You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with you're drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case - coincidence?
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you walk in.
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol, and Women
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That stupid pink elephant followed me home again.
"I'm as jober as a sudge."
The shrubbery's drunk from too frequent watering.
2007-08-25 01:51:55 · 13 answers · asked by Deedee 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
star if you like it
2007-08-25 01:52:12 · update #1
LMBO!!!
Stop!!...My sides are hurtin' from all the laughin'.
:)
2007-08-25 03:59:22 · answer #1 · answered by deiracefan_219 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those were great. Have a star.
A drunk calls the sherriff to report his dashboard and steering wheel stolen. Then he calls back to say that he just realized he was in the backseat.
2007-08-25 13:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Fancy♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Reminds me of my rugby playing days early 1980's
Absolutely brilliant!
Addition, having to shout up to your wife, "Throw the key-hole down will ya!"
2007-08-25 09:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha i love the one about 2 hands and one mouth!
2007-08-25 09:02:41 · answer #4 · answered by j dddddd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont tell nemesis
his poor old moggies will never be safe again
starred
2007-08-25 10:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMSUIAO Been there Done it all and still doing it
2007-08-25 10:05:34 · answer #6 · answered by Jim Jnr M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha thats funny, but ive heard most of them!!!
2007-08-25 09:02:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you swear that you are not under the affluence of incohol
2007-08-25 09:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ratchet 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you get in your car, attempt to start it, and wonder why your keys don't fit in the ignition. then you realize... it's not your car.
2007-08-25 08:59:36 · answer #9 · answered by running free 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Loved it....
2007-08-25 09:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by Petra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋