Was wondering why single mothers have such a bad reputation?

Question

The general assumption that I receive as a single mother is that no 'good guys' will ever be interested because of the questions that they will be asked, that all we're looking for is a father, and that we are only good for sex, why is that? And if that is an accurate depiction, then is dating in the future out of the question?

Divorced Mother

My handle is an acronym for my first and middle names since I do not want my real info all over the internet. I do not introduce myself as such. And I guess the part that I didn't understand, is how a grown, intelligent man can think of sex related things first because a response of that nature never crossed my mind when posting my handle.

Answer 1

I think people are just generally weary about "baggage". Usually, people who are divorced or who have kids are considered as having it. There is a stereotypical assumption that the relationship would have more drama because of this baggage.

Don't lose hope though, a good guy will love your child as much as he would love you.

Answer 2

I think that some think that a single mother is someone who whored around got pregnant and deserves the situation she got herself into. As I have gotten older I have had the opportunity to see many remarkable women who are single I find that to be totally untrue. They often struggle with taking care of their kids without help and are the best people to get to know. Many women who are single mothers happen to be because of a collapsed relationship, divorce, or death of their mate which is mostly not their fault to begin with. It's just life and the world we live in. I could not hold a mistake against a girl if she happened to get pregnant at a young age because like everyone else we do make mistakes. Some of them we just have to deal with for a long time. To me, a single mother can almost be a better mate simply because they've had to mature quickly and know how to make things work. I applaud any single mother for raising their kids the best they can. If your a single mother, don't fret there are guys like myself who would be open take taking up the challenge of having a relationship with a single mother. Just give it time and you'll see that the bad reputation your talking about, really has no merit.

Answer 3

I understand... I am a single mother with my 4 month old daughter. The few men that I have ran across even before having the baby have asked the same question. Where is the father? Sometimes men just get afraid that you may be trying to throw your child off on them. To tell you the truth I don't have time for a relationship and that is what I tell them. And the thing about no good guys will be interested is not true. If they are willing to be with you, then they will surely be willing to accept your child...

Answer 4

You have a child. Most men are rather intimidated by that. All depending on the age, children can be quite cruel at times.

Some men just don't want to go through the hassle of bonding with your child(ren), only to find out it might not work between you two.

Dating can be, of course, in the question but you need to find the right guy first. A lot of women find that men who already have children (who live with them or not), make the best partners as they're already fathers and might be a little more comfortable round children.

Answer 5

well....i can tell you that i too am a single mother, and i know exactly what you mean. i am only 26 and i also lost hope after my sons father often told me that no one will want me cause i am damaged goods. i beleive that being a single mother only makes us stronger and better. i mean, we often have our priorities straight and we are responsible. the main problem is finding someone who will be accepting of the fact that you do have a child and that you will not always be able to go out and party. if a guy asks if ur just looking for a father, tell him where he can go. beleive me, i have been out on a lot of dates and as long as u r upfront about ur situation, everything will be fine. a good guy will love u for u and will accept our child, a man who doesn't do that, is not worth dating.

Answer 6

Alright I won't be so bold to say that ALL single mothers strive and work hard to support their children.

However a good majority of them do, and I think that a lot of people are ignorant to that, simply because we only hear about the negative side of single mothers in the news.
Like you hear about child abuse, neglect, etc.

*BUT you never hear about how hard a good majority of those mothers really do actually work in order to pay their bills and survive. I mean it's tough for them, and it can be quite a struggle just to make ends meet.
I think that single mothers, have been given their bad reps also just because when things with their partner fall through, their partner has to pay child support, or give them spousel support etc. etc. so of course mean and hateful things are said...and one thing leads to another.

.Like I said though I think those working class single mothers don't get enough respect and they're not appreciated either for all that they do.

.*P.S. I'm not being sexist, my answer can also be applied to single fathers as well.... :)

Answer 7

Rarely are anyone really given a bad rep! Usually this stuff is spread by people unsure of themselves and try to lower others to their levels.

Hang in there, and you will find that there are plenty of guys willing to meet up with an honest person, that informs them of any children involved, before it gets too intimate. Some guys are not ready to acquire a "ready-made family", wanting to create their own, however there are others that are sure enough of themselves to handle this large responsibility.

Answer 8

Well, I guess that the impression, is that most single mothers will lay anything that moves.

And the first thing that they ask is how much money you make, what kind of car you drive, etc.

This scares the good guys away, because it creates the impression that you are wanting to be taken care of, and have had sex with pretty much everyone in town.

Answer 9

Dating can be in your future.....but you're a mother now and you should handle yourself with respect and DEMAND to be treated with respect.

There are things you don't do....such as be with someone just for sex.....you don't bring guys home when you child is there.....you don't dress extremely provocative.

Respect....that's the name of the game.

Answer 10

Most of the time, men r worried about the relationship that single moms have w/ the child's dad and don't want 2 b inolved w/ that and I understand that (no one wants baby mama drama). Try 2 date men who already have children and have a good relationship w/ their childrens mom. Thats common ground and they can relate 2 u better.