you would just ask your chaperon,. and she would arrange it all for you. But that art has been lost generations ago.

What helps is smiling, eye contact, being well presented, and clear and intelligent speech. You are using this as an opportunity to lay out your stall. He will never make a move if he thinks you are always going to be available. You will have to make it clear that he must grab you or lose you.

Answer 7

Well, it's normal to be nervous, especially since you haven't been with anyone in quite a long time. Of course you're going to be scared, but you need to get over your fear, before it's too late. Wait for him to make his move, and then follow his lead. Once you get over being scared & nervous, it'll all come natural. You're supposed to feel nervous & scared...that's why we get butterflies in our stomachs, it's only natural.

I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

hey dont be shy, someone has to make the move. just think this is your last chance, that way, you will HAVE to make a move before soemone else does so please please do something b4 some1 else gets there before u! we dont want broken hearts or knwong that u never tried and what if's all your life. be confident, wear your best bra to giv eu t he oomph and just smile an dbe yourself. it works. if u have to wear ur best outfit at wrk or where ever u know him frm, then do so. say hi and start chatting :) like weather or u feel hot? or u had lunch? or erm...just smile and he'll get the message.

Answer 9

I think you should tell him. Who knows maybe he feels the same way? and if he doesn't then so what at least you won't go through life regretting it. Take a chance. Good luck!

Answer 10

Just tell him itll feel better dont be scared life goes on. You'll regret not saying after you tell him it'll feel like a huge weight is lifted off your shoulders.