being single mother how to treat teenager daughter who is in affairs & no interest in studies?

Answer 1

DEAR IT IS VERY DIFFICULT TO ADVISE TEENAGE. BUT ULTIMATELY SHE DAUGHTER AND NOT MATURE ALWAYS TELL HER RIGHT THINGS AND OBJECT ALWAYS HER WRONG STEPS ONE DAY SHE WILL UNDERSTAND YOU. IT IS DIFFICULT BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE.

Answer 2

Really a tough situation as sorry to say you have not bought up properly the reason could be many.

A single mother can teach a daughter so many lessons from her past experiences from the very beginning.

But since she is in a ffair and now you are worried and the most important part of her carrier she is not interested in studies, just advise to mend her by talking to her frankly like a friend and her future prospectives and what she want to do and what she has thought about her, or you can put in some third person like her grand parents, uncle, aunt or whom she is close to for help.

Answer 3

My father was a single parent of two teen daughters after their mother dies several years ago. he ended up with one who is a drug using, wastrell who believes she can do nothing other than use her looks and body to get what she wants and another who is completely scatter brained and ran off to marry a guy several years older than her that she couldn't even date for more than 3 months without an argument and break up.

Most of this came from them being told how pretty they were but never how smart they were or that they needed to bring their grades up to what they were capable of. (not straight A's but they could BOTH have managed at least a solid B average rather than one dropping out and the other barely passing by the skin of her teeth and a poor government school system.)

Remember that they need you to be a PARENT and not a friend. Set limits and enforce them. Set a curfew, if she breaks it, grounding. (nowhere outside teh house other than school and back or church. ) No car, no cell phone or PDA, no computer without supervision etc during the grounding.

Insist on meeting the person or people she's going out with if/when she isn't grounded and try to meet their parents as well.

If she proves she can't be trusted, make sure her mobile phone has a lo-jack chip installed and use it.

As soon as she's 10 min. late for curfew, call her every 10 minutes untill she walks in the door.

No yelling or whining. Remind her that untill she's 18 at least, and under your roof, you are the boss and it's your rules.

Call Dr Laura and get advice from her too. You can find a list of radio stations that carry her in your area or possibly even listen in on line at www.drlaura.com

She also has a good reading list on the site you may find something that will help there too.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, teach her by setting the example. Act in a way that you want her to finish growing up acting (self respect, self confidence, and independance rather than dependant on others for her worth or value and support)

Answer 4

u have to be strict and if possible put a pause on her outdoor activities with a tab on money . See ur self also as why u r single ( divorcee or widow or single mother) ....? This has direct impact on her behaviour. What about the habits of her father ( real father) ? Answer lies in ur own personal profile ?

Answer 5

You have to win her heart by showing love and affection and counsel her about the need to concerntrate on studies. Invite her boyfriend for a one to one talk in friendly way and request him to use his influence on her to pay attention to studies etc. This is a difficult age and no amount of pressure tactics will work. You can also use her best friends to help you to find a solution.

Answer 6

Take her somewhere depressing where no one looks like they are doing well (homeless areas, shelters, etc...) Let her know this is what can happen to her if she doesn't buckle up. Make her get a job or take up some type of extra curricular where she could meet some kids that are of better influence. School sports are a great place. Eventually she'll figure it out, if she hasn't already.

Answer 7

Initially let me make you feel absolutely normal about the dilemma that you are going thru', by saying that it does happen in many Parent/s - Teen Child relationship and hence its not a matter to worry about (because every problem has a solution) but certainly you need to be seriously concerned and handle the situation with Care, Tact, Empathy and Persistence.
We all have to go thru various stages of growth in life. Infancy - Toddler - Teenage/Adolescence - Adulthood. Every stage mentioned teaches and exposes the individual to various experiences which then leave a distinct impression on the minds of the individuals. Each experience we go thru and the way we feel and perceive each of the experiences of life, we build certain benchmarks/bookmarks/notions/opinions about them which kind of become stronger as time passes by.
The transition from each of the stages of life as mentioned above is very subtle and gradual, so often the individual himself/herself doesnt observe it or understands it from the right or wrong point of view, but only from the sheer feel and the consequent changes that they experience as a result of progressing from one stage to other. So often the individual develops an opinion or a deep confirmation is set in the mind about the FEEL-GOOD or FEEL-BAD experience of each stage. So if the teen feels good about being in affairs...he/she shall continue to explore and experience and thus derive the pleasure and pain out of the same.
So as an adult its the concern and the duty of the parent/s to step-in (not "intervene" or "dictate") and help the teen to understand the various nuances or pros & cons of the thought, feeling and conduct of the teen about a particular issue - as in your daughters case - about having affairs. You can make her understand by not imposing your view but by helping her view to be aligned to your view/opinion and the way the situation is and the effects of the same. You can take help of real-life stories, incidences, personal experiences, or show her some identical cases and the consequences those cases have to go thru because of their conduct. A whole lot of information is also available in form of books/magazines and the web of course.
Please understand its a very delicate process and you need to go about it with absolute care and empathy and give yourself and your daughter time to change things about herself or her life. But you also need to re-inforce the good value system and constant encouragement should be offered so that your daughter can go thru the change process and look forward towards the change. Take care and all the very best. I am sure you would be able to achieve the objective.

Answer 8

It is very difficult in telling anything to teenage girls, especially single parent. You can take her to good counselling centres and good teachers to whom she has got respect and understanding and ask them to advice. If you have any elders , they can also speak to her. You can even ask your ex-husband to give her advice. The need of the hour is very good advice and she should realise her duties and education. All the best, I also pray for her welfare. Yours VRVRAO

Answer 9

put her in juvie for awhile and let her sit there. i would also find out if shes using drugs you can test her at hosp. shes too young to be doing this type of stuff and you need to put the foot down or maybe she will leave. i guess that is all you can do.

Answer 10

Talk to her in the soft way
Teach her about the proper manners
Give her some advices
Make she feels that you are her friend and she can talk anything to you

Make it clear about limitations for the affairs.

Everthing is in the soft way.
It's very important.
Love makes people blind and deaf

Answer 11

try to support in her activities and along with explain what result will come in near future .... she will automatically change if she at first get all the support for her target .... she should understand first about her activities .....