grrrr.. i am babysitting my cousins kids... the 1st grader has a mouth on her.. everytime i say anything to her sisters (ages 2 and 4) she says something to them being a smart *** and she is doing the same thing with my son (age 14 months)
she does the same thing to her parents. they have tryed everything. these kids are little terrors! HELP
2007-08-24 08:42:14 · 15 answers · asked by Stacy W 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
wait she don't use bad languge thats the good thing.. she's just mouthy. like example. "ashely please don't throw the toy at jay" then she say. "yeah ashely you not suppose to do that or you will get a time out" its annoying becasue then her sisters will not listen to us then. time outs don't work and neither does grounding.. the kids grounded half her life LOL.. i won't use soap due to she is allergic to some kinds of soap. sigh. i will just be firm i guess.. but it gets soooo annoying. oh yeah and her mom has back handed her for it a few times that don't work either
2007-08-24 14:15:17 · update #1
Spare the ROD spoil the child...
2007-08-24 08:50:31 · answer #1 · answered by Desa 3 · 3⤊ 3⤋
The best way to handle a child like this is to focus on her positive. "O Sweetie, I just love it when you talk like that!" Focus on the desired behavior. We all use polite words in this house. Oops my ears can't hear it when you talk like that... I know what you have to say is really important, so why don't you try again. Another really great phrase is If you choose to keep talking like that then you choose to play in your room by yourself. or whatever other punishment may be. It's hard. I would certainly tell her very sternly that she will not talk to MY child like that. The problem is that the kids need structure. Often, you think you have structure, but not the kind a child may need. Different expectations from different people often send kids into haywire mode. You could sit down with your cousin and list out the rules and ask what the consequence for breaking the rules. Then review as a family to show everyone will hold her accountable for the same rules in the same manner. The united front puts forth a powerful statement. You also might try the Strong Willed Child by Dr Dobson.
2007-08-28 01:23:08 · answer #2 · answered by pickles1720 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, backhanding should be out of the question. I believe in giving a kid a bright red *** if they need it but never hitting them in the face or just when you are mad at them. Maybe you should try whooping them with a time out. For instance, pull her pants down, one smack, not too hard, and put her on the couch for five minutes. It does work. But really, these kids don't sound half bad, just a little annoying, which all kids generally are. I've seen worse, you are lucky.
2007-08-27 22:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by ϑennaß 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children learn what they live. Is it possible that she is simply repeating what she hears?
If she is doing something you think is inappropriate, you should say, "(Child's name), we don't (speak/act/whatever) like that. We (appropriate action)." Example: "Taylor, we don't speak like that. We always use gentle words when we talk to each other."
If she continues, put her on her bed for a timeout and tell her she needs to stay there until you come to get her. The general rule for timeouts is one minute per year of age (therefore, 6 minutes for this child).
When you go in to talk to her, tell her you love her and ask her if she's ready to come out and behave herself. If she is, fine, if not, she can stay in timeout some more.
If she's never had timeout enforced before, she may be extremely difficult--even throw a tantrum. This is NORMAL for children who have not been disciplined (that DOES NOT mean punished--to punish is to hurt the child, to discipline is to teach the child).
If she behaves this way because her parents let her get away with it, it will only get worse until some boundaries are set and enforced. Children WANT boundaries and they push until they get them. Boundaries make them feel safe--they know that we won't let them hurt themselves or others (especially when they have very powerful emotions that they have no experience managing). Boundaries equal LOVE to a child.
Some children push and push and parents give in. This scares children even more--they want the big people to keep them safe and want to know the boundaries are for real.
So--as in the Bible, spare the rod and spoil the child, but that does NOT mean to beat the child. In biblical times, the rod was the symbol of the king's ability to enforce the laws--essentially, it's a symbol of discipline, not punishment.
Love this child as best you can--love works wonders where anger creates more bad feelings. And NEVER hit her or put soap in her mouth. Good luck.
2007-08-24 16:24:40 · answer #4 · answered by stoneinthestream 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
There is a really great book titled Parenting for the Strong Willed Child. although it is meant for younger kids, it may help.
I know it did wonders for our son. Part of behavior problems are the parent inability to be consistent and mean what they say. I know that was my problem in a big way!!
Once I stuck to my guns and put my foot down as far as time outs and taking away privledges, it really made a big difference, and my son treated me with more respect.
I know it's difficult, I was pulling my hair out and wanting to beat my son at the same time, but with patience and being firm without getting angry it can work!
Good luck!
2007-08-24 23:34:18 · answer #5 · answered by Reba 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't need to hit or use soap. You do need to have consistent responses, including telling her the language is inappropriate, giving consequences for inappropriate language and praise for being good. Also make sure that the adults around her are modeling good behavior. Use time-outs, take away tv or computer time, push bedtime earlier, etc. Choose a consequence and impose it consistently -- established bad habits take longer to get rid of and it may take a few weeks or a month, but she will change her behavior. First graders do care what adults think about them.
2007-08-24 16:18:25 · answer #6 · answered by ... 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
since you can't use soap, I would use Tabasco sauce. It is a food and most kids don't like spicy foods. I t will only take a time or two before all you need to say is do you want the Tabasco sauce , Good luck
2007-08-25 01:18:37 · answer #7 · answered by littleme836 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Soap
2007-08-24 15:56:33 · answer #8 · answered by Reported for insulting my belief 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have watch kids like that and i could not take it no more and stoped watching them. There parents need to be more mean and make them listen. when my 5 year old girl does that she gets put in the corner and she hates the corner. Also its just girls.
2007-08-28 12:53:02 · answer #9 · answered by deznfamily 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys are so mean...why would u beat the kid? That's just plain cruel. Maybe the soap, but the best thing to do is not let them do something they want to do badly (e.g. watch TV or play video games; ugh kids). It works for the kids I babysit.
Good luck and you've got my sympathy :-)
2007-08-24 15:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
soap up and clean out that mouth! That's what my parents did when I back talked, although maybe you should talk to her parents about this before hand....otherwise when she starts back talking or running her mouth isolate her from the other children. at 14 months your son is going to pick up on that!
2007-08-24 15:54:44 · answer #11 · answered by kella l 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋