Is it even possible for a 4 year old to commit suicide??

Question

Okay I know that sounds really bad but listen....

I am 18 and I have legal custody of my sisters two kids. And I'm having all sorts of problems!!!

Okay the four year old she came home from camp the other day asking about suicide. And I refused to answer, because that's not a decent topic for a 4 year old! But guess, what she knew about it all ready!!!! So here I am trying to convince a four year old that, it's a very bad thing, and God doesn't approve. Then I thought that was the end of that!!!

But today when we didnt have any chicken nuggets, and had to eat chicken fingers instead, she flipped, and threw a hissy fit! Announcing outside in the backyard, where the neighbors could hear....that if I didn't go to the store and buy some she'll commit suicide!!!!

I know I shouldn't take this seriously, but what if I'm wrong and I should pay attention???

Mind you, she has a history of abusing the dogs! Just read my old questions for more info.

I have custody of them because my sister suffers from schizophrenia.

And well their father, who is the biggest jack@$$ in the world (no I don't say that in front of them!), was a married man, who didn't want "bastards" as he called them....

Answer 1

She needs to see a counselor--seriously. Without delay.

Answer 2

Yes however unlikely, it's possible, and you need to get in contact with the camp and ask what went on. You must try to find out who is responsible for this kind of talk.

The other poster is right even though they called her a future serial killer... abusing animals can be a sign of a serious personality disorder. Get her to the doctor or a psychologist for an evaluation.

It sounds shocking to hear but kids do say stuff like that sometimes just from hearing it and copying it. You know that and so will your neighbours so don't worry about what they think, you could always talk to them, i'm sure they will understand.

If you don't mind my asking why do you have legal custody of your sister's children? Did someone die? If so that's normal for a child to want to join them but an adult must have mentioned suicide. It's very likely her behaviour is in response to whatever happened which made you get custody.

PS- A child would kill themselves over chicken nuggets. They don't understand the finality of it.

Answer 3

I think the 4 year old is indicating she does have inner problems already, at so young an age. Where is her mother and father? If they are gone from her life, for whatever reason, it still leaves a big gap of feeling loved and cared for. When you are so young, you still need a lot of support to be able to figure out the world. I'd say get medical help for the little girl. She is very troubled. She is more than likely feeling she has no ground beneath her, and is like a leaf blowing in the wind. You can't grow up healthy and stable with no foundation and support. She has already begun to notice that something is missing in her life and being so young, she is just groping and grabbing at what she thinks will fix her problem. But with no real maturity or understanding of life, she will do and say stupid things. She truly needs some special help or more love and support, for sure! You are also very young to have to be responsible for someone else's children. I hope, you yourself, have some sort of support and help as well. I'd reach out to the medical community in your area. You don't have to do this alone. Take care and God bless you all!

Answer 4

First off, I want to say that I commend you for taking on such a huge responsibility at such a young age!! Women like you are rare and should be thanked at every opportunity.

I have a 3 year old and though he has never done this exact thing, I can understand what she's doing. My son is going thru one of those stages where he'll try to get what he wants and tryies all sorts of things. Mostly with him it's different attitudes or BIG words he has learned but it sounds mostly like she is trying to get attention. I know you said she has abused the dogs and my suggestion would be to get her into counseling so they can determine if she has some underlying mental issue. You didn't say how long you've had her so I'm not sure if she is aware of what's wrong with mom or how mom behaves so she might have learned some of it from mom and is now acting out what she has seen. I'll be praying for you.

Answer 5

This is a difficult topic for anyone. I am a psychologist, and I would recommend some counseling for this little girl. However, as a mother, I would say that this is most likely just a phase or fascination that she has and she'll get over it soon. Some questions to ask yourself are: Does she know anyone who has committed or attempted suicide? Does she understand the magnitude of death, and that it is final? And does she try to hurt herself or others, even animals? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then she needs counseling now. If she doesn't understand what suicide really is and what death really is, then maybe you should try to explain it in terms that she can understand. I know that it may be hard for you to do, but try to leave religion out of the discussion for now. While you may want her to know all about God and what He wants, she can't fully grasp that concept until about age 7 or 8, so when the topic is so serious you may want to tell her things like, "When we die, we can never come back. It is like when we kill a bug and it can never fly again. If we are dead, we can't play or talk or even eat and drink anymore." If you need anymore help with this and can't afford or don't want to get her counseling, you are welcome to e-mail me and I will try to help you further.

Answer 6

First of all, WHY do you have legal custody over your sister's children?
There must be a reason. Does your sister have health issues, mental issues, anything like that? Did she abuse drugs or alcohol? Did she have a lot of irresponsible friends?

Usually kids learn this behavior from their environment, and the adults/older individuals who are around them. She might have a lot of pent-up emotions and doesn't know how to express them properly.

I would take her to a psychologist and have her evaluated. If she wasn't in a great environment to begin with, yes, she could suffer from anxiety or depression or something.

She could have also picked it up at camp. Do you visit the camp often? If not, I would go to it and see what it's like and observe the camp and how the children interact with the camp volunteers.

Answer 7

A counselor will observe her in a room where she is alone and tell you she mimicks what she sees and hears. There is a song that was released a couple of weeks ago on the radio where the boy talks about suicide; lyrics- your way to beautiful girl, thats why it would never work, you had me suicidal, suicidal...etc. Maybe you should consider finding out the ages of the children @ camp and seeing if there is a radio that they listened too! Parents a lot of the time put it past TV and radio for a lot of the negative behavior children immitate nowadays.

Answer 8

I would take her to see a counselor. Get a referral from your pediatrician. Make sure you find one that specializes in young children. She'll be encouraged to talk about her feelings in a gentle way.

I think the way that you reacted to the suicide question is the reason that she went in the back yard and threatened to do it. One does not kill themselves over chicken nuggets. She asked you a question about a shocking subject and you reacted strongly. You refused to talk about it, letting her know that it was something that upset you. I'm sure there was body language, tone of voice and facial expressions all involved. She read into all of that and knew that this was something that would push your buttons. Children are very perceptive.

If after she went into the backyard and screamed you had another strong reaction she will be sure to threaten suicide again. Possibly everytime she doesn't get what she wants until it no longer proves successful and shocking.

Next time she asks a question of that manner give her the answer. I'm sure she got misinformation at camp and she was looking for you to set her straight. She wants you to be her confidant. Step into that role.

Answer 9

I just want to start out by saying that I am so sorry for your loss. Chances are you are clinging to each other because you have both lost a loved one. Your fiance's brother is the closest thing you now have to him so it's only natural that you may be feeling somewhat attracted to him. I wouldn't rush into anything right now, you both need time to grieve and after a period of 6 months or so you could realise that you didn't feel attracted to him at all.

Answer 10

I don't mean to frighten you, but seek a counselor. My cousin was 5, and her mother (my auntie) heard a noise in the middle of the night and got up (thank god) to check. Her daughter had a knife to her wrist. I feel sick just writing this and my auntie was horrified because she is always so careful about what her daugher watches and stuff and doesn't understand where she got this idea from. But she (my cousin) is quite mentally ill. She is now 7 and doing much better. Although she still has therapy.

It could be attention seeking or acting out in your case, but it's safer to seek help just in case. Goodluck hun, I hope everything is fine x.

Answer 11

Hmm I think she is probably just talking without truly grasping the concept . But i would still be a little worried and maybe try and get her some counseling. Some 4 yr olds are smarter than we think so i wouldln't just brush it off. Keep talking to her and watch her close. Keep items away from her that she could possibly think about using to harm herself.