Are there meetings? Do you have to be invited to attend?
2007-08-25 08:43:21 · 13 answers · asked by Candidus 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
you just have to believe and the FSM will touch you with his noodly appendage. also, beer volcanoes are required in every home..
2007-08-25 08:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The requirements of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (or Pastafarianism) are the 8 "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts." These were collected by the Pirate Captain Mosey atop Mount Salsa when he couldn't find a suitable pirate ship by the FSM. There were originally ten, but Mosey's pirate lackeys dropped two of the stone tablets overboard.
The "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" are:
1) I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou *** when describing my noodly goodness. If some people don't believe in me, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
2) I'd really rather you didn't use my existence as a means to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. I don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
3) I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, Okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. Samey = Samey. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about fashion and I'm sorry, but I gave that to women and some guys who know the difference between teal and fuchsia.
4) I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. As for anyone who might object, I think the expression is go f*** yourself, unless they find that offensive in which case they can turn off the TV for once and go for a walk for a change.
5) I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of others on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the b*******.
6) I'd really rather you didn't build multi million-dollar churches/temples/mosques/shrines to my noodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
I might be a complex-carbohydrate omniscient being, but I enjoy the simple things in life. I ought to know. I AM the creator.
7) I'd really rather you didn't go around telling people I talk to you. You're not that interesting. Get over yourself. And I told you to love your fellow man, can't you take a hint?
8) I'd really rather you didn't do unto others as you would have them do unto you if you are into, um, stuff that uses a lot of leather/lubricant/Las Vegas. If the other person is into it, however (pursuant to #4), then have at it, take pictures, and for the love of Mike, wear a CONDOM! Honestly, it's a piece of rubber. If I didn't want it to feel good when you did it I would have added spikes, or something.
These are equivalent to other religion's Ten Commandments, but because the FSM is a merciful and benevolent God, it's okay if you don't follow His "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts." Really, He doesn't care either way, it's just a general guideline for life. It's not like there's eternal punishment in store for you or anything.
As you can see, the tenements to Pastafarianism are far more superior (and humorous) that those of other religions. But if you don't believe in Him, the FSM really don't care. He's cool like that. Also, there are no Churches for the Great FSM because He thinks it's fine if you worship from home. (See I'd Really Rather You Didn't #6)
May you be touched by His Noodly Appendage! RAmen!
2007-08-25 09:01:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meet balls the size to fit on the end of a pitchfork.
You are already invited and noted as an attendant.
2007-08-25 08:48:52 · answer #3 · answered by Randy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marinara sauce apparently.
And a Pirate costume of course.
2007-08-25 08:51:47 · answer #4 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a pirate's personal psychic invitation. These invitations are, of course, psychic, so only you will know when you receive them.
2007-08-25 08:52:06 · answer #5 · answered by Menon R 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only requirement is to use the appropriate marinara sauce.
2007-08-25 08:47:21 · answer #6 · answered by Devoted1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good quality grated Parmesan cheese.
2007-08-25 08:47:26 · answer #7 · answered by marsel_duchamp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, but I thought it was open to everyone to practice FSM, where and how they choose.
2007-08-25 08:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by hog b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped
2007-08-25 08:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its a good question.
I'll look on Wikipedia...
2007-08-25 08:46:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋