Well, a while back I had a boyfriend and one night I said something and screwed up. I can't go into too much detail, but he said that he'll never speak to me again. Soo obviously he hates me and we're not together anymore.
And yesterday (almost 2 months later), he asked me how I'm doing. I'm confused..I just don't know why he's asking how I'M doing for being a jackass to me and hating me.. I don't want to talk to him, but I feel like I should answer him for some reason.
This might seem dumb to ask, and the obvious answer is probably to ignore him, but should I answer him? I feel that if I ignore him, it's not the right thing to do..the thing is, I kinda want to show him how much he hurt me. I've been wanting to this whole time. To tell him what he's done.
So the question is, should I answer him or not? And if I should, I would like some advice on what to say, please.
I'm sorry for sounding so pathetic, but no one else has been able to help me.
Thanks.
2007-08-24 19:44:40 · 11 answers · asked by Dalila Kitsune 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok, sorry if I upset some of you. I'm 13 and I'm new to this, and there ARE actual reasons why he upset me, I'm just not putting them there.
2007-08-25 09:48:34 · update #1
He has asked how you are so answering him with the truth is quite acceptable. However, you need to answer in a way that will not cause you any additional harm.
Eg I am really a lot better than I was. It took me some time to get past how hurt I was from your reaction to......... As you can see from the examples you need to own your own feelings and not lay blame with him. Not all people have the capacity to accept information about another person that conflicts with their internal belief system. And this sounds like what happened here with the two of you.
By answering him you will gain closure and be able to move past the events that took him out of your life.
Be kind to you in this and he will recognise that you are a well rounded person able to cope with negative aspects of your life as well as positive.
You go girl.
2007-08-24 19:55:01 · answer #1 · answered by sag_kat2chat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well without knowing what the arguement was about (obviously our not willing to say too much as it is probably an embarassing matter), we can't really tailor a custom answer to help you.
My general and broad advice would be to not ignore him, but also don't drag this out just to get the last word in. If all your wanting to do is give him a good ripping, your going to find the victory to be very bittersweet. There is no end or satisfaction when it comes to battling negative energy with more negative energy.
I would definitely confide onto him that you've been hurting, but as far as the choice to take him back and start anew...that is entirely up to you. Again, don't know your circumstances so it might be a total folley to take him back...but in most cases, second chances should be exercised with caution.
Best of luck to you, and hope it works out for you as well as for him.
2007-08-24 19:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by untamed_soul 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not sure how you can expect an honest answer if you cannot give details. It may be that what you said was truthful and deserved an honest answer. If he could give you no other answer than to not talk to you, how can you expect the situation to be resolved. You would be remiss not to ask why he has changed his mind. A relationship cannot be based on guessing and assumptions. Both parties should be clear as to their expectations to give an receive.
2007-08-24 19:56:11 · answer #3 · answered by Bi-cycle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not knowing exactly what heppened between you two to end up in such a sour situation saturates my ability to answer this question. However, from what I can see, even when he said that he wont ever talk to you, and he called, mean that he is willing to talk again (obviously). It depends on who did the wrong. If you did him wrong, then listen to him. Answer back. He obviously forgives you for whatever you said and is illing to put it behind. If he was the one that did you wrong, then forget him. Hes not worth your time.
2007-08-24 19:51:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont be so inmature...
Answer his question, probably he just wanted to ask you "how are you doing" in a good way, and thats all, ppl often change with the time, and regret some stupid things done...
"I dont want to talk to him" srry, but that's just lame...
you should answer him, and if you want, clear some things up, tell him what he've done if you want, but u shouldn't say such thing, just act normal, like if it didnt effect u...
2007-08-24 19:54:53 · answer #5 · answered by Casey R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not pathetic, follow your heart. Humans need closer in their life and talking to him will give you that and then you will be able to forgive and move on. Part of life is about forgiving, learning from our mistakes and then being able to grow as a person from our experiences. Good luck
2007-08-24 19:53:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,the thing is is that not many ppl will be able to help u cause we dont know what u said to him....i guess just talk to him and then later bring it up and ask why he did that...tell him that it really hurt u and u dont kno why.tell him that all he had to do was say not to say it or not to talk about it...maybe he regrets doin it or maybe he's just tryin to move on without bein mad at u...but talk to him,i think u should...good luck and hope it all works out for ya
2007-08-24 19:51:29 · answer #7 · answered by babygirl_12589 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kids see everything in black and white!
He cooled off. He isn't mad any more.
This is a cue to see if you are still interested in hanging out.
When he asks how you are doing, say "fine, thank you.... and how are you?" Maybe it could lead to going out for coffee. Talk and get to know one another.
Be confident and sociable... that is a very sexy trait.
2007-08-24 19:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok. You said something and you screwed up, then you blame him for hurting you and wanting to tell him what he's done because of what you said? You're blaming him......?
2007-08-24 19:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by skipper 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the immature thing to do would be to ignore him, especially if you screwed up orginally...just politely answer him and ask how he's doing, dont go on a rant about "WHEN WE BROKE UP YOU RUINED MY LIFE" etc....he may be trying to mend things
2007-08-24 19:50:09 · answer #10 · answered by lilmamaOH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋