Should we break up?

Question

My gf and I have been going out for over 2 years. For the last few months, we have kinda been on and off. For the last couple of weeks, we have been fighting almost everyday. Every time we make up and stop fighting, it's as if nothing has ever happened. So I guess you can say our relationship is extreme. It's either we're really happy or really sad/ angry at each other.

Everytime we fight, it feels as though I want to break up. And we fight about stupid things (I.E. I forget something, I do something she doesnt like...) At all other times, I love her so much, I wouldnt even think of breaking up.

I know this might be a little confusing to some (I'm not big on explaining situations), but what should I do?

Answer 1

sometimes 2 people just aren't meant to be together - I'm not a fighter but I went out with a girl that I loved a lot but we always fought over dumb stuff like where the remote was at, why did you park there, turn off all these lights, blah blah blah - after a while, I just got tired of the drama - I know exactly what you are going through and the toughest thing to do is walk out on someone that you do actually love - do what is best for you in the long run and good luck

Answer 2

It sounds to me like there is a build-up of gunk in your relationship. I don't think it's unfixable, but I don't know all the details of your relationship either. It's kind of like a glass that gets that lime film on it. After so long it builds up so much that you can hardly see through the thing so you have to clean it really good with vinegar and then it stays clean for a long time. Maybe all these little fights you've been having have just left a nasty residue on your relationship and it's time to give it a thorough cleaning. That could be taking a break from the relationship, getting away together as a couple, or maybe even counseling to deal with some of the things you've been fighting about. If this relationship is really important to you, you'll work it out. If those things seem like to big a pain in the butt it's time to move on to something new.

Answer 3

I don't think you really need us to tell you that fighting every day is not a good sign. The really happy times might still be enough to outweigh the bad ones right now, but eventually, you're going to get so worn down by the bickering, that won't be the case any more.

Next time you two get into a fight and make up, something does have to change: you have to figure out what caused the fight (both the immediate trigger and any underlying issues) while you're calm, and work out a strategy for not letting it happen again or defusing it before the situation explodes. If that sounds deeply unappealing, or one of you doesn't want to put in the work, I'm afraid it may only be a matter of time before it ends.

Answer 4

That's not confusing, that's how it is sometimes. I don't think you should break up because you obviously really love her. At some stage you are just going to get tired of fighting... it happens eventually and 1 of 2 things will happen..
you will both stop fighting and choose happy things to talk about instead of just finding crap to fight about OR you will be just so exhausted you will throw away what could be good if you both did number 1.
Really take note of why you are fighting and if it really isn't important then just choose not to fight back, walk away if you have to.

I think you should only split if the issues you are fighting about are anything to do with morals or values either of you might have, that's completely different than just fighting over trivial stuff.

Answer 5

Listen this is just like one of my best friends. We fought everyday and when we made up it seems like noting happened. I know loving someone is so hard to forget its just like a crush you always can't get over it. If she was a real girl friend she wouldn't get mad at you for doing something she doesn't like if she was a real gf then she would say politly that she doesnt like that. Not a huge argument. On and off relationships never work out. Give it a couple of days and try to get along and if that doesnt work then i think it is time to move on. It isnt worth anything if she keeps breaking your heart.

Answer 6

I understand what you are saying and its really hard. But you guys need to learn to communicate when you are upset. I know because my husband and me been through the same thing before we got married.

Either yall made for each other or yall are wasting each others time. At this point in your relationship you can't have this conversation with her.

Maybe you need to be counsel by a professional and even if doesn't work out you both know what not to do and you learn something about yourself.Good luck

Answer 7

Breaking up is very hard to do, no matter who you are. But from you say about how your relationship is, it sounds like it is already over. You cant hold on to something you just don't have anymore. It's futile. Do Both of yourselves a favor, sit down, talk, and end it.

Answer 8

I think you guys are young....you should just agree that there is too much tension and move on....trust me, if your meant to be together, 5 years from now, you will be. Sometime we have to travel new roads, explore other lands, meet new people, have relationships and one night stands to teach us and make us into a more well rounded person who can appreciate a good relationship with out all the drama...and a couple years later when you both have those experiences behind you, you'll think they are hilarious!!!

Answer 9

Take a break. Scale back the relationship and try to find your friendship. Once you've done that, you'll know if you can have a relationship with her. You may be trying to push yourselves somewhere outside your comfort zone. Try building your friendship and trust in eachother, then worry about a relationship.

Answer 10

I would recommend taking a break for a bit. I'm in a similar situation in fact almost the same not exactly though. Hope that helps :)