They were married almost 21 yrs, and have 2 daughters, and she told him 2 weeks ago that she wanted a divorce. He has withdrawn from everyone, says he does not want to talk to anyone right now, needs some time alone. He goes to bed early, and stays in the house alot. We have been friend for 25 yrs, and we have always been able to talk about anything, and now it feels like he is shutting me out of his life, and will not talk to me. I know that he needs time to deal with this, but I would like to be here to listen and support him during this tough time in his life, because he has been there for me to talk to when I had alot of bad things happen in my life. I told him I will give him the time he needs and respect his wishes, and not offer any opinions about the divorce. I just am very concerned about how he is acting right now, it just breaks my heart that he is hurting like this. It is not like him to act like this. Please give me some good advice on how to help him, but not make him mad
2007-08-25 03:39:50 · 10 answers · asked by mldavr29 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Call him at least once a week, but not more than twice a week to remind him that he is not alone, that you are there if and when he needs a friend. Some guys have a hard time opening up and letting people see that they are hurting. I have some guy friends who would rather die than show their feelings and weakness. Give him space. Be there, when he is ready, he will let you know.
2007-09-01 22:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by booper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Step 1. Go and visit him
Step 2. is to get him out of the house. Go somewhere fun, like a baseball game. If you can't convince him, ask his daughters for help.
Step 3.Try to get him to talk about how he's taking the divorce issue. It's important for him to let out his feelings instead of keeping them inside.
Step 4. Comfort him as a friend and give him your advice.
I think that you're a good friend for trying to help him. It's hard for someone to comfort a person that isolated himself from everyone else. But if you don't succeed at the first try, try and try again.
2007-09-01 21:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by D.C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's depressed. His whole world just turned upside down. He's gotta adjust to being alone with out a wife and kids being around. I'm sure he's scared cuz he don't know what to expect, how much the divorce is going to cost, or if his wife is going to take him for everything he's got. Give him his space, he needs time to adjust and that just takes time. Don't give him a hard time about not talking to you cuz that will drive him further away.
2007-08-25 03:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by Tasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can offer is to continue to reach out to him. He is obviously depressed and for good reason. The constant sleeping is part of the process. As long as he is not using drugs, alcohol, or prostitutes to mask his pain, in time he will recover. You would be surprised the number of people who turn to the above mentioned in a time of crisis and end up destroying thier lives. He is more than likely having a hard time imagining his life without his soon to be ex wife. Plus he worried for his childrens future. Hang in thier with him and in time he will be back on his feet.
2007-08-25 03:49:18 · answer #4 · answered by Larry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep reaching out to him. Let him know you're there whenever he's ready. If he's not ready to talk. just sit with him, keep him company. Right now, he hasn't even absorbed what's happened to him. Be patient, but don't wander too far away. He may not act it or show it, but he really needs someone to be there for him. You're a good friend. I wish I had a friend like you when my husband walked out on me. I wish your friend the very best.
2007-09-01 13:56:51 · answer #5 · answered by justcurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Offer him a BJ!
This method has been tested, practiced, condoned and approved by Presidents!
2007-08-25 03:45:28 · answer #6 · answered by lalanmeyer 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just offer, love, support and lots of hugs
2007-09-02 00:24:39 · answer #7 · answered by Only Me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HEY JUST GO RIGHT UP TO HIM GIVE HIM A HUG AND TELL HIM YOU ARE THERE FOR HIM AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS!
2007-08-25 03:46:05 · answer #8 · answered by zippy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will come to you when he is ready...Just be his supportive friend until then.
2007-08-25 03:43:01 · answer #9 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no stay out of it is your best bet.
2007-09-01 15:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋