Dreams about an ex?

Question

I have been having dreams about an ex-boyfriend (my first love) periodically (about 6-8 times a year) since we broke up 10 years ago!

We ended our relationship on friendly terms (we just grew apart from one another) and never had any major fights during our relationship. I am now happily married with children, and he is married too. We didn't have any contact for the first 6 or 7 years after we broke up. He looked me up and contacted me by various sources and we exchanged a few e-mails. Now we don't really have any contact except to e-mail each other happy birthday.

The dreams are always different, but each time I have a dream about him, I wake up with an overwhelming sense of sadness and loss. Sometimes the feelings are so strong I want to cry. For the first few hours of the day I'm in a real melancholy mood.

Can anyone shed any light on this? Could the dreams mean anything? Why do they leave me with such strong feelings when I wake up?

Answer 1

It is normal, I guess...I dream about my first love periodically too. I think it's because the first love has a great impact on our lives and we musn't underestimate it. As for the melancholy, of course you feel it, I feel melancholy for many lost relationships. That doesn't mean I want them back, it only means that I remember in a bittersweet way the hopes and dreams I had back then, the way I thought it would never end, the way that person was when he cared about me. But that doesn't mean I don't appreciate my current relationship and my current partner much more, they're just memories, like the memories of childhood or teenage, of things in the past, which always make you a little sad...You just have to understand, dreams are only dreams. That's all. And you can't be held responsible for what you dream, as you do not plan it and it is in no way being unfaithful to your husband or anything like that. It's just your past, which sometimes comes back to you, like so many meaningless things come up in dreams every night, you can also expect to dream some things less meaningless in your life...

Answer 2

You're obviously a hopeless romantic like me. You probably believe in mates for life, religiously, if your like me. I had dreams for over twenty years. Of course you love them and wish it had worked out, especially since your love needs are not being met now. If you take the trouble to study emotional intelligence you can probably teach your mate and have the affair of your life, all legal and at home. When I called up mine, I lost most of my delusions real quick. They still would have been better than my choice, but oh, my. What a la de dah person they had become. We deffinitely would not have been the perfect match, maybe something in between. Of course with EI, we can be compatible with more people, The ex was a closer match, but too materialistic for my taste. I think that might be hard to cure, it's so empidemic. A little EI and you might decide love would never have worked with him either. I hope you will find a treasure where you are. And, oh the mornings after were painful. What a lot of wasted energy. lol

Answer 3

To see an old ex-boyfriend from childhood in your dream, refers to a freer, less encumbered relationship. The dream servers to bring you back to a time where the responsibilities of adulthood (or marriage) didn't interfere with the spontaneity of romance. You need to recapture the excitement, freedom, and vitality of youth that is lacking in your present relationship.

In particular, to see your ex-husband/wife in your dream, indicates that you are finding yourself in a situation that you do not want to be in. It suggests that you are experiencing a similar relationship or situation which makes you feel unhappy and uncomfortable.

Alternatively, seeing your ex in your dream also signifies aspects of yourself that you have x'd out or neglected.