What should I do to help my drug abusive boyfriend alcoholic?

Question

He was an alcoholic, now he abuses pill, taking 40 or more a day (Pain pills, anti depressent) . He hides them and takes them when I'm not looking. He's 30 years old so I can't watch over him all the time. How do I help him before he dies?
We've been together 4 years and I'm also depressed and suffer from panic attacks.

Gee I haven't cried this much in days, thanks everyone for the great advice!
=)

Answer 1

You can help him by helping yourself. You need counselling. You need to end the relationship. Have you tried to get his family involved in an intervention? Has he been getting treatment for his alcohol and pill use? You both need counselling. He is 30 so he should be taking care of this situation. He could wind up dead from an overdose or from suicide. He could become violent (if he hasn't already). There are many issues in your situation that require a professional to intervene. Please get out of the relationship now and get him help. You both need help. This relationship is very unhealthy. Get out now. Love isn't really love if it's slowly killing you. Good luck. Really.

Answer 2

This sound's oh to familiar' I myself am with a alcoholic, as a matter of fact we have been married for 8 year's, so Im living proof that you can't change a person, when your boyfriend is ready to stop drinking he will do it on his own and for his self,but he will need to hit bottom first, and Im not sure he has yet? I've tried to stop my husband from drinking for many year's and finally a few year's ago I just gave up, I mean sure I still have my lecture with him from time to time regarding the danger of alcohol and how it destroy's family's and ruin's live's, but I've learned thier is nothing Im gonna say or do that will change a thing, I can walk out on my marriage today and he would'nt change a bit, sure he may stop drinking for a week or so, but in time he would be right back at it, same hold's true for drug's, as a matter of fact your boyfriend did what alot of addict's do and that is subsitute one drug for another. Also studie's show this is not just his disease, you are just as sick if not worse, you are now suffering from co-dependent behavior' this disease is a family disease, it effect's everyone in the addict's family who he or she is close to' and that would be you, I recomend that you go to a Alanon meeting, you can find a meeting near where you live if you go on line and type in Alanon meetings, I've been to a few and they do help, so help yourself and take care of you! Remember you are number 1, you are not his care taker or babysitter or mom, you are a human who deserve's much more to life then standing next to a man who does'nt want to help himself. Take Care Penelope

Answer 3

You can't help him. He has to admit he has a problem and that he is ready to do something about. Also keep in mind addicts are superior in convincing those around them that they do not have a problem, or making you feel bad if you try to help. They also may go through a rehab. to apiece those around them and once rehab is done, go right back to what they were doing.
This is why forced rehab RARELY works. As hard as it maybe, you need to separate yourself from the situation. It is most likely causing your anxiety attacks. He has to be left to fend for himself. Unfortunately, because you love and worry about him you are enabling him. I am telling you this from personal experience. I knew all this but still
did all the wrong things. I am now divorced and a single mom of two teen girls who will never forgive their father. You would also benefit from counseling to help you be strong and save yourself. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 4

First of all you need to know that you are not responsible for his actions! He is an adult. Talk to his family if you can. Talk to him face to face, if he denies that tell him to take a drug test (they should be able to detect over use). Get facts on what he is doing to his body! Like his liver which probably isn't doing so well b/c of his previous alcohol abuse. Which brings me to the point that he is still an alcoholic, he is just supplementing his addiction with something else. Where is he getting these meds from? If he has a Dr.or therapist see if you can talk to them about it, they may be unaware whats going on. Get help for yourself also b.c as you know its really affecting you. Sometimes you just can't help people you need to let them help themselves. YOU also need to take care of yourself, which means if it gets to a point where you need to leave you should. Are you going to marry this guy? Have kids? Let him know what he is doing now will effect how your children develop!!! Please, please seek professional medical attention for yourself also!

Answer 5

Run for your life in a direction that takes you far away from him.Let it be permanent and do not look back.
If you have panic attacks now,you just wait a few years.You will be suicidal.He is a mess that you cannot fix,if you think that you can;you will crash and burn.Hasn't four years of this taught you anything?You are powerless here.
You cannot bring him up,but he can bring you down.Admit defeat and go on to a better man.
I know that what I have said is harsh,but honestly;isn't he harsh as well?
Sit down and see what a life like this is worth and it is worthless.Count the costs of his being in your life.

Answer 6

Talk to him about his problem, explain to him how serious it is and how it's affecting your life. Then if he asks for help you can take him to a rehabilitation center, an AA program or look for a psychiatrist. But if he doesn't want help there's nothing you can do. Addiction is a serious illness and the first step for a person to be cured is to recognize he has a problem.

If he doesn't allow you to help him you need to leave him before he also destroys you emotionally. It's sad but if you stay you're at risk because addicts are very manipulative persons.

Answer 7

You can't help him.
He is in self destructive mode and there is nothing that you can do because he won't accept help.
Been there.
The only thing that you can do is get as far away as possible.
You aren't helping him by staying, you are only hurting yourself.
You can't save him from himself.
And if he finds you and cries about how better he is, ask him to spend 6 hours with you with no pills.
If he can do that, he has a chance, if he has excuses, just say good bye.

Answer 8

Leave him. There is about a one in thirty six chance that he will stop. All of your normal reactions are just exactly the wrong things to do.
He needs to hurt badly before he will try to get help.
You will be doing him, and also yourself, a favor by leaving.
If and when you leave, do not go back. If you go back, your credibility will be totally shot and your own life will become even worse.

Answer 9

He will die soon if he continues. 40 pills is bad enough, but mix it with alcohol, and it is amazing that he is still alive. You have to force him to go to rehab. If he refuses, call the police. if you love your boyfriend and care about him, then you need to get him into rehab before he dies. This is very dangerous. I don't mean to scare you, but the facts are scary. I hope you and your boyfriend can work this out.

Answer 10

It sounds to me like you could both use some counseling, although his should probably be a bit more intensive. Sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you're willing to help him but he has to do most of the work and he really needs to commit to treatment. If he can't do that, then leave. You need to take care of yourself and not let him drag you down if he isn't willing to help himself and take a little responsibility for himself.