white wedding...?

Question

I'm worried about a couple of things on my big day... but the one thing that could really ruin it is the fact that im afraid the one of my friends wants to wear white... She's the kind of person who likes to stand out and make a scene... what do i do? and any bride ever have this problem on their big day? tell me your stories! and tell me how you solved them :)

thank you everyone for your feedback :)and for those people with negative feed back if you didnt notice i didnt ask for your opinions about tradition... im just asking those ladies out there who have been through this before.

Answer 1

I would say very casually to her ..."I had this nightmare about my wedding that someone else wore a white dress!" That might be a good way for her to get the hint. Or you could recruit another friend to say "what are you wearing to so-and-sos wedding?" and if she says a white dress have your friend nicely say that that would be kind of rude. Good luck!

Answer 2

When my cousin got married, he married a young woman whose parents were divorced. Her mom was very, very much an attention-hog. My husband and I were there helping with the rehearsal, and she was all over the place, saying "me, me, me," "I, I, I". My cousin explained she has to be the center of attention everywhere she goes. So, the next day, at the actual wedding, the mom came headed down the aisle, waving and smiling and pretty much acting like she was the focus of the day -- reminded me of the beauty pageant winner who rides on a float in a parade -- it was funny. But we all understood how she was. Someone who is that narcissistic cannot change. And it didn't ruin the wedding for my cousin or his new bride because it really was "their day" and nothing the mother could do was going to get in the way of that.

You'll just have to understand that about your friend. It really is a thing that can break up a friendship when one is narcissistic. If she never gives you any attention when it's just you two alone, I'd suggest finding a way to gently extricate her from your life. Friendship is supposed to go two ways.

Go ahead and invite her to your wedding. But have the ushers know ahead of time who she is and where to seat her: behind a pole or something so she can't be viewed by everyone and seat her at the table furthest from you. That way, you will have invited her, but you will minimize any chance of her trying to "steal the show". The best thing about giving her such poor placement is no matter what she does, she'll be less likely to catch your attention. Everyone else at the wedding will be focused on you, and -- trust me -- they'll see through her attempt to make the wedding all about her.

BTW, the mother of my cousin's bride wore white, too. She stood out like a sore thumb. BUT everyone pretty much made her the joke of the day.

So, it will work out. Just be too busy doing a circuit of the guests and doing the other things you'll be doing, like posing for photographs. You'll be surprised how easily YOU will be able to avoid noticing her. And that is really all you need to have a happy day. Whatever your friend does, she can't take that away from you. Oh, and another idea? Seat an usher at her table or seat her near the wedding coordinator. Wedding coordinators have seen it all. They would know how to do with your friend who loves to ham it up.

Answer 3

While I agree it is frustrating to have to worry about someone else wearing a white dress, in the long run, that person is the one who will end up looking foolish. Everyone knows you are the bride, and you will be the big star of the day. At my wedding, my mother in law wore an ivory dress. (She tried convincing me that ivory was not the same as my white wedding dress, but come on!) Well, I was a bit irritated at first, but then I just let it go. I was not going to let something like somebody else's outfit ruin my day. And once the day arrived, I really could have cared less what ANYBODY was wearing! I was too busy having fun! So, try not to stress too much about it, and just focus on what your wedding is really all about...you and your new husband!

Answer 4

You can have another friend speak to her about how inappropriate wearing white would be. You shouldn't or it's going to look catty and she can brag to everybody and get the satisfaction of getting under your skin.

However, she sounds like the type who wouldn't care either way. I wouldn't worry too much about it. She is the one who will look tacky and really, nobody is going to forget WHO the bride is so it's almost impossible to steal your thunder unless she started stripping in the middle of the reception for the best man (yes I've seen that really happen).

The best solution with people like her is no solution. Don't let her behavior bother you and ignore it. Others will make a few comments about what an attention-ho she is and will move on to YOUR party. However, if you throw a fit she wins and that's all people will be talking about.

Answer 5

You are the bride, you will stand out and it is your day.
If she shows wearing white she will look stupid anyway since everyone knows no one wears white except for the bride. I would not worry about it.
If it really bugs you have a colored formal shawl on hand and ask one of your wedding party to hand it to her in front of people. Ask her to put it on and have them tell her that the bride wears white today.
No matter what though enjoy your day!!

Answer 6

I think it's really tacky to wear whit to someone elses wedding, ugh!
But if she really is your friend maybe you could talk to her? If you are afraid you are going to offend her maybe you could find a friend in common who could talk to her for you?

Remember that in the long run these aren't the things that are going to matter to you on your wedding day.

My wedding seemed like problem after problem at the reception the bestman's wife got so drunk she passed out in the bathroom, it was embarassing but it's not what I think about when I look back. I had a wonderful time with my husband, don't let anyone ruin that for you!
Good luck!

Answer 7

Just enjoy your day you worked to hard to plan this special day to let something like that worry you! Your the bride all the attention will be on you and your new hubby! If she does wear white maybe talk to her about if after the wedding! You need to stay focused make sure everything is in order and you have your marriage license my friend on 7707 forgot to pick hers up from the town hall! Just be happy for your big day!! Congrats!!!

Answer 8

Ok, just hit the thumbs down button right now!!

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that being a bride is not equal to being the Queen of England! You do not rule the land of fashion for everyone associated with you for the day. If she wants to wear white - so what?!?! Are you so insecure that you are afraid she's going to steal your spotlight? She won't. You are the bride, period. You cannot make a proclamation that no one is allowed to wear white or red or black or anything else that you deem inappropriate to your wedding. If that's what they have to wear, you don't have the right to tell them no. Sorry, but that's a fact. Not everyone is going to ask you first, or run their outfits past you in order to get approval - so you need to deal with the fact that someone may wear something you won't like - grow up!

There are some really major things to worry about in this world - someone wearing white to your wedding is the least of them!

Answer 9

I assume you didn't hire a bridal consultant, or else I'd have her handle this. However, if not, quit worrying about everything that could go wrong. This is your "big day", not hers. If she makes a scene, completely ignore it and get on with the important things. I'm sure your friends and family already have her number. She obviously craves attention and I wouldn't give her any. Good luck with the wedding!

Answer 10

Certainly not if she is in the wedding party. But you should control that. If she is not, then she will just look like a fool. Don't worry about it. everyone knows not to wear white at a wedding. And no one can make you upset if you don't allow them to... I think weddings are barbaric anyway, a father leading the virgin to be sacrificed... too expensive, too much emotional trauma! (Elope and spend the cash on a house or new car!)