I'm 23. My mother just died. What's normal and when do I get back to normal?

Question

She just died 6 days ago and I am back to work but I can't concentrate and sometimes I just go numb. I tried to go out with friends last night and I ended up crying in the middle of a barnes&noble because of a book title. I am not close with the rest of my family so grieving together is not an option though my friends are trying to be supportive. It's not all bad but I don't know what to expect because this is my first real loss. How do I work through it and how long until I feel normal again?

Answer 1

It is not a forever good-bye...but...I'll see you later. I have lost many people in my life (18 within 3 years) but it seems that they are just away on vacation having a great time and on Resurrection Morning there is going to be the biggest party and family reunion ever. Read it in 1 Thessalonians Mmm

Answer 2

Oh my yes, this is normal! Yes it is! The loss of a mother is always devastating, always, but Especially as you described. Give yourself some time. People grieve over their moms for the rest of their lives. Don't despair, though. Let people know how you feel, and they'll try to "mother" you. That will be some comfort. When the pain is real bad, let yourself just stop everything for a few minutes, "have a cup of tea," and go ahead and "wallow in it" 'til you're able to go on (it won't take long. Find yourself some "siblings." Tell them that's what they mean to you. (Male and female, any age you like.) Just make yourself a family, girl. You sound like a great kid. Anybody'd be proud to have you for a "daughter."

Answer 3

Hon, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my son 2 and 1/2 years ago, he was 26. I had to take off 6 weeks from work and I eventually left the job I had for something else because I couldn't take the chaos in the office I was in. Know that everyone grieves differently. What may upset you, may not upset a cousin or other family member. You must take the time you need and I can't tell you how long that will be. Yes there are things that remind me of him. In the beginning, it was very difficult. Now it is difficult. I will not say that time heals because I cannot say that is true. But hang in there and I wish you the best and I am so sorry for the loss of your mom.

Answer 4

You will never be the same person you were- when your Mom was alive; because losing her has just changed your life- & thus, YOU. Six days is a VERY short time to begin to "get over" someone- especially someone as close to you as your mother. Before you can even BEGIN to establish what your new "Normal" is going to be- you're going to have to work through your feelings about your loss, & what it means to YOU. This will take some time- & that can't be rushed. And THEN, at some point in the future (sometime next year, or the year after- or whenever), you're going to wake up one day- and you're going to realise that your LIFE- is "going on". THAT day- will be the FIRST day- of your next "Normal" life. I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there- And good luck.

Answer 5

Give yourself a break. Good lord, if it's only been 6 days you need to take care of yourself. Maybe you need to take a few more days off work and have a good chance to grieve properly. I don't think it'll ever go away, the pain of losing someone close to you, however, you can remember the good things in life that bring great memories of that person. Always hold them dear to your heart and never forget the lessons they've taught you in life. Take it one day at a time...it'll get easier, but I'd say it hasn't been very long and you probably should slow down and take a few days to sort yourself out. It will take time.

Answer 6

I was 17 when I lost my mom, I'm now 36. I had episodes of crying that I could not control too. I started crying in the middle of the ceiling fan section at Lowe's once. The most important thing to remember is to know that you are allowed to have any feelings that you want now. You don't need to worry about acting "appropriately" for other people. And you will feel normal again and in fact better than that, because what is making you feel weak now will make you feel strong later

Answer 7

I feel your pain I lost my daddy when I was 21. He went too the hospital sick they said he had cancer and literally 6 hours after finding out he died. He was an old stubborn guy who wouldn't go to the dr. Anyways it takes time each person is different. I can't tell you when you will be ok I had a child too take care of I had too pick myself up it has been 4 years and there is still times I feel a lump in my chest. I will keep you in my thougts read this website it was nice

Answer 8

I'm sorry for your loss. There is no time frame. Everyone is different. Think about what your mother meant to you and what she would want you to do. Rely on your friend, they can help you a lot and just grieve, cry all you want I am sure she will be terribly missed. You will be fine.

Answer 9

hi,im sorry for the loss of your mom, my heart goes out to you,i lost my mom almost 11 yrs ago,and to tell you the truth im still not over it,she was my best friend.its going to take time so dont rush anything,one day you will feel ok then the next you will cry all day,,everyday is going to be different.its normal to have thoses emotions,we all grieve differently.if you need to talk to someone you can email me at [e-mail]..take care.

Answer 10

I'm 15 going threw the same thing,,u are probably in shock...it gets better over time.....things will never be the same again...but u will adjust to the change....i know its hard my mother was my best friend....u probably feel lost....idk probably alone...but shes been gone for 4 mons and I'm just startn to feel a Lil better.................I'm sorry i know u r tired of hearing that by now...but from the bottom of my heart i am