My in-laws are extremely wealthy, their 2 daughters chose not to be stay at home moms and work instead. All 3 of their children, including my husband, are career orientated. I on the other hand come from a family that puts family first, not money. As a child I always knew that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and would not change a thing NOW. However, as confident as I thought I was, they are starting to get at me. I can feel their resentment that I do not "bring home some bacon". I feel like they assume I am taking advantage of my situation which is, they helped us buy a house and my husband open his company. I appreciate all that they do for us but could also care less if I were living in a one bedroom apartment as long as I am the one raising my child. I have NEVER told them what I think but want to before I end up blowing up one day and using words I don't want to!! I would prefer to write a letter considering I am in Hawaii and they are in California. Thanks
2007-08-24 09:16:15 · 9 answers · asked by Aloha Dre 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Have you discussed this with your husband? They are his parents, maybe he feels the same way they do. If so, you've got a real problem! On the other hand, he agrees with you, then their resentment is misplaced. Was your mother-in-law a working parent? (Maybe your husband appreciates that his children's mother will be home with them.) Did the loan for your house and business came with a contract requiring you to earn money? They should have made that clear. If you and your husband have made a commitment to repay that loan and you're in arrears, then they may have some legitimate cause for alarm. However, if they're simply glowering at your parenting standards, then you and your husband need to form a united front respecting their opinion, but following your own choices.
2007-08-24 09:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by tupi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Stay at home moms are great! Personally, I would love to stay at home when I have children. I would not worry about what working moms or your in-laws think. You have a job and that's rasing your children which is not an easy task. Besides that I'm sure you are keeping up the house you live in and much more. I will not pick sides because I believe both stay at home and working mothers have a lot on their hands. However, I dont think you should feel like you are being selfish. You have made a wonderful choice and I think you are blessed to be able to raise your children. Focus on your girls for now dont let other peoples views allow you to miss out on some of the best years of your childrens lives. Good Luck!
2016-05-17 06:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming from your question that although they've helped you two a bit, that you're paying your day to day living expenses alright with just your husband's salary. As long as that's true and as long as you and your husband are on the same page on this one I would let anything your in-laws say or imply roll off your back.
If things they say bother you then maybe you and DH can have a plan that every time you see them he makes a comment or two about all that you do at home and how it helps him do what he does at work.
I know I appreciate it when my DH does that with his parents every once in a while. But we're both on the same page thinking that I should be at home since he's out at sea so much of the time.
2007-08-24 10:36:08 · answer #3 · answered by Critter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother in law is the same. She seems to think all I do is lay around all day. I do much more than she'll ever know. I'm not sure how you deal with this. Maybe your husband can talk to them? I always ignore my MIL she seems to think that since I don't work outside of the home that I'm not an equal person. It really hurts my feelings. I think taking care of my child is very important.
2007-08-24 09:29:27 · answer #4 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband needs to tell them that together as a couple you two decided that it was best for you to raise your children instead of them being raised in a daycare. He also needs to tell them to not say anything to you that does not support you being a stay at home mom.
Be strong and keep doing what you are doing. Your children will benefit GREATLY by it.
Good luck!
2007-08-24 09:45:31 · answer #5 · answered by Raspberry 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It has nothing to do with your in-laws, whatever you decide it has to be between you and your husband. You need to sit down together and have a heart to heart talk, you need to tell him how you feel.
I would support my daughters in whatever they wanted to do when and if they ever have children.
It is you and your husband that have to decide. Good Luck xxx
2007-08-24 09:51:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tatty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is not something you should handle. Your hus needs to speak with them and explain why you are not working and how the two of you decided this and want this. HE needs to handle his family.
2007-08-24 09:23:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send them pics of bacon and write: ""There! I brought home the bacon and it was delicious. Happy now?"
2007-08-24 09:36:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let your husband do it.
You don't have the responsibility of justifying why you make the decisions that you do.
2007-08-24 09:24:14 · answer #9 · answered by Michael H 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋