Husband to Korea for a year, or 3 if I go. Should I stay or go?

Question

My husband is leaving in November for Korea for 12 months. He doesn't know what base yet. My children and I can go with him if we go for 3 years, instead of just him going for 1 year. He wants to go by himself so he is only there for a year. What is your advice?
I would appreciate to hear from people/spouses who have been stationed in South Korea and their experiences.

Answer 1

I lived in Korea for 6 years back in the 70's and 80's. Since then, there is a lot of anti-American sentiment and the place is polluted and crowded. However, if you can put up with the negatives, living in a foreign country is a great experience that gives you a completely different prespective on life in the United States.

Answer 2

You never said what service you are affiliated with. This will make a difference as to where you will go in country, which can make a huge difference. While active duty AF I went to Korea and I liked it. It's true - it is crowded, it can be backwards, but - it can also be as modern and exciting as any place else; ie Seoul. The exercise schedule there is brutal and there is some anti US sentiment. Depending on the quality of your spouse and your relationship, many spouses run the risk of infidelity due to loneliness coupled with the party/booze/prostitution scene if unaccompanied. If you are thinking of staying behind then consider this - it will be hard for all of you. But, the year will pass relatively faster than say 3yrs in a place you might hate. My DH and I just had this discussion recently, 1yr versus 3. We made our minds up that if his orders dropped for 1 we would suck it up and let him go alone. Less disruption for the kids' schedule and such and greater chance for getting a follow on of our choice. We took into consideration how often we would want to go through the emotions of reconciliation and seperation - with visits and short tour leave (depending on your financial situation, you could see each other 2-3times a year) and decided on short tour leave only. Less traumatic. Also, don't forget to take into consideration how your children adjust to not being around gramma, aunties, uncles, etc, how they deal with new places and experiences and compare it to how they adjust to dad being gone. Not an easy decision. Now on the flip side my dear friend spent over 3yrs there w/ her DH (Army) and her 2 girls and loved it. She put her girls in a local school, where they learned the culture and language. They took the opportunity to travel to China, Thailand, etc. They were also stationed near Seoul and now wants to go back. Don't listen to all the superficial talk about money - think of your long range plan and decide which option will fit it best. Good luck!

Answer 3

Go with him. I spend a year in Korea and had a great time. There is alot to see and do. I can be a really good experience if you make the best of it. Don't let him go by him self. I was single when I went and did a lot of partying. I saw alot of guys end there marriage there but keep in mind that military tours in Korea have changed alot and I am in the Army. Good Luck.

Answer 4

My ship visited Korea once...only stayed for a week.

It has some beautiful countryside, and the people can be nice....much better than the Japanese, where I spent a significant amount of time.

If he wants to go by himself though....I don't know, maybe go with that. If you have some extra money you could arrange a vacation there at some point.

Also, if it was me, the decision might be made considering the ages and number of children. Stability is good. If they are already in a good school, and have friends, they might be happier to stay anyways.

Good luck!

Answer 5

bypass to South Korea alongside with your husband. don't get caught on base. there is too plenty to determine and do in SK - rich lifestyle, history, procuring, and all varieties of issues to locate. examine up on the country - recover from to the library impressive away & commence. Korean is a confusing language, yet purchase a Rosetta Stone or Pimsleur software and initiate studying some thing. don't be a stick interior the airborne dirt and dust. Have an incredible journey. the only factor you will sorely remorseful approximately isn't taking benefit of a marvelous risk. Get going!

Answer 6

you will either LOVE it, or HATE it. Going OCONUS is a fantastic opportunity, as long as you go with an open mind and be ready for anything. But Korea is a far cry from Japan or Germany. the infrastructure there is fragile at best. Housing is sub par across the board. and then there is always the possibility that he will get sent to the DMZ, which makes it a moot point.. you won't be going,Command Sponsorship or not. and if Kim Jon Il gets a bee in his bonnet, well, you could end up in the middle of a shooting war.

Answer 7

I would suggest staying stateside. The country of Korea isnt where I would want to raise kids or take my family. Its not the most hygienically correct place, they deter you from taking young kids there because there are diseases and stuff that they cant be vaccinated for when they are young. Also I dont think you would want to stay there 3 years, most military personnel can handle one year, but not 3. Something else to bear in mind is that Korea is at a cease fire, not a truce. The South can go to war with the North at anytime, and you would be stuck in the middle of it. Your husband probably doesnt want to stay there 3 years and thats why he said he doesnt want you to go. Also to look out for the welfare of his fmaily.

Answer 8

A year is a short time for an over seas assignment, and if you have a strong marriage it should last OK according to my experience. However, you sure need an understanding of what is fair for you or he to do while you are separated.
Most men need the attention of a woman, obviously, but I mean just being with them. There is no harm in that and the other way around. But, you need to make the rules clear and realistic. Counseling is recommended!
But the best thing would be to trust each other to take care of yourselves and don't ask a lot questions when you get back together. But, can you and he handle that, or do you trust each other that much, or can you?

Answer 9

Let him go for a year and come back. It'd be like a normal deployment.. only shorter now.. well if he's in the army. You'll also get extra pay while he's "deployed" because the military doesnt want to pay you extra money. And if he's a good boy and doesnt drink too much, you should be able to save up some good money... if you're into that kinda thing. Also i wouldnt go if i were you.. men will be hitting on you left and right, even if you are married.. they dont care. Might p*ss your husband off pretty good... so if i were you.. i'd just let him go for a year and come back and treat it like a deployment. Because when hes in korea.. he could get sent to iraq from there anyways.. then what are you going to do.. sit in korea for a year while he's in iraq? Screw that!!!

Answer 10

Well the deal is if you come he will end up down south which is good because its a lot safer and a whole lot more fun. I know a lot of people who hated Korea but i loved it over there the Units are great an cohesive and the Korean people are really friendly. Additionally you can travel all around Asia very cheap which of course is great.