14 month old cries so hard till he gags & pukes if he sleeps in his own crib! What do I do?

Question

He's such a good boy, our little angel during the day, so obedient, so playful & happy, and he'll even nap twice during the day for 30 min - 2 hrs. in his crib but at night he's a little tyrant, and makes my nights hell. All the advice given in my prior question led to him crying so hard he pukes. It pains me to hear him cry, I monitor him from another room with a tv cam. I feel like a walking zombie in the morning if I stay up trying to get him to sleep in his own crib! I have to work the next day, it's too much for me! It's the same thing every night. I nurse him to sleep in my rocker, I hum lullabies, put him down in his crib with his bunny, & then naps 2 hours later he's screaming his head off, gagging, & then puking! Which leads to having to bathe him, change him, nurse him, & rock him to sleep all over again! After 2 - 3 days I cave in & let him co-sleep in the middle of our California-King bed. I've had a month of trying off & on! How can I win this battle?

Answer 1

You put him to bed, and when he gags and pukes, you go in clean him up and put him back to bed, he will stop. My son did the same thing for a week or so and that's what I did. He is making himself do this and it is to get your attention, but if you go in and don't talk to him, clean him up and put him back to bed he will eventually give up, my son did. You don't need to bath him, just get a warm washcloth and wipe him off, and if he is eating and feeding during the day he doesn't need to be nursed back to sleep. Beleive me my son did the same thing and it was hard for me to hear him crying too, but I stuck with it and now he goes to bed just fine. Good Luck, it will pay off.

Answer 2

he is just used to you there, what you need to do is sit next to his crib and tell him goodnight, and he will prob cry but as soon as he realizes you are right there he will eventually calm down and go to sleep, do this a few nights in a row and then gradually move a little further from the crib each night, this way by the 2nd week you should be sitting by the door and he should be able to just lay down and go to sleep and then after that you sit outside of the door so he can see you and then you can stop all together when he is sleeping on his own.
The key is to be consistent and NOT talk to him and give him that interaction, he needs to know it is time to sleep. It will be hard the first few nights but it does work! I have seen it and done it personally! Good Luck:)

Please don't co-sleep, i did this for a year and my child was so insecure and whiny all the time, as soon as i got him sleeping on his own he now confident and secure, no more whiny!

Answer 3

I'm a mom of four, and I can tell you it's just not true that crying it out works for all kids (indeed, I don't think Dr. Ferber suggests that it does, either). It worked great for three of my kids and absolutely not at all for another, who would literally cry for hours and hours with no improvement over weeks. Do what works for your child. Either bring him to bed with you (it may be hard to move him out later, but you'll manage it, and, anyway, so what? it's still better than crashing your car now when you're totally sleep deprived), move the crib to your room, put him to bed later when he's more tired and less able to put up a fight, or consider buying him a bed early (which is what we did with our child who hated the crib ... and guess what? we put her in a bed at 18 months with a gate on her doorway and she started going to sleep with virtually no problems).

Answer 4

You are still nursing? I would pump only. He seems very attached to you, almost like he doesn't want to leave the breast. Anyway, not everything that one person does is going to work for you. Like at 14 months my son was sleeping in a toddler bed, but my daughter which just turned 19 months is no where near going from crib to toddler bed. So you see every child in the whole world is different. I understand the sleepless nights. Have you tried soft music. My daughter goes to sleep listening to country music, LOL. Sometimes the noise is what they like. However, maybe instead of allowing him to sleep in your bed you can just have him sleep in his crib in your room. Does he do better knowing that you are right there? I never let my children cry for hours without going in there to settle them down with reassuring words, soft tones, etc. Never pick them back up but you can rub his back, pat his back, etc. You have to try a bunch of different things until you find one that works. I hate to say it but could you not allow him to fall asleep in your bed and transfer him once he is good and asleep. We did that for a while when my daughter was younger.

Answer 5

Try playing some classical music, run a fan, or something that might make a little bit of noise but isn't too stimulating. Also, he might be afraid of the dark, so try putting a night light in his room or just leave the light on. When he's old enough (15 months), you might try getting him a toddler bed. Our daughter started sleeping better when we got her a toddler bed rather than a crib. (I think it might be a "big kid" thing. You might try that as well. If all else fails, try putting his crib/bed in your room.

Answer 6

He's not ready to be seperated from you yet. I will admit there are MANY more parents who co-sleep with their toddlers then will admit it here on the boards. My son is 3.5 years old and only recently has he been able to sleep in his own bed in his room.
If you absolutely don't want him in your bed you can try to put his crib next to your bed and see how that works but it didn't work with my son. I was working the 4 am shift and couldn't afford to have him screaming and sick all night. Love your little man and let him cuddle with you. soon enough he will outgrow the need to be near you constantly and you'll miss his love!

Answer 7

I went through this exact same thing, and you can win the battle, but its not going to be easy. My son cried so hard he puked at every nap, and at bedtime. It SUCKED!! I can tell you what I did, and you have to be strong for this. First, you have to stop rocking him to sleep. The problem with my son, is I'd rock him to sleep, lay him down, and then if he woke up, he didn't have the ability to put himself back to sleep because he relied on me rocking him. You can still nurse him, but then plop him in the crib, no rocking to sleep. He of course will freak out. With my son, I put towels all around his crib to make for easier clean up. Once he puked, I'd clean him up, but then plop him right back in - don't nurse him again, as that just gives him more to puke up. And then let him scream until he drops. It was so hard, I'd call my mother and keep her on the phone the entire time so she could reassure me and keep me from killing myself. It took 2 full weeks for me (my son was a bit older, 18 mos and VERY stubborn) but I finally prevailed!! And he was a fantastic sleeper, never puked from that day on. But the key is you have to be very consistent. Don't give in adn bring him to your bed or rock him to sleep, or you'll be back at square one and have to start over.

My pediatrician assured me up and down my son would be fine, despite him puking every nap and bedtime for 2 weeks.
I was an emotional wreck, but it did work and my son is 6 now and was and is absolutely fine (and still a great sleeper).

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 8

It is a really bad idea to let a baby sleep in bed with you. I saw a show about a mom who accidentally rolled over on to her baby and killed the baby. You need to get you doctor involved in this one. Crying so hard the baby pukes is not good. Why don't you are your husband take turns with the baby too? That way you can alternate getting a good nights rest at least.

Answer 9

I tried this and decided my son just wasn't ready. At 21 months, we tried again and he actually likes his bed most nights. I don't believe in letting a child cry. I feel it is our duty to tend to them, not every little squeak, but all out crying should be comforted. My SIL let her son cry it out and he is whiny and afriad of his own toys. My son isn't scared of anything and certainly isn't whiny.
BTW, anyone who rolls over on top of something as large as a baby and doesn't know had issues before they went to sleep. The last "girl" I heard of doing this later confessed to doing it on pupose. When my child was first born we used a special "bed" that had hard sides and laid in between my hus and I. One of the biggest opponents to co-sleeping recently came out with the results of a study that he did on his own wife and child proving the child had better breathing patterns when co-sleeping.
Every child and family is different. Yours may be like mine and just may not be ready yet.
Good luck and best wishes.

Answer 10

Quiet Storm - mi babi is right. Bring the crib in your room or let him sleep in your bed. He's suffering from separation anxiety...if you leave him to cry alone in his bed he will feel 'abandoned.' He is only 14 months old, too young to reason with. He needs to feel loved and safe

My parents were from the 'let them cry' generation and that's what I was taught.