How can I deal with my unresponsive girlfriend???

Question

Okay, I love my girlfriend. We have been together for 6 years, but she has a habbit of treating me like I'm not there most of the time. She has a routene: Wake up,get coffee, work on her computer until it's time for work, go to work, come home, announce she is tired, and watch tv until she is ready to fall asleep. If I try to do anything to fit into her routene, she gets upset. I put up with it when she was in school because I thought that once she was done we would have time to spend with one another, but she just replaced school with more work. Now she is talking about marraige. I don't want to be ignored for the reat of my life!! She is a great woman, and she has helped me a lot, but I was a lot happier with our relationship when we were not living together. I want to move out without destroying our relationship. What do I do???

Answer 1

How frustrating for you. I've been in the same situation with an ex gf.
I talked to my ex gf about it many times but she just did'nt seem to listen to me or want to change her routine. I left her and she begged me for another chance saying that she'd change her ways and be more considerate to my needs. I gave her another chance but nothing changed. This was because she was comfortable with her coccooned life and routines and found it to hard to change. I finally left her for good and now I have a new girl who considers me and eventhough I still miss my ex, I'm not living with all the frustration of coming second to everything in her life. I feel free and happy.
I hope this experience of mine helps you to put your relationship into perspective a little.

Answer 2

how long have you lived with her for? because she is still most likely to her routine because she has, over time, gotten used to having no one else living with her and she has to do something like work because she is so used to her old routine of going to school.

First of all, what you might be lacking is communication. Talk to her when she gets back, in place of tv. tell her how you feel and try to hint you want her to change her routine even just a tiny bit. For example, instead of her wanting to watch tv (tv is a want, not a need in life) you can just spend time together, maybe go on a date or watching a movie on tv together, anything that you think would help the relationship. Wake up earlier than her even and get her breakfast in bed, suprise her.

If that does not work, tell her face to face again how you feel and say that you were a lot happier when you two were not living together and tell her your feelings why you want to move out. But end it or state that you still love her, it is just the fact that living together and feeling the way you are is not the way you expected and that you are not happy with it.

At least first talk to her about your feelings before you think of moving out.

Answer 3

At this point, you don't have a relationship. Is she feeling okay? Is she stressed at work? Is she bored? You two need to talk about what is wrong here.

Tell her how you feel. See if she has any answers. You may need to see a counsellor. If she isn't willing to do that, then she isn't willing to work on your relationship.

You certainly don't want to spend the rest of your life like this. Maybe you have grown apart, and it just isn't to be. But the main thing is that you two need to talk!

I hope you can work it out, and if you can't, I'd move out and move on. You have already spent 6 years of your life---don't waste any more.

And if that happens, the next time you go with a woman, don't move in together!

Good luck! I hope she will realize what she could lose.

Answer 4

thats a tough one.....6 years is a long time and it sounds like there is some kind of "written dialouge" how things work with you guys....

try talking with her, exactly what you wrote to us....write some points down....and bring those points with you on paper incase you forget or incase things get heated...keep remembering why and what you wanted to talk to her about....

if that doesnt work....maybe you guys can go to a councellor, might be easier to communicate how you feel there, they can help

she probably doesnt know how much it upsets you?

maybe she has different expectations from the relationship?

i dont know if moving out would be an answer......

think you guys need to talk about it....tell her how it makes you feel.....start the sentence with "i feel...."

goodluck :)!!!! hope things work out!

Answer 5

I would talk to her and tell her that this routine is not helping your relationship, explain fully how its making you feel... and it needs to change theres more to life than work, computer, and tv and tell her your willing to work with her but if things dont change your wanting to move out she has become too comfortable with your relationship.... give her alittle time to change... if there is no change I then would move out with the understanding its not over but you need your space....

Answer 6

sounds like she is a depressed person who needs the routine to keep her "devils" at bay. I suggest marriage counseling for you both, and do not commit to a marriage that will make you unhappy at this point.