Do you think destination weddings are a little presumptuous?

Question

I know that they're very popular right now...but truly, unless it was my sister or extremely close cousin, I probably wouldn't go. It seems like you're asking so much of your guests for a local wedding, but then include airfaire, hotel, time off from work, and possible babysitter for multiple days...

Anyone else agree? Does it REALLY save you THAT much money? What are your thoughts on the destination weddings?

*I don't see how asking someone to buy a bottle of wine is on par with asking someone to buy a roundtrip plane ticket, and pay for a hotel in order to see someone get married...? Which if you're inviting someone, you're essentially doing.

Answer 1

You have a point. Guest do have to go to a lot more trouble and expense to attend a far-off wedding than a local wedding.

OTOH, for many people, families and friends aren't as local as they were in previous generations. My fiance and I have family and/or friends we plan to invite in Alaska, Washington state, Oregon, California, Colorado, Maryland, Virginia, Florida, and England. Odds are, someone's going to be flying somewhere! Granted, if it's a local wedding, some guests can often be put up in somebody's guest room.

Answer 2

I think people do it, so they can have the small wedding they want. I only know one person who had a destination wedding and they knew it would exclude most people. They invited people verbally stating they understood if they could not make it. I didn't attend, to pay for a vacation I didn't want was more that I would do. Only way is if I would enjoy that destination. I was single at the time at it was at a all inclusive for couples.

Anyone who expects more than their immediate family, and closest friends are expecting too much. If someone plans a destination wedding they should not be upset if someone does not show up.

Answer 3

My husband's best friend had a destination wedding in Vegas. No matter what they would have done, 1/2 of the family would have had to travel anyway, since the two of them were from two different states (8 hours apart). By having the destination wedding, they were able to invite family and a few close friends. Then they followed up with individual receptions in the home towns of each of their parents. We had a blast, and had a vacation of it. They spent less time working on the wedding because they chose someone who did most of the work for them.

Everyone who went had a great time, and no one felt like they were left out or put apon to go to the wedding. Really, many people have to travel to weddings anyway, unless you have two people who grew up in the same towns, and never left and have families that never left either.

Answer 4

I can't speak on behalf of other people who are having destination weddings, but for me it wasn't a matter or making people come. My fiance and I both understand what a financial burden it is, so we only sent invitations to very close friends and family, and we didn't expect anyone to come. Actually, we originally planned on eloping, but knew that our best friends and closest family probably would never forgive us!

In my opinion, people either have a destination wedding because they're like me and don't want a huge wedding (which is usually too much of a hassle and large in part cookie-cutter), or because they want to go over-the-top. Generally, when you are having an over-the-top DW, you are supposed to pay for your guests accommodations at least.

Also, yes, we saved a lot of money. We're also having a small informal party on our return. I think the entire thing, including our week long honeymoon cost about $4,000.

I guess it all comes down to what the couple wants, and a wedding is about a marriage first and foremost. Traditional weddings are not for everyone, but DW couples really can't be mad at guests who aren't able to attend. My guests are all using my wedding as an excuse to have a great vacation of their own.

Answer 5

It's not a matter of cost- although that matters, but choice. Our guests are invited to join us in Thailand- now we've had 2 reactions- absolute horror and jumping to buy tickets. We have ad a tour company design a tour so our guests are safe- and it cost £600 less per person that the cheapest equivalent- I say equivalent- its the same tour rejigged. We want to marry in a spiritual way- whether our friends and family are there or not. I think too many people live in the past and think the wedding is for other people, its not, its for the couple and how they want to do it is their choice. Too many white church weddings become a one up man-ship on each other- how big the cake is- how many guests, who designed the dress- what's on the menu- is it a buffet? why invite a distant relative you haven't ever met??
I'm really excited about our wedding- we were going to Thailand anyway-I think people would be more upset if they hadn't been told or invited.

Answer 6

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Answer 7

Well, my fiance and I are having a destination wedding in state. We live in my fiance's home town, so if we had it here most would need to travel to our wedding. If we had it in my home town, again, most will need to travel. So we're getting married in beautiful Yosemite. Everyone, including us, is traveling.
As it turns out, people are looking forward to our wedding!! They are using it as an excuse to take a vacation and staying longer.
If a bride and groom really wants an out of state/country destination wedding, then they usually understand that most people will not have the ability to attend. And, chances are, unless you where family or a very, very close friend, your wouldn't be invited anyways. And, as in our situation, most people would use it as a excuse to take a vacation. After all, most destination weddings are in desirable locations.

Answer 8

I dont agree because you are not asking, you are inviting people to come, and of course you understand that many of them cannot come. Thats why destination weddings are often smaller. Also consider the many international marriages and how families are scattered all over the globe, which was my situation. Our family and friends live all over the place. Some people actually like traveling and would look forward to a wedding, combining it with a vacation for themselves.

Answer 9

I agree with you in that I think they're an easy out - but then brides often want the best of both worlds. They want the destination wedding, then ANOTHER reception and/or ceremony when they get back home. To me, that's the presumptuous part. How about ONE wedding, whatever is planned....

Answer 10

i think it depends - normally i would agree with you - but what do you consider it if you are getting married in the town you currently live but none of your relatives do - it would be a destination wedding for them anyway so in this case why not let them maybe get a plane ticket discount (tickets would be cheaper to a destination stop that to a Podunk town in the middle of nowhere.) or a mini vacation out of the deal?