I love my girlfriend and I want to marry her, but I think proposing is stupid and embarrassing.?

Question

I am in mad love with my girlfriend and I want to marry her. The problem is that I think proposing is stupid and childish. I'm not going to buy a ring, get on my knees and ask her to marry me with some pitiful setting. I would look like an embarrassment to myself. How do I ask her to marry me without having to propose? Is there any way?

Answer 1

Awwww....come on....you are taking all the romance out of it. There is nothing embarassing about proposing. Proposing comes from the heart so perhaps you do not truly love her if you cannot ask her properly.

Good luck!

Answer 2

First of all, is your girlfriend madly in love with you? Second, do you think she's also ready to get married? If the answer is yes to both of those questions, you will need to formulate a plan.

A proposal doesn't have to be the kind of sappy, grand gesture you often see in the movies, but you should make it special for your girlfriend's sake. You can't ask a woman to marry you the same way you'd ask her if she feels like pizza or Chinese for dinner--you just can't.

The location and the manner in which you propose are totally up to you. You should be comfortable, ideally in a spot that has some significance to your girlfriend, or for you as a couple. You don't need a song or a poem or fireworks if that's not your speed, but you should treat her to a special event or a meal or an outing for this occasion.

The ring thing: not everyone has a giant rock ready for their proposal, and instead opt for something temporary and symbolic. Don't stress about this. The important thing is for you to demonstrate that you take this relationship seriously--serious enough to continue on in this relationship for the rest of your life--and the only way to do this is to put some effort into this proposal. So make it happen!

Cheers

Answer 3

I agree that not every girl wants a huge rock or an on the knee proposal. However, every girl does want to know that the guy is serious ~ which is symbolized by the ring and a genuine (not cheesy) proposal.

Women get a lot of sh*t when they talk about marriage but don't have a ring to show for it. Friends, family & coworkers just assume the guy isn't as serious as the girl ~ otherwise there would be a ring to symbolize the commitment.

The purpose of the ring is to show intent ~ lots of girls have been with guys who suggest marriage ~ but it doesn't really mean much if you are just talking about wanting to marry *someday*. A ring signifies a solid comitment.

At the very least, purchase a ring (doesn't have to be big, fancy or expensive ~ you can even buy a beautiful ring at a thrift store) and present it to her when the two of you are alone & tell her what you said here, that you are in mad love & want to marry her. That will be enough, trust me =)

Answer 4

If it is important to your girlfriend that you will suck it up and propose because you are madly in love with her and want to make her happy.

If you're really worried about proposing...

First, realize that no matter how you ask her to marry you, this will always be your proposal. It's stupid to you, but it is important to most women.

Second, you don't have to get down on one knee or have a ring to purpose to your girlfriend. If this is a real concern maybe cook her dinner at your place and when it's just the two of you there tell her you've been thinking marriage, if she says yes the two of you can pick out a ring together.

Good luck.

Answer 5

If you truly love her and want to get married... TELL HER! Look her in the eye, tell her you love her and you want to marry her. Ask if she'll marry you. Be honest and sincere.

Listen, not all women are romantics--some would be just as embarrassed to be on the receiving end of a grand proposal. Granted, there are plenty of women who wait their whole lives for that "perfect" moment... but you know your girlfriend best.

If you think HOW you propose is more important to her than the sentiment behind it, take a long, hard look at your relationship. The two of you may be incompatible in other ways.

PS - You don't NEED to have a ring, at least not when you first ask (though it's certainly a nice thing to have. You can go shopping together after the fact and get her one she likes). My boyfriend is the most romantic person I know, but we've already decided there will be no ring--the committment is more important than beginning our married lives in debt. Again, you should know best what will make your girlfriend happy.

Answer 6

I really don't mean to offend you...but GET OVER YOURSELF! If you are going to ask HER to marry you...shouldn't it be about what would make her happy, what would make her feel special?

You can make your proposal as simple as you like, but there's really no way to get around it. If you don't propose in a public place, there's no reason to be embarrassed. (If you would be embarrassed in front of just your girlfriend, you might not really be ready to marry her.) You also don't have to take her to "some pitiful setting", some of my friends have been proposed to in their boyfriends cars or apartments, and they loved it. You don't even have to get down on one knee, although I do think it's a nice gesture. But, I am still old fashioned about the ring issue...meaning you need to have one. It'll show her you are serious and spent some time and thought into it.

p.s. something to think about... if the idea of proposing embarrasses you this much, how are you ever going to be able to participate in a wedding? Are weddings "stupid and childish", too?

Answer 7

If you think you are embarrassing yourself and you think it is stupid and childish you are too immature to get married and probably not as in love as you think. If you were truly in love with her you would do anything to make her happy and that includes a sappy romantic proposal with a ring on one knee. I am still disappointed that my husband didn't get on one knee. He did the proposal thing very sweet and on Valentines Day to boot but him not doing the one knee thing kinda bothered me after the fact. In the moment I didn't think about it. I mean put some effort into it. It only happens once in your life and it should be a special romantic moment. Don't be cheap and stupid. Plus if you don't ask her how can she say yes?

Answer 8

Who says you have to get down on your knees or even one knee? My fiance didn't. Who says the setting has to be pitiful? We got engaged at a beautiful castle overlooking the Pacific Ocean. As for a ring, how would it make you look stupid and childish to buy one? If she has her heart set on a ring, I think you would be cheap not to buy her one. You can propose with a placeholder ring and have her pick out the actual ring.

If you ask her to marry you, you are by definition, proposing. And I would hope you would do it in person, in a nice setting or meaningful way, not an impersonal way like leaving a message on her voice mail.

Stop worrying about how you look. I don't think a woman in the history of engagements ever thought her partner looked stupid and childish for proposing in a traditional or somewhat traditional manner. And think about HER experience of someone who loved her enough to take the trouble to create a nice proposal, as opposed to making this all about YOU and your embarrassment.

Answer 9

I could understand you being shy about proposing, but you say it is stupid and childish. That's not right. You would not look like an embarassment. don't do it in public for one thing, if you don't want an audience.
But you for sure have to buy a ring to propose in any way to a woman. That is part of the proposal/engagement. That along with setting a date in soon after is all part of being engaged.
You don't have to get on your knee, but do something. Put the ring somewhere for her to find. She'll know what it means. Don't take the romance out of her life. As you go through life, you will celebrate anniversaries etc and saying everything is stupid won't get you off the hook.

Answer 10

Sure you can just randomly ask her but proposing is very important to the majoirty of women, whether you think it is stupid or not. Now, if she doesn't care for traditional proposals then don't worry about it. Just give her an honest telling of your feelings and ask. All I'm saying is that 9 out of 10 women at least want you on your knee, even if they aren't demanding a huge rock.

Compromise....get on one knee, propose with a less expensive gemstone, and do it in private so nobody can see how "stupid" you are.

Sorry man but if you truly love this girl and the proposal is important to her you would be willing to sacrafice 5 minutes of shame to save her a lifetime of dissapointment that she got a really crappy proposal. Marriage is all about compromise and if you aren't willing to budge on something this tiny then you probably aren't ready to be married.

Answer 11

I think you are confused. Asking her to marry you and proposing are the same thing. If you do not feel comfortable getting on 1 knee, then don't. Although I would strongly suggest getting her an engagement ring, unless she specifically told you she doesn't want one. You can ask her anyway you want, just do it politely and tell her you love her and didn't want to do anything cheesy.

I'm not saying you have to ask her in public and embarass yourself but the most romantic thing you can do is make a fool out of yourself for the one you love, do you love her enough to make a fool out of yourself? If not then rethink the whole marriage thing!