Help. I Feel Bad.?

Question

Just so you understand the situation, I'm a sr. in HS.

At the end of last year I met a girl who I liked alot and she liked me back. She would WALK ME to class write me notes everyday. We hung out a few times, but never did anything, even though she wanted to. The problem was she had a boyfriend and I dunno I wasn't going to do ****. Well he found out we started hanging out and got mad at her and me and we kinda ignored it and hung out a few more times. Then the summer came and I no longer wanted to do anything with her. I knew she was off limits and soon I forgot all about her. But I still couldn't ignore the fact the times I spent with her were the best times I have ever had with a girl and she told me she shared the same feeling. But she told me she would rather have me as a friend even though she still had feelings for me and didn't want to mess things up with her boyfriend.

I respected this. Near the end of the summer she started talking to me again and began hinting at things like us doing certain things. But there was no mention of it ever again. I shrugged it off. Then school started this last thursday and I didnt see her. She was upset so yesterday we found out where we were between classes. During this time she began flirting with me again. I asked if she was going to the football game and she said she wanted to go with me. So we went(I was going to go with my friends). Well it got rained out and me her and her friend went to applebees. While we were there her bf calls and says we were doing **** during the game. So he comes to applebees and gives me the death stare the whole time while I sit there all quiet in fear of talking to anyone.

Now I dunno. I really feel bad that I'm screwing things up between them even though she tells me don't worry about it(?). Sure I would like to be with her, but yea. And I'm all for not hanging out with her but shes the one who wants to hang out with me. Should I just refuse from now on to hang out with her?

Answer 1

Hell, no. She's the one in a relationship, and if she chooses to hang out with you that's as clear a sign as any that there's trouble in paradise between him and her....not your problem. My advice would be totally different if they were married or even engaged, for that matter, because that's a different level of implied commitment, but for where you are right now, if you like her and she likes you, "all's fair in love and war". (Side note: just to keep things up above board though, I would recommend to her that if she wanted to pursue this thing further that she make a clean break with her boyfriend; he does deserve that respect).

Answer 2

You seem like a very nice guy. It is her. She has a BF. If she really wanted to go out with you it would be over between them. She is really just using you to make him jelous and it is working. You should tell her that 'if you really want to go out with me why are you still with your BF? You are an amazing girl and a great friend but that is all we should be.' If she still keeps coming after you just back away slowly. See her once in a while butmake sure you are never alone and it would be best if her BF was there to see you mean what you said. Trust me he will find out about that coversation from one of her friends and it will put you in his good books.

Answer 3

You're not screwing things up between them, she is. She's obviously into you and maybe she's not willing to go steady with her boyfriend. For goodness sake, go out with her, have fun, don't worry about the other guy (she obviously isn't) but don't take the relationship too seriously, since she doesn't. No need to get a broken heart over a fling.

Answer 4

You should tell her that you don't want to mess things up with her b/f and if she is doing this now what makes you think she wont do this kind of stuff when or if you guys start to date. Think about that, would you want her to hang out with a guy when or if you go out? Is this really someone you want to be with?