I can't stand my mum preaching! Help?

Question

My mum's a die hard christian while I'm a free thinker. Religions are fine with me as long as they don't come preaching that their god is good and how I should seek enlightenment from.

What shall I do? When I say it's going overboard she threatens to hit me!

Oh yeah...she thinks I'm going to much on the dark side (gothic...) but she thinks it's satanic. So yeah.

It's not like I never tried attending church. The songs and all just annoys me, sort of killing my head in some sense. I don't do drugs, don't hang around bad people, no alcoholic drinks for me. I'm a goody girl (I don't even date boys!)

I'm not being rebellious. Look, I know 'what can a kid like you understand such concept'? But I can. The world to me is different the way others see it. Religions are corrupted, hypocritial things that I do not want to intefere it. For me, it's the heart that matters.

My mother never sees that and blames me for not believing in the lord.

Answer 1

Well I think she just cares about u a lot. I think its alright for her to say some of that...but threatening to hit you because of it is WRONG! That is not very Christian! (I should know cause I am one). And I don't think religion/faith should be forced upon people, because then they won't choose it out of their own free will, and thus they won't be sincere about it.

Answer 2

I think the issue here is one of mutual respect. While you do need to respect your mother's religious beliefs, the same obligation is encumbent on her. I doubt that backing up any religious message with the threat of a hiding is particularly helpful.

I'd suggest you try to have a calm, rational discussion about the matter - perhaps not when you feel you've been 'preached' at - both tempers may be a little frayed at that point. Tell her that while you respect her views, you would like the same courtesy extended to you.

I don't know how old you are but, of course, there is the option of moving out of home when you are old enough to support yourself. But you may find that things will begin to sort themselves out if you keep trying to engage your mother on how this makes you feel in a respectful and considered way.

Answer 3

Don't be mad at your mother. She's doing what she thinks is right for you.

When I was in college (78-83), I had long hair, wore worn jeans and flip-flops and ripped t-shirts usually promoting some alcoholic beverage - and also usually consuming one as well. Most of my friends did lots of drugs. I have never taken even one puff of marijuana and never done any ilegal drugs. Most people thought that I was one of the biggest druggies on campus. After graduating, and before going for job interviews, I shaved, cut my hair and started dressing as an adult - became a juvenile probation officer for about 9 1/2 years.

My point is this - don't blame your mom for fearing that you are involved in something satanic. To someone unfamiliar with goth, it looks pretty satanic. Judging a book by it's cover may not be perfect judgment, but we rebels who chose to look out of the ordinary need to accept that we will be judged by what we look like, and your choice of looks scares her to her bones.

Also - how much of a mom would she be if she found God, the eternal reason for EVERYTHING. She believes with all her heart that anybody who dies without Christ will burn eternally in hell.... and then did NOT try to get her daughter that same gift?

I have three kids of my own that I love dearly. As long as they live under my roof, they will be in church every Sunday and will be in Christian school until graduation. This is not my right as a parent. It is my respnsibility as a parent.

Go to church with your mom. Read the bible. God will bless you for honoring her, whether you believe in Him or not. She cannot force you to believe, and even if she could force you to say that you believe, it counts for zero in God's eyes. God has no grandchildren. We all have the oportunity to become His children. That decision will be yours and yours alone - but your mom has a responsibility to make sure that you had the information available (meaning years of going to church). And you have the responsibility of obeying your mom.

May God bless you. I mean that.

Answer 4

1) Tell her that threatening violence is no way to persuade someone that you are offering the message of Godly love

2) Realize that, as long as you are financially dependent upon her, you will have to put up with it

3) Maybe you could agree to talk about it in a meeting set by appointment for a specific length of time every week (or month) - and not at any other time. That way she can get it out of her system all at once and you can get through it all at once.

Jim, http://www.jimpettis.com/wheel/

Answer 5

If she hits you it is abuse, no one has the right to enforce their beliefs onto another person no matter what they believe, however if you are under 18 you may have to put up with it until you moove out or a legal age however you might just try saying to her if she goes on about being christian and her belifes you will go on about yours or tell her you believe in the occult.

Answer 6

then ask her to TRUST in the SPIRIT. hehheeee I know it sounds silly, even ridiculous but you really want PEACE you need to explain it to her in HER language. Hehehee I know the feelings, been there and in some ways still am with my family.

Try to remember though that in their minds they are TRYING to love you. In many of the christian denominations, you have to be in that group or you are going to hell. In HER mind, she is trying to save you from the 'pit of hell'.

Secondly, you aren't just saying you are a free thinker. You are also telling her, "your beliefs aren't true", or at least that is probably what she is hearing.

One approach is to say "YOU raised me, YOU gave me your concepts of right and wrong, can you not trust yourself that you have given me what I've needed to help guide me? For reasons that I really don't know or can really explain, I am feeling the need to follow a different path for now. Which may lead me back with a stronger conviction."

Here are some examples of explaining 'free thinking' in christian--ese...
Exodus 4:11 The LORD said to him, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD ?

Isn't the SPIRIT everywhere in EVERYTHING?

Are you not just Seeing/Living/Experiencing as the SPIRIT NEEDs you to?

Also it might be needed to remind her that NO MAN can judge the nature of another's soul or where it is going. Even 'Jesus' said that saying you are a follower of his don't get you a 'get out of hell free card"--Mat 7:21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.

IF she is threatening violence, ask is that be a good example of being Christ-like? Is that how 'Jesus' teaches her to be?

Try to remain calm during it all, talking is better than yelling, because some things can be said in the heat of the moment, that can never be taken back.

Answer 7

Simply don't listen to her, you can still hear her though and it's not the same thing just nod. Pick out the keyword of the conversation, which is the word she repeats a lot, so when she asks you if you were even listening you can tell her what she was talking about.

Answer 8

I think your mama is trying to give you a sence of direction of which she feels is true as she had once been given/found

I suggest you do the following

buy the book below and read it and then give it to her to read to see if you can both find a new direction on Truth and creation together.. appart from that i think it makes interesting reading..

Love Always

Answer 9

You are anything but a free thinker. What you are is rebellious, young and feeling your oats, as in wild oats. I'm sure you frustrate your mom to the point she wants to throttle you. Hey, a little respect here. You eat her food, sleep in her house, she pays the bills. If you want to go to hell, move out on your own. Realize that underneath it all your mom loves you, so while you are in her house, rented or owned, you owe her respect. Yes she is overboard but that is beside the point. When you get your own place and pay your own bills then you can jolly well do what you want. Until then, no. Quit being so rebellious while you live with her. On your own, you can get on any slippery slope you want. At home with mom, curb those tendencies out of respect for your mom.

Answer 10

As long as you are a minor she has the right to tell you what to do and in this case (except for threatening to hit you) she's trying to do her job as a parant and bring you up right, which means Christian in her case.
You need to see it from her point of view. Her priority is saving your soul from the "free thinking" of an evil world. Often "free" equals "without boundaries" and children need rules which are set in stone or they grow up to be bad adults.