Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
***************
Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees."
TWA 2341: "Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727 in a midair crash?"
***************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
Very Happy
The following is a transcript of an ACTUAL radio conversation in October 1995, between a U.S Navy ship and the British authorities, near the coast of England:
The following transcript was released by the MOD on 10/10/95:
BRITISH: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the south, to avoid collision.
U.S. NAVY: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the North, to avoid collision.
BRITISH: Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid collision.
U.S. NAVY: This is the captain of a U.S Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.
BRITISH: Negative. I say again. You will have to divert YOUR course.
U.S. NAVY: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN. THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
BRITISH: This is a lighthouse. Fuk off!!
2007-08-25 01:07:05 · 7 answers · asked by Conan 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I actually remember hearing about the last one. The others, well I've heard stranger things. This ones I'm mentioning here I read in an e-mail from a friend. It's not between pilot and tower, but notes from pilot and mechanic log books.
These are all from Quantas, by the way. The only major airline never to have a fatal crash.
Pilot log: Evidence of leak on right landing gear.
Answer: Evidence removed.
Piliot log: Something loose in cockpit.
Answer: Something tightened in cockpit.
Pilot log: Dead bugs on windshield.
Answer: Live bugs on backorder.
Pilot log: Friction stop causes throttle levers to stick.
Answer: That's what they are for, mate!
Pilot log: Auto pilot altitude hold causes 200 FPM descent.
Answer: Unable to reproduce problem on ground.
Pilot log: Right engine missing. (On a prop job. Engine was running rough.)
Answer: Right engine found after brief search.
And my favorite:
Pilot log: Mouse in cockpit.
Answer: Cat installed.
And then there is the one about the stewardess that used a rubber chicken instead of an oxygen mask to get passengers attention when giving the safety briefing.
Some strange stuff goes on out there. Like they say, truth is stranger than fiction. Ciao!
2007-08-25 01:31:22 · answer #1 · answered by rifleman01@verizon.net 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
English
2016-05-17 10:18:56 · answer #2 · answered by yetta 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hahahaha
2007-08-25 01:10:49 · answer #3 · answered by Only Me 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They were in an email that was making the rounds recently.
I do not know if they are actual conversations, but I do know they are hilarious.
2007-08-25 01:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by bgee2001ca 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whatever... they're hillarious!
Thanks for making my day... here's a star for you!
2007-08-25 01:16:56 · answer #5 · answered by ElephantHop 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hehehee yeah
2007-08-25 01:13:08 · answer #6 · answered by SmEllY! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...they're all bogus.
2007-08-25 01:12:26 · answer #7 · answered by Bill 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋