I know it was wrong but....?

Question

ok so me and my boyfriend would have been together for a year on sunday..we took a break from january/febuary to march...anyway he went away in april for business purposes and is coming back tomorrow but my problem is that i may be pregnant by my ex [we had sex in July] like i said i kno it was wrong but i hadn't heard from my boyfriend is like months. Anyway i have to questions.
IF i am should i tell him and risk him leaving??
or should i get an abortion [even though im completely against them]

and dont call me a whore or tell me thats what i get cause i know what i did was messed up but everyone makes mistakes.

oh yea and thanks in advance

Answer 1

well if you are against abortions you shouldnt even be thinking about that. that unborn child doesnt deserve that. but if that guy is still your bf then you need to tell him, and more than likely he will leave you but thats a chance you need to take. bc one way or the other he will find out...
does that other guy that you kanoodled with know that you might be prego?
just go to the doctor to see if you are 100% prego and then weigh out your decisions on that. your probably just stressed. BUT.. if your not, then honestly i would just keep that little mishap to yourself and try working on a better relationship with the bf. :0)

Answer 2

Not one person has the right to call you anything. I wouldn't say you even messed up. If I didn't hear from my boyfriend in two weeks I would have considered us over. You don't hear from him in months and you are worried about him leaving. I would say that is his problem not yours. Honey, don't put your life on hold for anyone. I feel there is a good reason for everything that happens, whether you see it at the time it happens or not. You are blessed to have this child (if you are pregnant). Men come and go, but our children will be our lives forever. Right now it seems as if the baby is "a problem" and what to do about that problem. Trust me, when you see that baby and hold it in your arms you will thank God you didn't go through with an abortion. I am not against them if the reason is right. In fear of losing a boyfriend is not a good reason. Chances are he won't be your boyfriend forever then you and only you are left with the decision you made to abort. At least you will see what type of person he is when/if you tell him. If he leaves then he is an a$$ and wouldn't be responsible. Be sure to take the test to find out for sure before you mention it. Why go through the bull if there is no reason to.

Answer 3

You two "took a break" therefore you were each free to do as you desired.

Find out for sure if you are actually pregnant, then decide what you want to do about it (without regard to a man who isn't the sperm donor). If you want to have it and keep it...then go forth in that manner, let your ex know so he can be prepared to help support it, and tell the guy who you took a break from, that you're pregnant.

If you are pregnant and want to have it but not keep it, same scenario as above but ex won't have to pay child support.

If you intend to abort, then keep it to yourself and unless your guy asks if you were "with" anyone during the break, don't bring it up (and don't ask if he was either).

Don't abort if that goes against your beliefs, just to keep this guy...he may not want to get back together and then you'd have done something you find personally reprehensible by ending the pregnancy and have to live with that.

Answer 4

regardless what you decide to do with the baby you still need to tell him if the situation was in reverse you would want to know right, and if he leaves you then he must not have loved you enough to work things out. If you want to keep the baby then do and if you don't there is always adoption. the question is could you live with your self if you didn't tell your boyfriend or if you had an abortion? And if you haven't heard from your boyfriend in a couple of months makes me think he doesnt care and may be he is not being truthful with you either. Good luck and God be with you.

Answer 5

Wow..what a tough spot but i can relate to what u are going through..when i got pregnant with my 1st daughter my husband and i was(we werent married at the time) split up for awhile and then when she was about 3 months old me and him got back together and have lived happy ever since. My opinion dont get an abortion unless YOU want it. Dont do it because of a man cause if he really loves u he will stand by u no matter what. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

you should tell him. i kno u want him to stay, but if he's the jerk that leaves a girl because he gets her pregnant...u don't want him, cuz he's an immature a$$. On the other side.....he might just stay and raise the baby with you. Then u will know that u have a good guy. What if u got an abortion, and then later found out that he wanted the baby!? you would feel horrible. so deffinitely tell him. if he leaves, then u wouldn't have wanted him anyway.... then u can decide what to do about the baby.

Answer 7

Well my friend, you have quite the problem don't you? I don't know the finer details of the situtation but from what you said it, sounds like you really like this guy. However, your afraid of how he is going to react when he finds out your pregant with some other guys baby. He will probally be alittle upset, pissed, betrayed, sad, used, abused, distruat, etx... He will go throw a thousand emotions in few days, but if he really loves you, then he is going to step up, because thats what real men do, they step up, and take the good with the bad. He won't ask you to get a abortion if you tell him you don't want to, if he does then, I would serouisly consider if this guy is right for you. Because aborting a child can have devastaing affects on you, that he will never feel, and if he is a real man he won't even ask you to do this. I have a good friend who had a similar problem she got pregant by a guy on a pretty random hook up, and didn't realize it untill after she had been dating a new guy for 2weeks, when she found out she told him, that it probally wasn't his, he was shocked at first, but I have to give him credit because his love for her after 2weeks was enough to be like I don't care if its not my child, I love you, and I will raise that child like my own. Needless to say they got married a year after the baby was born. Still happy still together. I hope it works out like that for you.

Sonojudan
"I can't help everyone, but I try and help everyone who need my help."

Answer 8

Yes, you should tell your current boyfriend about the pregnancy. You should also tell your ex about it. You and your ex can make a decision about whether you should have the child or not. As for your current boyfriend, he probably had sex with a woman or two when he was away on business. If he leaves you, it will be ok, because it's not like you're used to having him around. You'll get over it.

Answer 9

Please don't consider getting an abortion just because you may or may not be with a guy. I am pro-choice, I agree that a women has the right to do what ever she wants to with her body, but I could never agree with what you just stated. You are just going to have to deal with it when he comes. Sit down with him, explain the situation and hope that it helps out. You ALSO have to sit down with your ex and let him know what is going on, yes it is your body, but that child is half his! I know you are in a very hard situation, but you need to really think about what you want with your life, how you are going to deal with this baby, if you are going to abort this baby, how would you feel long term with that. THERE IS alot you need to figure out.
Take some time, this is a baby, not a game, so you can't just play around with it. By the way, it's almost Sept. you need to go check if you are pregnant or not, because either you need to have the abortion ASAP or go to the doctor to get proper care for yourself!

Answer 10

You are right when you say everyone makes mistakes. It's how we handle them that makes us who we are. You have to own up to what you did and tell your boyfriend. You say you are against abortion, this is your chance to prove it. Your baby doesn't deserve that. Everything will work out in the end, you just have to be strong. Good luck.