My gf and me are once again broke up?

Question

My on again off again relationship with my gf is getting to me now. We live long distance and when I went there the last time I found lubricant in her side drawer. I knew it wasn't from me and it made me sick to see it because in my heart I knew she had someone else there. We are lesbians. I didn't question her but I was standoffish. Then I found her name on a lesbian personals looking for someone else and so we got into a fight. She never pays for the personal ad, she's too cheap she just gets the flirts or kisses that are free. Anyhow, I got home and we argued and I hung up on her. I then emailed her on all I knew. She emailed back and basically said that it's not true it's not her on the personal site which is a lie and said NOTHING about the lubricant. I've never hung up on her. She's always hung up on me and said it's over. I did it this time before she could. She kept sending me emails yesterday and I wouldn't respond and then I responded to one saying she owed me.

an apology and an explanation. I love her alot I really do to allow this bs. Anyhow she emailed me back and said do not email me or bother me in any way and if you do I'll send your emails to abuse. I haven't abused her and so I didn't email her back. The question I guess here is. Was I wrong? Does she in any way feel bad that I found out? Does she miss me? When I was last there she told me she loved me and wanted me to move in with her. I had to find a job first and it was difficult to do. Oh and I had called her friend up two months ago and we talked and I didn't say mean things about her but her friend did, she basically warned me about her. Her friend of course right away told her. Now my gf is bringing that up and throwing it in my face when she didn't do it when it happened. She knew this the entire time, why didn't she say anything until we fought if it bothered her? Is this just another excuse she's using. We eventually get back tgether last time it was 7 mnths.

Answer 1

Good to see that homosexual relatonship still suffer from the old ideal of "Romantic Love" instead of understand how "unconditional love" works. Which your both missing from the relationship, it isn't that you guys wouldn't love each other if you heard the truth, your just not willing to tell each other the truth. Ether way seems that its finally coming to its end, maybe, work out better for you guys, seems you both got use to keeping certain truths form each other, her more then you, but the lube, doesn't help your case. Ether way this is going to happen when people put the IDEAL of love, over its applications, you know compassion, passion, understanding, companianship, trust. Its also espacially important for our homosexual brothers and sisters because there is ALOT more reality trying to bring the fantasy of romance crashing down around you unexpecting lovers. Besides that, marriage and almost ALL relationships up to this point were formed around the need to protect a family, to raise them, help them survive in this world. Without that MAJOR purpose outside the relationship, you end up with a amoral, purposeless, love sick relationship with no outside direction, just two individuals in it killing time. This is actually what has brought a destrution to almost all relationships in our society, not just homo, but just saying you guys are going to be more influenced by it, becaue 1 its the natural purpose of ANY human relationship that there be a purpose outside the love the two share, and 2 its unatural for ANYONE to go against the grain of society and not feel the sting. Thats why it sadden me so much to see you two guys were in-love but still suffering from the same classical relationship problems most heterals ran into, I guess I just thought you guys be smart since you didn't have to bow down to man, I see it doesn't matter, but you guys since you suffer the same stigma from our society would of at the least had a more honest relationship, but I see the romance has already done its damage......

Answer 2

Personally I could not, however my niece was once doing the equal factor and her existence worried two babies age three and 18 months and her husband and marriage.Her different addictions had been cocaine and meth, She abused all her famling and those closest to her in marraige. however I'd say if he has been blank for 10 months, that does exhibit he is attempting and values the connection among you and him.. Besides over coming the dependancy and the believe limitation it is imporatant to have plenty of endurance. Many blessing to you each.