He says he has feelings for me but doesnt love me. He is 53. Divorced. I am 44. He says he doesnt fall that easily. And he wonders how I know how I feel the way I do. Guys please give me the straight dope. Thanks
2007-08-24 07:17:49 · 6 answers · asked by maggie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Wow what great response. Thank you !This has really been weighing on my mind. Apparently I have a lot to learn. I am very spontaneous, so no wonder it seemed foreign to me that he would or could need time. You guys are Uber cool.
2007-08-24 09:36:10 · update #1
I told my husband I loved him first, after 3 months of dating because I REALLY did. He told me the same thing your bf told you. He only later admitted that he really DID love me...he was just scared to admit it because he'd been hurt before...and he wasn't sure if saying it so soon was appropriate.
2007-08-24 07:22:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look at you with the hip slang at 44. Ok, I'll give you the dope.
Love means different things to different people. To some, love if a feeling of incredible connection, to others, a feeling of incredible attraction. Some see it as something mythical and magical, others see it as practical and scientific.
Most people feel a little connection, some attraction and a little attention and they're ready to marry the person. Other people take time to analyze it - they go through a mental checklist and make sure every t is crossed and every i is dotted.
My gut tells me you two view love in a very different way - you are consumed by the emotion of it, and he is analyzing it - probably comparing you to other relationships in the past and seeing how you measure.
Neither is right or wrong, but probably something in the middle is a little more realistic.
2007-08-24 14:25:45 · answer #2 · answered by ookami007 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's possible for a man to BE in love without realizing he's "fallen" in love.
... and yes, it's possible for a man to fall in love after 4 months. Heck, it's possible to fall in love after 1 minute of dating!
At the age he's at (53) - odds are he's pretty set in his ways... and things which are going to radically change his life - like admitting he's in love and bringing another person into that life is a difficult thing to do. Make doubly difficult because of the divorce (triple that difficulty if it was a BAD divorce).
2007-08-24 14:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Eric C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Miss Maggie. Hon sometimes a man can fall in love in a heartbeat ! All it takes is that first glance or hearing her first giggle sight unseen ! True love can just be like a bolt of lightning, you never know when or where it will strike ! But you know that life will never be the same again !
2007-08-24 14:34:42 · answer #4 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Four months is not that long, especially for adults who are not seeing one another everyday, like when you were in school.
I would not question him anymore about it, or worry about it.
If you feel like he is not as interested in you as you are in him, then you might want to date someone else.
2007-08-24 14:28:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends on da man. but i would need longer.
2007-08-24 14:23:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋