My best friend recently got engaged to my brother in law. they were only together 2 weeks and then he disappeared and had no contact with anyone. the moment he comes back, he proposes and she says yes. i dont believe they are ready for marriage and i am so against these joke marriages where people do it just to do it. she wants me involved...but should i be involved despite my beliefs?
2007-08-24 10:23:27 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
ok now she is going overboard....she cant accept that i dont agree with this, and shes willing to lose me as a friend. p.s. he has a daughter and she is taking pics with him and his daughter like they are a family....this makes me more angry cause that girl has a mom already.......
2007-08-24 12:24:02 · update #1
if you consider her a best friend, you should be there for her. clearly something is going on, maybe she is depressed or sad or lonely, and this is her way of dealing with it. You should talk to her in private, and tell her that you love her and support whatever she does with her life, but you are concerned that this is out of character for her, or you think it's a hasty decision that you worry she might regret. But the bottom line is that she's your friend. If you really love her, you should support her and stand by her, wedding or no wedding.
2007-08-24 15:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by not margaret 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you do not believe the relationship will work, then your friend is going to need you more than ever. Your friend knows how you feel. Now put that aside and support her. You know that she's going to do this anyway, she's going to need guidance along the way. Try to help her make smart decisions with what you can. You won't be able to do that if she writes you off as a friend. Yes, she is likely making a mistake. But she will need her best friend when things fall apart so that she can pick up the pieces.
2007-08-24 20:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by ETicket 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she is your best friend you need to talk to her about your concerns. Let her know you are only looking out for her best interests. Maybe she can convince you that her feelings are real and that it isn't a joke, or maybe you can convince her that they are rushing into things and it may be a mistake.
Either way if you do not believe in the union you should not be involved in the wedding.
Good luck!
2007-08-24 18:25:42 · answer #3 · answered by Reba 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell her how you feel and if she still wants to go through with it then that's her decision. You shouldn't say anything else. You should be a part of the wedding because if your not, then that could ruin your friendship. Friends need to stick together and if your a true friend, then you would be there
2007-08-24 18:59:57 · answer #4 · answered by maria 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You only attend or accept an invitation to be in a wedding when you support the marriage. If you do not then you need to decline.
Good luck!
2007-08-24 17:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should be. 1 of 2 things will likely happen
#1. They'll stay together. If you're not involved you run the risk of ruining your friendship.
#2. They won't stay together. If they don't stay together your best friend is going to need you to be there and be supportive of her.
2007-08-24 17:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
No. It's one thing to attend the wedding, another to be a BM or whatever....you'd be spending alot of $ on something you know is a farce, and if and when it ends, you'l be upset you wasted your heard earned money on it.
2007-08-24 18:37:06 · answer #7 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 weeks are you kidding me? That's stupid. I wouldn't be apart of it. Sounds like she's just way too attached to him if he took off and then all of a sudden comes back and proposes and she says yes. I wouldn't be apart of it and i'd tell her what you think.
2007-08-24 18:16:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes, we need to support our family members and friends even when we don't approve. I don't think you need to stay silent about your beliefs. Maybe talk to her in private. Be caring, be supportive. Find out what's going on in her brain. There may be more going on between the two of them than you thought. Maybe it has been going on longer than you thought. If you go in with an attitude of disapproval, then you run the risk of losing your friendship. Don't put her in a position of being defensive. Just find out what's going on.
Sometimes we need to step back and let people make their own mistakes. It is one of the hardest things to do when we love someone. She's going to do what she's going to do. You have to ask yourself if you love her enough to be supportive? Not going to the wedding and making a petty stand about your disapproval will accomplish absolutely nothing. It is not what real friends do. You don't have to help with the wedding. You don't have to do anything. But you shouldn't turn your back on her either.
2007-08-24 17:37:35 · answer #9 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 2⤊ 4⤋
lol i know what u mean. tell her the closer she gets to planning to the wedding and having everything planned u will strongly consider being apart of it. this way you can see how it all plays out.
2007-08-24 17:39:42 · answer #10 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋