why is my one year old acting this way.?

Question

my one year old is biting hitting and pulling hair. he is also not listening like he was a few weeks ago. he is trying to stand in carts and in seats where he once sat still like an angel. i have been under alot of stress due to my husband being put into a state hospital 2 weeks ago for depression and trying to killhimself. and losing my job this last week. jay can't see his dad and i see him on the weekends and talk to him. would he be acting out like this lately due to the stress on me and his dad not being home. i don't know how to dicpiline him for this because i have tryed EVERYTHING...... please i am a first time mom under lots of stress and i don't know what to do with my little hunny

my husband was never voilent toward us or himself. until they decied right before jay was born that he was depressed then put him on paxil and never thought about his drinking problem! so then he drank and he just got worse about the depression and stuff.. and its just gotten really really bad the last 3 months becuase he lost his job and i got a new one and he had to be here by himself with jay.. i don't know . and just found out its gonna be a while before he is comming hom becuase he is not opening up like they want him too... "not responing to the treatment." sigh.. i hope jay does better..

Answer 1

First, i am sorry for everything that has been stressing you out lately. That has got to be enough of a problem alone and now with your little one acting out.....much tougher. Have you contacted your child's doctor? Perhaps, if not, you should. He could be acting out because he too is stressed from not seeing his daddy, sees how you are re-acting to your own stress and reacts his own way. As you know, he can't talk about his feelings and so crying, tantrums and acting out is his only means of communication. If you haven't consulted the help or advice from his doctor, try. I hope your problems resolve soon, hun. Perhaps also you should see a doctor for your own health issues. Again I am so sorry that you are ailing at this time. Good luck in all you do!

Answer 2

Well partly because he is growing up and discovering that he CAN stand up, bite, hit etc. It also gets a reaction from you. This just gets worse, by the way. First you cannot wait for them to walk and talk...then you wish they would sit down and shut up, lol.

If you have been dealing with these other issues and with his dad gone suddenly, it may just be that he needs some time with you...he is going to need reassurances that you aren't leaving as well. You can't simply tell him that, he won't understand, so you have to demonstrate it physically best you can. Make sure he gets some of your undivided attention. I know that is probably difficult right now.

Also, take some time for you. Get a sitter or have a family member take care of him so you can take a bubble bath or something just for you. You will be able to give more of yourself with your own batteries recharged.

Hope things get better for you.

Be firm, but patient with him (and yourself).

Answer 3

Stacy - I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. Your son is reacting to your stress. According to Dr. John Gray (author of Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus) in his book Children are From Heaven, little children FEEL what their parents FEEL. If you are stressed out, then your son will be stressed out. So when he starts acting out (biting, hitting) YOU need to calm yourself down first, then deal with him. Do not try to discipline him, just hold him, reassure him and love him until he calms down, too.

One more thing, sometimes when little children feel pain and cannot verbally express it, they will hit you to SHOW you how they are feeling. Say something to him like, "I know you're hurting and that's why you hit me, but hitting is not allowed." He may not be able to answer you back, but he will understand you.

Good luck!

Answer 4

maybe he's repeating what his father did? did he abuse you or the child or himself? Do you think he isn't listening because he is losing his hearing? He may kick and bite because he can't hear himself or anything around him as well as he used to? I would check out his hearing, but make sure you talk to him. Children need to be spoken to. Make serious eye contact and hold his hands when you tell him something is wrong. Don't be afraid to yell if it's necessary.

Answer 5

most of that is a normal one year old trying to push the limit just punish him strap him in to carts or keep him in his stroller strapped in. as for the hitting and bitting and hair pull ing show him it hurts bit him gently enough to hurt but not mark pop his hand to show hitting hurts not too hard though just enough to sting and pull his hair. show him your boss and punish him he can sit in a one minute time out also. the sooner you punish and correct this the better. has nothing to do with daddy being gone

my husband was military and always gone and my son did all this even when daddy was around he is testing you be firm and show him who is boss

Answer 6

it seems baby is also feeling the stress that is affecting you and your hubby. is there any family member that can help you baby sit. consistency is what works with babies. as they are learning how to behave. you need to speak to someone, as stress is not good for you, your health, or your baby. speak to the pediatrician about the situation. baby needs to feel safe and stable. i hope you and your husband get the help you need. try some suport groups. lots of love and attention work wonders. i am sorry to hear about husband and job. if you need to speak to someone dont hesitate to email me. good luck and god bless.

Answer 7

These honestly sound like typical toddler behaviors. Keep in mind that everyone experiences life changing circumstances. However, we have to continue to be parents. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Answer 8

try a daycare center. some kids will listen to teachers but not parents because we love them and let them get away with alot. this is that terrible two stage. its pretty normal. its just a phase. try a time out pen that he/she can't get out of.