My Gurlfriend is Goina Propose To me!!!!! I know because i accenditaly read her diary. lately i have been able to avoid her attempts to try to get me at a resturant or any other fancy place but i dont no how long i can keep this up.
Dont get Me Wrong i Like my Girlfirend but
1. I dont think a lady should propose to a man it just seems very wrong
2. im kinda scared to get married because aloot of ppl get divorces and i dont wanna end or ruin my friendship/relationship that i have with her i dont no what i'd do if that where to happen
So How are ways that i can politlely refuse the proposal without hurting her feelings???
Any advice is Greatly Appriceated
Please Help
2007-08-24 13:09:14 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
How does someone "accidentally" read someone diary? Sounds to me like you do not respect her at all. Maybe if she knew that you read it she would not be so quick to ask you to marry her. Maybe you should come clean with what you did and talk to her. Tell her that you do not wish to get married and that you read her diary. If you have such a good friendship then you would not snoop in her private things. Also it is 2007 I think it is ok for a woman to propose to a man. Some men just dont get it. Also not all marriages end if you work at them and make the best of it then you could easly stay married for year and years. If she wants this then there is no way to tell her no without hurting her feelings. But you need to come clean with what you did.
2007-08-24 13:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by lizzy_22_1999 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If you really don't want her to propose to you, let her know in a 'soft' way - maybe talk about an article you read or tv show that had it on there and just tell her that it's something you don't feel is right - that you are old fashioned and think it should be up to the man to do it. She should get the idea - and be careful because she may come right out and ask you when you plan on proposing yourself then!
As for you fears of marriage - yes, people get divorced, that's a sad fact of life - but people live to be married a long, long time too. It's a chance you have to be willing to take and you are the only who can say if you are ready to take it.
Good Luck!
2007-08-24 13:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Cory C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that when the time is right, you will want to be able to buy her a house and to provide for her as you should be able to provide for a wife and kids. That you are not ready to start a family and that you love her very much and just need more time to get the financial stability that you desire to have before making a commitment of that importance.
The two main reasons that people get divorced is Money and Communication. Express to her that you want to be sure that the biggest causes of stress to the potential permanent relationship are taken care of before the wedding because you only want to marry once and forever.
Explain also that you don't want to end the relationship if you think that she might be "The One". But only if you really think that she is the one. Don't play with her heart and mind if she is not the one, let her go.
Blessings and best wishes
2007-08-24 13:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by nik named mom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don’t need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don’t need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
ok, so I stole those from Paul Simon's song 50 ways to leave your lover...
how about a simple. No....and why you are saying no. Better to hurt her feelings now than end up divorced down the road...
No you shouldn't have read her diary, but then she may have left it out and open on purpose to give YOU a hint!
You could just casually drop it in a conversation or write in YOUR journal left out to be seen... "I don't think I'm ready to get married to anyone just yet." She'll get the message...
2007-08-24 16:31:16 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you saw her diary on the bed open then tell her you read it but nothing else an say that you want to be the one to propose an then when your thinking about people who get a divorce just think how great you are going right now just think it will be just the same after you get married but something won't be the same ask yoursel how much do you love her everyone is scared of marriage (well not everyone) but just think is this the person you want to spend the rest of you life with don't avoid her any more confront her about it if she loves you she will understand how you feel a she will respect you try it it never hurts to ask good luck
2007-08-24 14:15:47 · answer #5 · answered by Megan Rose 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are not ready to get married definitely don't. Marriage is a life long commitment. I suggest you go ahead and tell her you feel something funny coming in your relationship. Tell her how you feel about marriage & that you are not ready. Keeping distance from her only makes her more nervous & most likley she has set her mind to asking you for marriage anyway. i agree, the male is traditionally supposed to propose. Let your girl know how you feel about her & how much you really love her. Honesty... is really all you can do after that the rest is up to her. i hope it all works out for you.
2007-08-24 16:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by The Brat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't straight out tell her about the reading of the diary since she may think it's an invasion of privacy, but maybe you can make comments how your not ready for marriage or like you should wait for a while until you plan anything. Something that will not give you away, but at the same time let her know your just not ready for marriage.
2007-08-24 13:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by maria 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A good way that will end her attempts to propose (and this will only work if you eventually want to get married) is to buy her a promise ring. If you take the initiative and tell her the promise ring is a token for her to know that you will propose to her when you are both good and ready for marriage.
Do NOT, let her know you were looking in her diary. You need to stop doing that because it makes it look like you don't trust her! So I would try not to make it obvious that you know she is gonna pop the question.
If you don't ever want to get married than just break it off now. Most girls don't like to hear that.
2007-08-24 14:04:15 · answer #8 · answered by cheezbawl2003 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Based on your reasons not to get married, you should start a conversation with her asking how she feels about why so many people these days get a divorce. You should also be honest about how you feel, and why you feel that way. Then in the conversation, sneak a piece of information that implies guys should be the one to propose. Hopefully she gets the idea.
2007-08-24 14:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by itchybubbles 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Do you want to marry her?
Try to mention before it even happens how traditional you are about these things and that you don't like when a woman proposes to a man and that it demasculinizes him.
If she gets you first... Tell her you love her and you are soooo flattered, but you are a traditional man and as much as you love her you simply cannot accept the situation as it is. She is going to have to wait for you to do this in your own time. You appreciate what she went through in preparing this so you are going to (fil in the blank) for her tonight... (rub her feet, give her a massage, make her dinner and feed her dessert, whatever!) but you really feel like you have to be the traditional man here so you hope she'll understand.
2007-08-24 13:19:27 · answer #10 · answered by ETicket 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋