ThE LOVE OF My LiFE iS LEAViNG FOR ThE ARMy TRAiNiNG THiNG...iM HAPPy FOR hiM BUT i DON'T WANT hiM TO GO AND LEAVE ME hERE ALL ALONE...HE SAiD hE LOVEz ME AND WOULD NEVER hURT ME iN ANyWAy...hE ASKED ME iF i WANTED hiM TO LEAVE OR STAy hERE WiTh ME...i TOLD hiM TO STAy AND hE LOOKED VERy DiSAPPOiNTED AND JUST SAiD yES hE'LL STAy...i FEEL HAPPy AND SAD AT ThE SAME TiME...ShOULD i JUST LET hiM GO?!?iF i DO HEz GONNA MiSS ThE BiRTh OF OUR BABy!BUT ShOULD i STiLL FOR hiS HAPPiNESS???
2007-08-25 07:08:58 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First, drop the caps so I can read.
From what I can gather, he already joined, there is no option but to go, to NOT go, will land him as AWOL and in deep s**t.
Once he finishes training, if you two are married, you can join him (depending on where he is) at the governments expense.
In the meantime, you'll be fine for 6-8 weeks.
If he HASN'T joined, then see if he will stay until after the baby is born, then join, the insurance benefits for him/her would be awesome
2007-08-25 07:15:41 · answer #1 · answered by Michael H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't stop him doing anything! it will only cause resentment because although you are together he still has to make his own decisions. Personally I dont see how anybody would stand to miss the birth of his baby tho... Ask him if hes okay with staying tell him youll love him and support him either way and see what he does...he obviously cares about you by volunteering to stay but he has to do things for himself as well and he will feel that you are holding him back in life (even though he loves you) which may cause problems later in the relationship. But if he leaves, ask yourself if you really think a relationship will work with this man who isnt there for the birth of his child?
Good luck and congrats on the new baby! xxx take care of yourself gurl
2007-08-26 12:16:06 · answer #2 · answered by prettyflower17 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't have a high opinion of your guy, but that's just my opinion. If he wanted the Army first, he shouldn't have been so busy impregnating you. Now if he wanted to marry you, which would be a good idea, you would be eligible for some military benefits, but, since you aren't married, you won't get any. If he's already agreed to do army boot camp, he'll be in a lot of legal trouble if he doesn't go, so yes, you have to let him go. At this point he'd be stupid not to go.
Please do not go for this anti war rhetoric on here. The men going to Iraq, um, most are coming back just fine, and many sign up for a second and third tour of duty. That should tell you they are doing some good over there. We have a friend whose husband left the other day. We stand behind him 110%.
2007-08-25 15:18:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since he has spoken that he would love and never hurt you, you should take this time to really test both of your love for each other.
It would be selfish of you as oppose to being selfless when ur in a relationship. Let him persue it since you can ALready tell that he looked dissapointed.
Army is not the end of the world my dear...its training remember, not war. He WILL be coming back to you...just not as often as you wish.
It could be a phase of time where he needs the training from the army to prepare him for Parent hood. He may be under alot of stress knowing that a new member would be joining the club soon. It could be that he wants to prove to himself that he can DO it....that he can Make it...
Your man has already gave up so much for you...you still have a choice to change it and be THE support He needs from you. I am sure he would do the same, anytime for you...
best of luck...
2007-08-25 14:20:41 · answer #4 · answered by Dan_da_man 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have him stay till the baby is born and have him at least get to know his child before he goes off because u really never kno how long it will be before u see him or if u ever will so just take him being their with all your heart n savor it if he does love u n u love him make a plan that will benifit u him and the future baby
2007-08-25 14:15:56 · answer #5 · answered by B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should accept his decision in going to the Army; it's what he has chosen to do. So, yes, you should let him go. You can always keep in touch with him by e-mail and phone. Be sure you send plenty of pictures, though! And you'll be able to see him when he's home for the holidays.
Realize that no one so far has agreed with you in "making" him stay...Besides, think of the role model he can be to your future baby!
2007-08-25 14:16:12 · answer #6 · answered by mari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has just signed up for the national guard as well. I was very unhappy about it, but the more he talks about it....the more excitement you can see in his eyes. We have four children together and all I was thinking about was me and being here alone for 14 weeks to take care of the children by myself. If he really wants to do it..then dont hinder him or he may resent you for it later.
2007-08-25 15:01:03 · answer #7 · answered by kennedy4047 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
M'am, I really don't understand why he asked you if you wanted he to go to the Army, or stay with you, then when you said you wanted him to stay with you, he looked dissapointed. Now you feel guilty, wondering if you were selfish, if you didn't care about his " happiness ".
Well, let me give you a piece of my mind:
why he let you decide for him ?, that was a matter he should have decided by himself as a man: going to the army, of staying with his family who needs him so dearly.
Don't blame yourself for anything, lady. You're STANDING for yourself, and the child, his child, who is about to be born. You're doing the right moral thing. You don't want the child grow up without having his father around, right?, you're doing something right, courageous.
I'd suggest you to talk with your man, tell him that you cannot make decisions for him, that is an adult man, a man with a family, that you don't want him to blame you later on, for the decision that ONLY he should make. Tell him that you don't want him to go, join the army, and be deployed to Iraq, and then face the probability of being killed there,of maimed, that he'd die for nothing, that USA troops are not dying for "freedom", but for the irresponsible, malicious decisions of the people in charge of this government who launched a war based on lies, tell him that you don't want to become one of the widows who cry for the loss of their loved husbands, and you don't want your child to join the thousands of orphaned children of USA soldiers killed in Iraq. Finally ask him, who needs him more: Mr. Bush's government, or his own family. Ask him to take his own decision as a man. Whatever be his decision, respect it.
You're a loving, coraugeous woman.
Good luck !!
2007-08-25 14:48:20 · answer #8 · answered by Idon'tlivehere 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
first of all sit u 2 with eachother and talk about that to him and tell him that u are happt to let him go bcz he will be there and tell him u only like him to sit with u to watch his baby birth and only u want him to sit beside u when u are giving birth and explain to him your opinion but if that was his decision and u must accept it and u get happy bcz he is happy so do it
2007-08-25 14:21:18 · answer #9 · answered by loula 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Compromise, ask him to stay until after the baby is born, then ask him to re-evaluate his decision.
2007-08-25 14:18:03 · answer #10 · answered by Debra d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋