When people are rude and ill-mannered towards you - does that make you anxious?

Question

I suffer mainly from anxiety disorder, social disorder and dermatillomania.
I work in a nightclub part-time and have difficulty commmunicating with my workmates. However, when it comes to asking favours I have always found it much easier to just not bother because I feel too embarassed. I do anything that needs doing myself. Now, when it comes to people asking me for favours I'll do it without question. But when you get people patronising you over a particular task, although done correctly to my knowledge of bar tending (since I was 18, I am 23 now), it makes me feel anxious.

A workmate points at till screen and says "use other till for now" (admin screen was on, so I thought my manager was using it!). so I do. then 5 minutes later I ask her if I'm now free to use it. She says "erm ya! don't you know that your meant to use the till you were allocated to"... I looked on stunned as that is what I was doing originally before she told me otherwise.

Thanks guys.

I am a very quiet guy. I just get on with my job and know all of my duties perfectly well. I just don't like people patronising me just because I am new in this place. Just because I am new it doesn't necessarily mean I am inexperienced.

The person who patronises me is 5 years younger than me. I suppoe I shouldn't fall for her naivity.

I think you guys are right. I'll try to stick up for myself and lay down the law. But when I try, it doesn't come out properly.

Answer 1

Hahaha!! You sound just like me! You have to learn to stand up for yourself. I try, but it's really hard. I hate to make people mad and don't want anyone to think badly of me.

I don't know what to tell you other than we just can't take cr@p from people and we have to learn not to let every situation throw us out of whack.

Answer 2

Don't let the fact that you have some anxiety problems fool you into thinking you are bringing this on yourself.
I know that I shouldn't let people get to me. I advise others every day on subjects like that and guess what?
I am just as lame as everyone else when it comes to me!
You know that you are good at your job. Maybe this young lady cannot deal with someone who is not incredibly outgoing and bubbly . She may find you intimidating and does not consciously slight you. It is just protective cover for her.
Learn to smile inside yourself when something like this happens.Accept that you may well be hard act to live up to as you quietly and conscientiously do your job.
Oh and teach yourself that you can ask favours. People like to feel needed!

Answer 3

Things like that make me feel anxious and really self-conscious. You're not alone :)

If you think that changing jobs will completely get you away from this though, you're wrong. Most places have people like this, but you might get lucky. However, the disorders you mentioned make me think that working in a nightclub isn't really where you'd want to be working.

Good luck !

Answer 4

i was working in retail and they used to do exactly the same to me, all day long. some people were so sour faced i cud punch them

i left over a week ago and what a relief. ask urself if u really need this money for the part time gig, and if not, get out with ur dignity. i was earning pennies to be belittled and treat like dirt, whilst knowing i had a degree and smarter than all of them

Answer 5

thats makes me mad and id flip out at the lady look in the papers for a new job start lookin out there so u dont have to put up with that

Answer 6

Yeah when people are rude to me I usually lash out it takes ALOT to hold myself back. I have severe Anxiety, severe depression and "acute" bi-polar disorder.

Answer 7

No it makes me cross and i have to say so

Answer 8

yes, it happens to a lot of people. my trick is to remember that he's just another person, just like you. just another employee, just like you. we're all equal ; )

Answer 9

it makes me go mad