Would I Be a Bad Father For Helping My Son Lose His Virginity?

Question

serious question.

I personally didn't lose my virginity until really late, like 22, and felt really miserable/depressed through my teen years for being so sexless, while all my friends were getting it regularly.

Now my only son is 15, he knows about sex, and I'm sure he wants it as much as I did at his age. Would it be wrong for me to try to give him suggestions on how to pick up women. I'm not religous so I don't do the whole "save it till' marriage" crap.

I mean teach him practical things. How to suggest drinking to girls, how to mix drinks so they will get chicks drunk, which women to go after, safe sex practices, leting him have women alone in the house, supplying him with porn to study, lying to women ("I love you", etc.). Just you know, the basic strategy he'll need. I also have some books on picking up women I can read him as bedtime stories.....you get the point.

Would this make me a bad father? Or simply be something he'll thank me for when he is older?

Thanks

Answer 1

Ok, I just gotta delurk on this one. You asked for practical advice, well, here ya go.

First, what makes you so sure he's a virgin? I think the US average age is late 14/early 15, in many other countries it's lower. Has he been to parties? Alot happens in the "back rooms" you know.

Don't think "oh, I would know if he had done it." Parents are the very last to know, even when they're on the lookout.

It wasn't that long ago I was 15 (in my 30's now), and unless kids have changed alot, I guarantee you he'd rather have that kind of discussion with somebody closer to his age. I'm sorry but there's something creepy about getting practical sex advice from somebody that much older. Even if it's good advice. And quadruple that if it's his actual dad.

It sounds like part of your motivation is to be a "cool dad" in his opinion. Forget about it. You can't be that kind of cool, if you're a dad. It doesn't work, period. Give it up.

Now, some of what you have in mind IS a good idea, IMO. Safe sex, always good. And that's something you can do as a dad without creeping him out too much. I would buy him condoms. Don't try to explain what they're for or how to use them. He already knows, and anyway it's not rocket science. Just buy him a big old 12-pack of Trojans, hand it to him, and say something like "I would've been totally embarrassed to buy these myself when I was 15, so I thought I'd save you the trouble". Then walk away... slowly, in case he wants to strike up a conversation about it, although he probably won't. Now THAT is being cool.

I don't know what kind of books you have on picking up women, but if they aren't too Neandrothal (sp), you could leave them lying around where he can borrow them for a day or 2. If the books are stuff like you have in mind (how to get chicks drunk, how to lie, etc.) sorry but I personally think that's being a jerk.

If you have a book on how to treat women like PEOPLE, much better. There is nothing incompatible with getting laid, and being decent before & after.

As for the rest, the porn etc. -- lay off that. As alot of people have pointed out, you could get in big trouble with the law and with pissed off parents of some (un)lucky girlfriend.

Lastly, it sounds like you're assuming he's ready. Just as he might be a nonvirgin from age 12 onward, he might also be ok with waiting till he's 18, or 22, or whatever. It's HIS decision, not yours. And only he knows what's inside his head.

BTW, don't cry any rivers about waiting till you were 22. I lost my virginity at age 12, and now I wish I'd waited at least a few more years. (I had a 15 year old gf, long story). I did it enthusiasticly enough, but I felt weird afterwards. And I ruined the relationship. Too immature. I wasn't ready mentally or emotionally, just physically. It made my life alot more complicated for about 4 years. The kid's gotta be ready, and nobody knows but him. You might think you do, but no parent does.

You got alot of not so helpful replies, I hope this helps.

Answer 2

Is he so ugly he has to roofie a girl to get her to screw him? Plus most parents would be pretty pissed if their 15 yr old daughter came home telling them about this kid who's dad told him to drug her so he could take advantage of her. Might as well buy him a hooker, if your willing to get a minor drunk so your VERY YOUNG son can have his way with her. Encouraging lying and just that whole paragraph is not only slightly scary that a parent would actually do this to a little girl and is going to F him up big time in relationships. Obviously you are a single parent since you have no respect for women? I dont think your a bad father, I think you are a bad person all together for thinking any of those things would help your son with women. Obviously you didn't get laid in high school because you are an idiot. Seriously, "Hey son!! Women dont have feelings! They just have a hole! Thats all they are good for and you need to do anything you have to do to get it" Great morals. People like you are why 12 year olds are coping rape charges.

Answer 3

The thing I have a problem with is letting him drink at 15. 18 maybe because he'll be an adult, but not 15...that can cause problems. And lying to women, that's shameful. If he's mature enough to have sex, then he's mature enough to tell them the truth. Lots of women want sex and not love anyway, so what would be the purpose? Teaching a KID to drink and lie to women, and get them drunk to have sex with them (does RAPE mean anything to you?!?) that would make you a bad father.

Teaching safe sex is just fine-- but everything else you want to teach him is wrong. He's going to turn out as a bad human being if you teach him anything in the third paragraph!

So teach him safe sex-- the other stuff is just sleazy.

Answer 4

I think that you would be a BAD father if you did that.
I think that you should take a speritual aproch to chastity. It is not good to teach your child to think of women as sexual objects. Why would you encourage that kind of behavior? You should teach him to respect women, not treat them like some kind of game to be played, a prize to be one. I think that is wrong. I'm also not saying you should tell him to wait till he is married. But at tell him to wait untill he really cares for the girl. his experence wont matter if he already has an emorional connection to her. Giveing him porn is ok, cause he will have needs to relive but you should tell him to use that insted of chasseing women.

And if you do the things you said up there then he will most likely feel like you a pressureing him and if he happens to not be able to get layed for one reason or another or is nervous cause he thinks you expect it from him or something. And you shoulden't encourage your teenage son to drink... The safe sex practices talk is a good idea, Trusting him alone in the house with women will build his confedence and help him be more independent...

And 15 is to young for boys cause they normaly aren't emotionaly stable enugh for a real relationship and if an "acedent" happened and a girl got pregnant then you would have to watch kids for several extra years cause most likely the girl will be 15 too and 15 year olds CAN NOT take care of children.

Answer 5

First of all, "would this make me a bad father" makes it sound like you think you're a good one now. Wake up, you're retarded. There are deeper issues here as well, like viewing women as objects, sharing pornography with your child, acting like he needs a "strategy" like getting girls drunk to have sex...I could go on and on, and it's quite disturbing. Perhaps the example you have already set has made him shy away from the cheap, pathetic views you have regarding relationships and women in general, and if that's the case, he has more sense that you do, so leave him alone. Either get your head out of your a** or put a window in your bellybutton so you can see where you're going. And get some parenting books.

Answer 6

Traditionally when a father did this he just went out and bought his son a hooker for his 16th birthday .It's stll the right way to do it because it's an honest upfront front cash transaction.
Once you get into all that illegal stuff about corrupting the morals of a minor by providing alcohol to underage people you will open up a legal can of worms that you're not gonna be able to close w/ o some very expensive legal help ,therefore the hooker is cheaper.
Fly to Las Vegas ,drive the hour to Parump and get him something clean & legal

Answer 7

Yes. The things you mentioned are not things that you should be teaching your son. I'm sure most teenage boys feel like you did when you were younger (miserable or depressed) but it's only because of hormones and adolescence, not because they aren't getting any. It's alright to talk to your son about sex, safe sex, and about hormones and growing up. But teaching him about alcohol, lying to women, and egging him on to have sex before he's even ready is just downright being an irresponsible parent.

Answer 8

Umm do you have any morals? Seriously teaching a 15 year old how to get girls drunk to get laid. Teach him about safe sex yes. Teach him the proper way to TREAT a lady. Give him a few pointers possibly about certain aspects of the experience (make sure he knows if she don't leave happy he won't get happy again). But don't encourage him and make him think he has to have sex. One real good reason is if he gets a girl pregnant who do you think will be paying for it? Or another one is with all the STDs out there do you think its safe?

Answer 9

Helping your son by teaching ways to pick up girls is not bad, but teaching him how to get them drunk so he can take advantage of them is terribly wrong. Teach how to charm girls or how to be a good decent person not how to be an *******. It would be better if you helped him find women and appreciate them not disrespect them. It would be in his better interest in the long run, cause you dont' want him to be miserable and not have anybody in his life His WHOLE life. Just teach him how to be a good person and how to be confident in himself. Women are great. Remember your mother was a woman and would you want your son to disrespect and hurt someone like her

Answer 10

You should be teaching your son to RESPECT women, not how to be a womanizer or a creep!.

Also, if your son is underage, some of those things you are talking about doing are actually illegal. It's considered contributing to the delinquency of a minor...or child endangerment! So not only would it make you a bad father, it can make you a criminal, too.

Your idea isn't so original btw. Back in the days of the Old West, there were men who took their teenage sons to "cathouses" or down to Tijuana to "break 'em in proper" and many of those young men were often traumatized for life because their father basically let the prostitute rape them.