Should I feel guilty?

Question

So I'm a mother of two and I have the luxury of being home with them every day. I do, however, want to get out of the house sometimes just to have some "me time" but everytime I make arrangements to do something, I always feel really bad about leaving the kids. Even if it's just with their dad for a short amount of time. Should I feel guilty for this? And if not, how do I stop feeling so guilty?

Answer 1

No, not at all. Its quite normal.

Answer 2

No, you shouldn't feel guilty, but it's normal that you do. I still feel guilty whenever I'm out without my son and get some takeout or something, because I feel like I'm spoiling myself, and he doesn't get to. The way that I deal with the guilt about being away from son is that I just keep telling myself that I deserve a little me time, and that my child is probably having a blast with whoever they are with. I know exactly what you mean though, it feels like you are being selfish, when in fact, you are, but for a good reason. I remember when I was a stay-at-home: when my son first came home from the hospital, he couldn't go outside for the first 4 months, because it was winter, and he was born 3 months early, so he could get a cold, and it become serious very quickly. This left me to stay at home with him and my husband when he got off of work, day in and day out. It drove me nuts. I started becoming very moody, and unpleasant.

We both know that you can love your child with all your heart, but still need some quiet time to get relax, and not be around all the chaos! Just tell yourself that your "you time" is helping you to be a great, and sane mother! Go have a good time!

Answer 3

Just think of staying home as an actual job (even though that sounds a little harsh)...everyone else gets a break though right? At least the weekend! So consider that you're only taking a "weekend" and have fun. Because the second you come home missing them, feeling refreshed, & ready to play--they will never remember you were gone! It'll give you the time you need, them time to get a little mischievous while mommies not home, & you will come back better than ever! Besides, if you don't get out sometime--especially with your husband--you'll be worrying about more than staying back with the kids! Treat yourself, you deserve it & so do your kids!

Answer 4

NO!!! No no no!! You should not feel guilty!! :-)

You will be a better parent if you keep yourself in shape emotionally. Every mommy needs breaks.

If you need more reassurance that time for yourself IS being a good parent, read the book "Are We Having Fun Yet?". A mother of 10 kids wrote this book and I'm loving it!

Answer 5

Oh precious you should not feel guilty at all. You definitely deserve some me time! You should try and find a really good Moms group in your area and try to go on some MNO(moms night out) It really is good for you. I don't know how to make you not feel guilty except to tell you that you deserve this and every other mom out there feels the same way-well the normal ones anyway..lol

Answer 6

You shouldn't feel guilty but I feel ya. I too feel guilty everytime i leave my kids for more than 5 minutes. My mom has offered many times to watch the kids for me to have a break and I start to take the break and then i miss my kids or feel guilty for leaving them. I am a single mom and i don't date becasue i feel guilty leaving them with my mom just to go out with a guy.

Answer 7

Here's a perfect analogy to help you not feel guilty: when you get on a plane and they go over the safety instructions, they tell you "in the event of loss of cabin pressure, secure your own oxygen mask before you help your child." This is because you won't be any good to your child if you don't take care of yourself. You need a break, and they also need a break from you to learn how to be with other people and that they can be o.k. without always needing mommy around.

Answer 8

No yuo shouldnt feel guilty at all. I am 14 and my mother is a stay at home mom during the week she does everything for me and my sis and drives us everywhere does a lot for us i am actually happy when she gets the chance to relax and have a life for herself. Dont feel guilty if you are a good mother there is nothing to worry about you are a person and you need time to yourself to relax. You may feel guiltly and your kids may be angry at some level but dont worry they will relize at one point you need to relax and what you do as a mother is very hard. dont worry enjoy yourself when you can but also dont avoid your kids and enjoy yourself too much!

Answer 9

(I mean this nicely) Get over it. When you worked, and you took a lunch break, did you feel guilty about leaving work? Its normal to feel like you need a break, and normal to feel guilty.

Just realize that mommy needs adult alone time, just like everyone else in the world. (Unless you are ditching out on them every day for hours, or every night, etc, of course.) YOu are probably a better mom for having a little time to recharge. Even if your recharge is going grocery shopping alone.

Answer 10

I know what you mean, I use to be a stay at home mom, but when I got a job, I felt guilty too, I feel like I'm abandonning them, but I eventually thought it over, I work so I can buy them toys etc. But every mother deserve a "me time". So you shouldn't feel guilty.

Answer 11

Guilt and anxiety feel a lot alike. "Should" you feel guilty for needing "me" time and finding a way to get away for a bit? No. Is it normal to feel anxious when you leave your children, even with their dad? Of course. Do you trust their dad to care for them adequately in your absence? Is there a way he can reach you quickly if something goes wrong? Do you call back to check in from time to time? Do you share your time away with the children by telling them entertaining stories about what you were doing? Do you bring them little mementos? Do they make you little gifts while you're gone? (Do they make their dad little gifts while he's gone?)