Am I overreacting? Moms especially please!!!?

Question

I'm asking this here because I'm hoping to get some adult opinions on this...
My father died two years ago. My mom fairly recently met a guy she thinks she might start dating. After she met him, she had a talk with me and asked if there was anything she could do or needed to do to make her dating easier on me. I asked her to tell me when she was going out with this guy, at least while I was in her house, not because I need to approve of it or anything but just because I want to know whats going on. I told her I didn't need to know what they were doing or even necessarily where they were going, I just wanted to know that they were going somewhere.
Tonight I was going to ride along while she went to do something she had to do. She went to check her email before she left, came up like half an hour later and was like "ok, see ya". I asked her to wait so I could find my glasses before she left, and she told me that she'd forgotten I was going to go with her and she was planning to meet

this guy on the way. So I didn't go. When she got back I talked to her, she admitted she wasn't going to tell me that she was going to meet this guy, and then also told me that she'd been planning to take him to our local fair tonight but had canceled the date at the last minute. She also had not said anything to me about this and wasn't going to. I realize that this isn't my relationship and therefore none of my business, but I'm really upset that she'd said she'd tell me when she was seeing this guy and then didn't/wasn't going to. Am I totally overreacting to this? I especially want to hear an adult's, especially a mom's, point of view

Again, I don't want to know because I think she needs my approval and I've told her that. I just want to know whats going on and that she IS seeing someone.
PS - I'm 20, its not like I'm a little kid. I'm upset because I feel like this is a matter of respect and honesty, not because I think I need to define or approve or be involved with whatever she's doing.

Answer 1

Don't focus on her life, get on with yours. Your mother is entitled to her happiness. She is still alive. Let her be.
You should be happy for her. She needs your support as her daughter. She didn't forget your father's memory. I know she still loves him and a part of her died with him.
I don't mean to be straight forward but you have got to let her do her own thing.
What are you doing at the moment? Are you working, going to school? Concentrate on finding new hobbies to sustain you. Take up dancing lessons, yoga, art, or learn a new language. Worry about yourself. Figure out what ou want to do with your life. That will keep you from thinking or being negative. Everything will be okay.
-God Bless.

Answer 2

I think that maybe she is afraid you will have hard feelings toward her if she sees someone else. I understand she is your mom and that you worry about her, tell her this. Explain that you hope she does meet someone who she enjoys being around, and that the only reason you want to know that she is going out with someone is because you worry about her. Tell her that if it were you going on a date, wouldn't she be a bit concerned. Explain its not about who or what or where she is going, just that you would feel better if you knew she were out on a date, instead of worrying all night, if she had an accident on the way from the grocery store. And try going a little easier on her, she probably worries what someone will say, and if you will think she is "forgetting" your dad! Good luck, wish you both the best!

Answer 3

Ok from a mom's point of view?, your 20 , living at home and sadly your real dad has passed away .

Why you feel you need to know when she's meeting him , seeing him , is a confusion in itself you say you dont want to know the intimate details but you want the respect of knowing like you want her to come to you and say hey I'm going to meet so and so be home by?.

To be quite honest sweetheart and I know you dont want to hear it ,but your mum had/has her own parents , your the child even at 20 , she doesnt owe it to you to say anything all she has to do is say I'm going out cya later food's in the fridge , she doesnt answer to you and to me you asking for the respect of being informed is you telling her yes your moving on but I need to be asked permission 1st and seriously thats really all it boils down to.And the fact you are 20 makes it even more ridiculous you would think you have some right to disrespect your mother by wanting her to answer to you.

Go out find your own relationship , hang with your friends , get a hobby and leave your mum alone , she's lost a man she dreamt she would spend the rest of her life with suddenly that loss is never going away the pain is always there so show her the respect of allowing her to deal with her life without you acting like the senior authority on what she can / cant / should do.

And that is how the family way of life should be kids remembering that no matter what age they are , they are still the child and the parent still deserves the right to privacy and respect off the child they fed , clothed , educated and kept a roof over the head of for so many years.Show respect to earn respect its not that difficult.

Answer 4

Your reacting because she is your mother, and your probably missing your father. Understandable. But the thing is she is your mother, but she is also a Woman. She is an adult. She would probably like to have Adult conversation and/or company. That doesn't necessarily mean sex. People get lonely. This is weird for you, but I guarantee this is weird for her too. I am sorry you lost your dad, that is hard. But you have to see your mom as a person now, and as long as she isn't getting together with someone abusive or devious, or a bum that wants to move in etc. your going to have to let her make her Adult decisions without your approval, because, and I mean no insult here, it really isn't any of your business who she wants to see or not see. She doesn't have to ask you for your permission.......like I said, no insult intended, but she is a grown woman, and she's a nice lady to take the time to even talk to you about any of it...some parents would care less......

Answer 5

Presley is an fool. 5 12 months olds do no longer pay attention sometimes, and that's merely that. To exclude a 7 12 months previous from being in a image because of the fact she did no longer pay attention to you 2 years till now (without malicious purpose) is loopy. Your mom, even even with the shown fact that, is overreacting. There are idiots interior the worldwide, and you are going to be able to't pass around punching human beings out. part of growing to be up is getting to know to no longer make their issues substitute into your issues. a thank you to behave once you notice Presley? merely forget approximately approximately her. Be the greater mature one; it appears like it somewhat is truthfully no longer too complicated.

Answer 6

Give your mom some space.
Let her get her feet wet in the dating pool. It takes a while to get back into the swing of dating and she might be embarrassed about the learning curve. She is trying to save you the stress of meeting these guys. She probably wants to get to know them better before bringing them home to meet you... doesn't want to bring home a pervert that will bug you.

I do think that it is a good thing for her to carry a cell phone, in case of emergency. I also think that you two should coordinate schedules so you can watch for each other. If she's late, she should call so you don't worry. Etc.

Answer 7

From a mom's point of view,, your mother knows how sad you are after your father has past on,, she's not even sure if she's going to be with this guy for a long time,, she if just protecting your feeling's so you are not hurt again. I know that it takes time for someone to get over losing a loved one. I'm still not over my brother and that was about 2y ago.

Answer 8

I was 32 years old when my kids Dad dies in a car accident, when I finally decided to date, I always told my kids who I was going with, where I was going, and when I would be home, sometimes I called during the date to let them know I was ok. The loss of a parent to so drastic on everyone, and kids dont need to worry about the other parent, I wish you luck and a wonderfull life.

Answer 9

She is your mom. She doesn't have to answer to you about anything. She is an adult and has the right to go out without telling you where she's going who she's with etc etc. I know losing a parent is hard...its something you never get over i've been there but your mom has the right to be happy without getting lectured, interrogated or having to answer to you. You have the right to meet the guy but not but in your mom's life and demand answers or know her ever move. It's just something youre going to have to deal with she's your mom....you are not hers and she doesnt have to answer to you

Answer 10

Your mom is an adult. She can do whatever without informing you. If she told she would and hasn't then thats understandable that your upset, but overall, she doesn't answer to you. Sorry to be so blunt.