I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 years. We're serious and have commitment from the first time. He's all good and I feel suitable with him. He's responsible, nice, faithful, honest. But the only thing is, when he's angry, he says bad words to me. I can't be angry back at him, because he'll be angrier. What makes worse is he rarely apologize, even if it's his mistakes. He's not that kind of "bend-on-one-knee" guy. I can stay for 3 years because everytime he's doing good to me, I always forgive what he's done. FYI, he's never done physical abuse. What should I do? Should I accept him with all his character, because I know that nobody's perfect? Just that one bad character of him.....but that scares me..
2007-08-24 23:29:39 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Actually I still hope that he can change. I've talked a lot with him, sometimes he turn down his tone. But sometimes not. I know his familly and vice versa. My families like him. That makes it more complicated
2007-08-25 00:24:15 · update #1
I see no problem if he doesn't take his anger out on other people. I have a really bad temper, but it is just more bark than bit. Unless it is a cheap item, then you won't see it being launched by me.
2007-08-24 23:36:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is a ticking time bomb. Verbal abuse, is still abuse. Sometimes it is harder to heal from, because the words stay in your head, and after a while you start believing what is being said. Controlling another person thru anger. You aren't allowed to comment back, or he will be angrier! So he can say and do as he pleases, and you can sit back and take the abuse. When you say you are scared, why would you want to live your life afraid? Believe me, there are nice guys out there, that will treat you nice in all ways, and allow you to be you. No one is perfect, but you don't have to settle for someone that you are afraid of. I am going to ask this question. If you talked back and defended yourself, would it then become physical? When someone will not admit they are wrong, they put them self up above everyone else, and think that they can do and say what ever they want and not suffer any consequences, If you say or do any thing that he doesn't go along with he in turn yells at you. He thinks you are beneath him, he is way above you and will talk down to you. You and everyone else deserve a better life.
2007-08-24 23:56:31 · answer #2 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really change him.. if you try to now, you'l spend the rest of your relationship trying. As long as it isn't physical abuse.. then it's not as bad. But if it's to the point he's scaring you..? that has to change, obviously. Tell him it scares you.. if not already. If he atleast tries to tone it down for you, you know he's a keeper. If he doesn't seem to make much effort, then he won't do much for you. Just do what makes you happy. Being scared of your boyfriend is not a good thing.
2007-08-24 23:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by Bliss in Ignorance 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO! You should not accept him. His temper is a big red flag. Every abuser began at just a temper and he has not been physical... just yet! but abuse is a continuum. It's ok to curse because it's not slapping; it's ok to slap because it's not punching, it's ok to punch because it's not beating and eventually the threshhold gets lower and lower and you end up bruised or dead. If you love this man, suggest counseling. If he loves you, he will go. If he wont agree to counseling, run!
2007-08-24 23:41:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
His being high-tempered is hurting your relationship. Anyone who calls you bad names when they are angry shows their immaturity. If its an issue of control then he has none and you should keep that in mind. Its OK to disagree in a relationship, but you can't be abusive. Everyone has a right to how they feel and if you feel angry you should be able to express it without being hurtful.
2007-08-24 23:40:20 · answer #5 · answered by Cheri >^.^< 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, its very true that nobody is perfect and we all have defects but if this defect the kind that you can live with or fix then, dont worry about it but if not then you should seriously do somethin about it now , you still have the choice. If you can put up with this one defect of his for the rest of your life then, go ahead otherwise, talk to him NOW!
2007-08-24 23:45:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
U say he is responsible I say B S if he was responsible he would be that way with his actions
After a while a person stops yelling aggressively then they start hitting
He needs to get help.
2007-08-24 23:47:43 · answer #7 · answered by A K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
buy yourself a set of earplugs
2007-08-24 23:35:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋